MacDonald - Odd Ducks

Contents This one is for my mom Marie. She loves a good laugh. Production History Odd Ducks by Bryden MacDonald was commissioned by the Chester Playhouse Summer Theatre Festival and produced at the playhouse in Chester, Nova Scotia, from September 20 to 29, 2012, with the following cast and crew: AMBROSE : Christian Murray MANDY : Joanne Miller ESTELLE : Samantha Wilson FREDDY : Brian Heighton Directed by Bryden MacDonald Lights, set, and sound designed by Bob Elliott Costume, set, and props designed by Janet MacLellan Stage managed and sound designed by Jenn Hewitt Technical assistance by Seth Cole Produced by Mary Lou Martin and Erick Bickerdike Cast All in their forties. AMBROSE ARCHIBALD A narcissist. Charming. Irritating.

Unemployed. MANDY MENZIES Sweet. Naive. Needy. Prone to hysteria. Impatient. Impatient.

Direct but kind. FREDDY DURDLE Ambroses only friend. Hard-working. Fed up. The offstage voices of WALTER and MAN and WOMAN can be supplied by the main cast. Production Note The play takes place at and in the near vicinity of the Odd Duck Pub in Tartan Cross a small village near the ocean on Canadas east coast.

The Odd Ducks old wooden bar is a constant. With upside-down bar stools on its countertop legs reaching to the sky it mimics a shadowy stand of birch. It might also ramble and morph into a fence through a pretty backyard garden. Weathered barnboard and bursts of sunflowers might embrace the playing area creating a number of places for characters to appear from and eavesdrop behind. The play is lively and chaotic taking place just before during and not very long after the incident that compels these misfits to tell their story. They often leave a scene to come and speak to us to defend themselves or to confide.

There is the feeling that they might not know what is coming next. Sometimes we might wonder if they know why they are even there at all. With minimal set and props Odd Ducks should move at a bright and carefree pace. There is no need to hide anything the characters set the stage speaking as they do so if necessary. The overlapping scenes are punctuated by snippets of jukebox pop songs and shifts in light. ODD DUCKS MUSIC All by Myself by Eric Carmen plays as the lights fade up on a calm starry moonlit night in a forest clearing.

Shadows of birch trees. An intimidating shrub. A pup tent: a pair of booted feet protrude from one end. As the songs chorus repeats the music fades into exaggeratedly ominous forest sounds. Then silence. The pup tent collapses.

From within we hear a grown man begin to weep. The weeping becomes histrionic as he wrestles with the tent. Finally the man appears from under the wreckage. This is AMBROSE Archibald a roguish man-child. He wears jeans and a plaid jacket with snap closures. He has a bandage on his head.

AMBROSE kicks and spits at the tent. He stomps on it. AMBROSE I hate you I hate you I hate hate hate you! He pants until his breathing regulates. AMBROSE looks around fearful and suspicious. In an attempt to calm down he speaks to himself. This is very traumatic.

This is no picnic. This is very unpleasant and painful and grim and hard. This is so hard. Vision quests are hard. He walks into the shrub and squeals. I hate nature.

I hate the woods. The woods are the woods are devilish. The woods are devilish and scary and Im scared. Im scared Im scared Im scared. I swear I will never never ever have another stupid epiphany again. Its oppressive.

Its boring and its stupid. It screws you up. I feel really screwed up. It wasnt even an epiphany. Thats the epiphany: it wasnt an epiphany. I was drunk.

A booze-induced hallucination drove me to this this this vision stupid quest. Ill never drink again. What was I thinking? Who am I? I dont know. I dont care. I dont care anymore. I cant care.

He falls to his knees deflated. Im exhausted. Is this the thanks I get for trying to be a better friggin person. Huh? Im sorry. Im sorry for being me! He hears something. Im armed. Im armed.

Ive got a He looks around. Ive got a He grabs the crumpled tent. Ive got a tent! He shakes the tent and attempts to wield it like a weapon then chucks it offstage and raises his arms in surrender. Please dont hurt me. Silence. Hello? Oh dear god whats that sound? Its tribal.

He puts his palm to his chest. Its my heart. Okay. Its my heart. I have a heart. AMBROSE has an epiphany.

He cries out with great jubilation. I have a heart! He looks to the sky for the first time and gasps. Thats impossible there are so many stars. He gasps again. Is that the moon? That cant be the moon. He is lost in the sky.

An owl hoots and flies overhead. Fly fly grandfather owl announce your freedom to the world. The owl defecates in his eye. AMBROSE wipes his eye clean. Thank you! Thank you for acknowledging my existence! MUSIC Like a Prayer by Madonna. With dramatic flair AMBROSE tears open his jacket and chucks it out of sight removes the bandage from his head tucks in his Led Zeppelin T-shirt produces a comb and slicks back his hair.

AMBROSE comes to us. He smiles acknowledging our presence. He speaks to us. Yes friends its true. I Ambrose Archibald was once indeed a desperate man at the end of my proverbial rope. I had failed myself.

I had failed my family. I had failed my friends. But really who hasnt? Anyway I had to resort to desperate measures. I needed to look into the abyss and yes the abyss does look back: a chilling reflection. I cant imagine many people actually survive the shock. Im proud to say that I did.

I saw myself clearly. Really really clearly. I saw myself judging others accusing them of arrogance because I thought they were blind to their place in this misshapen world. But I was only trying to help them. In turn they called me arrogant unleashed their hatred on me and tried to drive me crazy. I was like a little kitten lost in my own backyard or a little lamb a little lamb lost in the meadow or more like across the road from the meadow.

You know what I mean. I was lost. But I know now in my heart and I do have a heart that they really didnt hate me they just hated themselves. And that dear friends is showbiz. We are all on our own cosmic conveyor belt to enlightenment. Amen.

Praise your gods whichever one you choose to be chained to. I choose to be free. Ive learned that the more things you give up on the more things you abandon and ignore the less you have to focus on. And this is good. This is good for the soul. And so after suffering the repercussions of being misunderstood physical attacks and hurtful betrayals culminating with public humiliation at my beloved Odd Duck Pub for simply trying to apologize I now choose to believe in me.

I have been given a second chance. I remain calm and in the moment. I choose to live a simple life. I no longer act hastily. I follow my heart and yes sometimes my heart is lazy. But in the words of the great Zen masters: why do today what you can put off for another life.

We hear ESTELLE Carmichael and MANDY Menzies offstage. ESTELLE I cant listen to this crap anymore. MANDY Estelle! ESTELLE storms on and comes face to face with AMBROSE . She wears comfortable clothes in pretty pastels. ESTELLE You are so full of it! MANDY Estelle! ESTELLE speaks to us. ESTELLE Lock up your daughters.

Hide the silverware. MANDY rushes on. Her look is bright and tight. She grabs ESTELLE s hand. MANDY Estelle calm down. ESTELLE Im sorry honey but AMBROSE I forgive you.

ESTELLE Im not talking to you! Idiot! ESTELLE storms off. MANDY speaks to us. MANDY He needs serious counselling. And I should know because so do I. MANDY screams at AMBROSE . Loser! She runs off after ESTELLE .