Ruth Rendell - Shake Hands Forever

1

The woman standing under the departures board at Victoria station had a flat rectangular body and an iron-hard rectangular face. A hat of fawn-coloured corrugated felt rather like a walnut shell encased her head, her hands were gloved in fawn-coloured cotton, and at her feet was the durable but scarcely used brown leather suitcase she had taken on her honeymoon forty-five years before. Her eyes scanned the scurrying commuters while her mouth grew more and more set, the lips thinning to a hairline crack.

She was waiting for her son. He was one minute late and his unpunctuality had begun to afford her a glowing satisfaction. She was hardly aware of this pleasure and, had she been accused of it, would have denied it, just as she would have denied the delight all failure and backsliding in other people brought her. But it was present as an undefined sense of well-being that was to vanish almost as soon as it had been born and be succeeded on Roberts sudden hasty arrival by her usual ill-temper. He was so nearly on time as to make any remarks about his lateness absurd, so she contented herself with offering her leathery cheek to his lips and saying:

There you are then.

Have you got your ticket? said Robert Hathall.

She hadnt. She knew that money had been tight with him for the three years of his second marriage, but that was his fault. Paying her share would only encourage him.

Youd better go and get them, she said, unless you want us to miss the train, and she held even more tightly to her zipped-up handbag.

He was a long time about it. She noted that the Eastbourne train, stopping at Toxborough, Myringham and Kingsmarkham, was due to depart at six twelve, and it was five past now. No fully formed uncompromising thought that it would be nice to miss the train entered her mind, any more than she had consciously told herself it would be nice to find her daughter-in-law in tears, the house filthy and no meal cooked, but once more the seeds of pleasurable resentment began germinating.

She had looked forward to this weekend with a deep contentment, certain it would go wrong. Nothing would suit her better than that it should begin to go wrong by their arriving late through no fault of hers, and that their lateness should result in a quarrel between Robert and Angela. But all this smouldered silent and unanalyzed under her immediate awareness that Robert was making a mess of things again.

Nevertheless, they caught the train. It was crowded and they both had to stand. Mrs Hathall never complained. She would have fainted before citing her age and her varicose veins as reasons why this or that man should give up his seat to her. Stoicism governed her. Instead, she planted her thick body which, buttoned up in a stiff fawn coat, had the appearance of a wardrobe, in such a way as to prevent the passenger in the window seat from moving his legs or reading his newspaper.

She had only one thing to say to Robert and that could keep till there were fewer listeners, and she found it hard to suppose he could have anything to say to her.

Hadnt they, after all, spent every weekday evening together for the past two months? But people she had noticed with some puzzlement, were prone to chatter when they had nothing to say. Even her own son was guilty of this.

She listened grimly while he went on about the beautiful scenery through which they would soon pass, the amenities of Bury Cottage, and how much Angela was looking forward to seeing her. Mrs Hathall permitted herself a kind of snort at this last. A two-syllabled grunt made somewhere in her glottis that could be roughly interpreted as a laugh. Her lips didnt move. She was reflecting on the one and onlytime she had met her daughter-in-law, in that room in Earls Court, when Angela had committed the outrage of referring to Eileen as a greedy bitch. Much would have to be done, many amends be made, before that indiscretion could be forgotten. Mrs Hathall remembered how she had marched straight out of that room and down the stairs, resolving nevernever under any circumstances to see Angela again. It only proved how forbearing she was that she was going to Kingsmarkham now.

At Myringham the passenger by the window, his legs numb, staggered out of the train and Mrs Hathall got his seat. Robert, she could tell, was getting nervous. There was nothing surprising in that. He knew very well this Angela couldnt compete with Eileen as cook and housekeeper and he was wondering just how far below his first wifes standards his second would fall. His next words confirmed her conviction that this was troubling his mind.

Angelas spent the week spring-cleaning the place to make it nice for you.

Mrs Hathall was shocked that anyone could make such a statement aloud and in front of a carriage full of people.

What she would have liked to say was, firstly, that he should keep his voice down and, secondly, that any decent women kept her house clean at all times. But she contented herself with a Im sure she neednt put herself out for me and added repressively that it was time he got her suitcase down.

Its five minutes yet, said Robert.

She replied by getting heavily to her feet and struggling with the case herself. Robert and another man intervened to help her, the case nearly fell on to the head of a girl with a baby in her arms, and by the time the train drew to a halt at Kingsmarkham, sending them all staggering and clutching each other, the carriage was in a small uproar.

Out on the platform, Mrs Hathall said, That could have been avoided if youd done as you were asked. You always were obstinate.

She couldnt understand why he didnt retaliate and fight back. He must be more strung-up than she had thought. To goad him further, she said, I suppose were going to have a taxi?

Angelas meeting us in the car.

Then there wasnt much time for her to say what she had to. She pushed her suitcase at him and took hold of his arm in a proprietory manner. It wasnt that she needed his support or his reassurance, but she felt it essential that this daughter-in-lawhow galling and disreputable to have two daughters-in-law!should, in her first glimpse of them, see them consolidated and arm-in-arm.

Eileen came in this morning, she said as they gave up their tickets.

He shrugged absently. I wonder you two dont live together.

Thatd make things easy for you. You wouldnt have to keep a roof over her head. Mrs Hathall tightened her grip on the arm which he had attempted to jerk away. She said to give you her love and say why dont you go round one evening while youre in London.

You must be joking, said Robert Hathall, but he said it vaguely and without much rancour. He was scanning the car park.

Pursuing her theme, Mrs Hathall began Its a wicked shame ... and then stopped in mid-sentence. A marvellous realization was dawning on her. She knew that car of Roberts, would know it anywhere, hed had it long enough thanks to the straits that women had brought him to.

She too let her sharp eyes rove round the tarmac square, and then she said in a satisfied tone, Doesnt look as if shed put herself out to meet us.

Robert seemed discomfited. The train was a couple of minutes early.

It was three minutes late, said his mother. She sighed happily. Eileen would have been there to meet them all right.

Eileen would have been on the platform with a kiss for her mother-in-law and a cheerful promise of the nice tea that awaited them. And her granddaughter too ... Mrs Hathall remarked as if to herself but loud enough to be heard, Poor little Rosemary.

It was very unlike Robert, who was his mothers son, to take this sort of aggravation without comment, but again he made none. It doesnt matter, he said. Its not that far.

I can walk, said Mrs Hathall in the stoical tone of one who realizes that there will be worse trials to come and that the first and lightest must be bravely borne. Im quite used to walking.