Celia Mcmahon [Mcmahon - Unspoken

M y mother slipped the corset over my head and tightened the straps. She cinched and pulled until it laid, pressing my ribs together, snug enough to satisfy her. I finally let out a breath. Even though I grew up wearing these lousy pieces of fashion, it always felt as though I had to relearn how to breathe.

I'll do what I can, she finally said.

I sat down on the chair whose back Id been gripping for the past ten minutes. I wanted to hunch, but I couldnt. It was like my bones had been replaced with steel rods. I bit back a swear as my mother gathered up my hair and pinned it in a neat, tight knot on the crown of my head. She patted down the flyways, flashes of her bright red nails in my periphery. As blood red as her gown.

She stood back to admire her handiwork. There. I suppose that will be enough not to put the royal family in a state of embarrassment.

You do know that I am able to dress myself, I said to her, fighting the urge to shake my head like a wet dog and tease apart the hair that began to hurt my scalp.

As queen, you will never have to do anything on your own, my mother replied, giving a soft smile to my reflection. As the current queen, it was her business to ensure that I was the picture of what the kingdom sees in their future. Granted, I fought tooth and nail throughout my seventeen-and-a-half years as princess of Stormwall.

Only as queen, though, right? I said with a smirk.

Only as queen, but right now you must heed me and stop wearing that hideous makeup. Set on a proper color lip stain. The elders want to be pleased and amazed at your presence. Not terrified, reaching for their hearts. You are there to consecrate a temple, after all.

I forced back a smart retort. Yes, ma'am, I murmured instead.

Isabelle, she warned.

She twirled away and plucked my dress from my bed. I tried to look as bored as possible as I stood up and took it from her outstretched hands. This one, pale green chiffon layered with satin, had a bust that curved around each of my breasts and faded to a darker green at the very end of the skirt. The train, the color of an oak tree, attached to my shoulders. The pattern was so narrow that I not only had to determine how to breathe, but also how to walk.

My favorite, my mother announced, clapping her hands. She rested her hands along the apron of her layered skirt and watched as I groaned my way into the dress. She smiled, which was an oddity for my mother because normally she took in the world with severe tolerance. Always the picture-perfect queen, lips pressed in a hard line, ready to rule even in her sleep. A woman may be forgotten. But a queen lives on forever. That is what she tried to teach me from birth. I listened and I nodded like any good princess would.

Just because I listened did not mean I had to obey.

Your first public, ceremonial outing, she said. Are you nervous?

No, I lied. I wasnt doing much, just standing there while someone else unlocked a door and opened it to the public for the first time. But for my mother, it held much more importance. It would show me standing on my own, as I one day I would stand as queen. She saw this ceremony as the first step to becoming queen. I saw it as more of a chance to escape.

When she had taken me in for long enough, she gestured toward the pair of black leather button shoes and turned to leave, the ripples of her skirt's train trailing behind.

Be good, she said, her tone hard. The weakness had passed, and her dark eyes hardened.

As good as I can be in this torture device, I thought. How shed been doing it for forty years was beyond me.

The elders look forward to seeing you.

They are going to be sorely disappointed. I curbed a snort.

I watched her close the door to my chambers and then turned back to my reflection. My mother had always said green was my color and I didnt disagree. Even my hair looked better than it had in a long time. That was when I noticed the small gold barrette she had placed at the base of the knot. Tilting my head, I saw the shape of a dragonfly. Pretty, I thought, admiring my entire look. And then I gave a tongue-in-cheek smirk. It was a pity it would be coming off the second I left this room.

I set off for the servant entrance, which was the quickest route away from the castle. I could navigate the hall with my eyes closed, and I knew all the shortcuts which wouldnt draw attention. In record time, I was through the walkway and stables, where Id quickly changed my clothing into something much more comfortable: a loose gray tunic, fitted black trousers and my worn boots. I saddled my horse, drew my bow and quiver from their hiding place amongst the hay, and cut a path through the gates into the woods beyond.

I rode my horse down Kings Road, hooves digging into the earth, the cool, wild air against my skin, down a hill where the cloudless blue sky turned from a small sliver centered in the trees. The cusp of winter brought on earlier sunsets and chilly nights with the promise of snow, making its way slowly from across the mountains. With autumn came the end of my seventeenth yearin five weeks to be exactand soon enough, talk of marriage proposals would be more than just an afterthought in the plan for my future.

They could dream. I heard my mothers voice telling me to focus on my future, and saw the heated look on my father's face when I would come home covered in the blood of a pig or drenched from getting stuck out in the rain without my cloak. With a father like mine, it was normal to use fear to force me to comply with his wishes, and for him to make me feel wrong about the person I was. Hed taught me how easy it was to love someone and hate them at the same time.

Days existed in their cramped way behind the walls of Stormwall. It wasnt until my thirteenth year that my mother allowed me past the castle gates and down into the towns which expanded the world of concrete, stone, and forest. I knew there was much more in Mirosa, the New Kingdom, but these places were as names on a map. Stormwall is Mirosa, my father would say. All power, forest, and armies nestled against the mountains in the north. Nothing and nobody else mattered.

But I knew different. Lots of things mattered to me.

I gently drew backward on the reins of my horse. Somewhere in the distance came the snort of an animalthe sound of a promising day. This may be a good day yet.

I jumped down, lifted the blanket from my saddle, and revealed my bow and arrow. I let out a long breath. Id forgotten what life outside the palace was like, and how my body relaxed instead of being taut as a bowstring.

I felt free.

I raised my eyebrows and threw the quiver onto my back, adjusting the strap across my chest. I stalked deeper into the trees, bow in hand. I didnt have to hunt for my own food as others do. I didnt have to skin it or cook it. I didnt even have to ask for it. It's just always been there. My brother had taught me the way others do it. Hed taught me that every piece of a kill needed to be used.