Michele Bardsley - Broken Heart, Oklahoma 6 Come Hell Or High Water

We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.

Oscar Wilde

Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face-to-face.

Nelson DeMille

What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how Im going to die? You know what? Ive got one. Lets see, what rhymes with Shut up, Sam?

Dean Winchester, Supernatural, Fresh Blood

Why did she take your eyes? I asked, my voice unsteady.

He didnt answer right away. I wondered about the bargain hed made, more than one, to this Nera. Demons were bound by the conditions of their bargains. However, bartering with a demon was the worst idea ever. Most people were so worried about getting what they desperately wanted that they didnt worry about little things like what the friggin demons demanded in return. Souls. Blood. Appendages. Firstborns.

Twas the price she asked for the antitoxin.

I know, I said. I touched the cloth, and once again, Connor drew my hand away. I meant, why does she need them?

Demon eyes are required ingredients for divination spells. Shell use em to bargain with another demon, or maybe a witch who practices black magic.

Oh, my God. I pressed my face into my hands. Hed given up his beautiful amber gaze so that I would live. I thought hed donated a little blood to the soup, but now I realized hed done that only so the demon saliva would go down easier.

Here was a man whod plotted for a month to get me into bed. To mate with me. It had something to do with the talisman an object that inspired people to act all kinds of crazy. I wanted to think he was a selfish jerk whod taken advantage of me, but when he did shit like give up freaking body parts, it was hard to cast him in the role of a pure villain. Immortal or not, getting your eyeballs removed had to hurt like hell. I couldnt begin to fathom how terrible it had been for him to let Nera carve them out of his head.

My stomach squeezed. Oh, God.

I really wished I could take a cleansing breath, but Id have to settle for pretending. Not nearly as satisfying, though. Dear Anger: I am not a victim. And Im not gonna act like one anymore, either. So shut up. Thanks.

Recriminations were over.

Like it or not, I was in this thing with Connor all the way to the finish line. I could only hope that it would end well. I wanted to be with my son again and to be able to raise him. I couldnt imagine a world without Danny in it, and Id do whatever it took to make sure wed be together.

Now all I needed was a plan. Id take one step at a time. Id deal with the marital-bonding thing later.

Phoebe? Connor put his hand on my arm. My eyes will grow back. Im a demon, remember? Immortal with magical healin.

Jennifer told me. And I mightve remembered that little fact once the horror of it all had worn off. When a guy tells you that he gave up his eyes for you, it sorta makes it hard to think beyond that statement.

Grievous wounds take longer to heal, especially when its complete regeneration, he said, his tone reassuring. Ill be all right in a day or so.

Can we afford a day or so? My question seemed callous, so I kept my voice soft. I mean, Lilith is on the rampage. What if she gets the other half of the talisman before we do?

She wont. He sounded confident.

You already have it?

Yes, he said. But its complicated. Everything will be explained. But better to tell you all of it when we meet with the others.

Who are these others?

Astria Vedere and her guardians, Anise and Ren. Theres also Larsa. Shes a vampire.

He leaned his head against the wall and blew out a shuddering breath. He was pale, and I knew he was in pain. I let him rest while I thought about what hed told me.

Everyone knew the Vedere females were powerful human psychics. Their prophecies always came true. I wondered who Larsa was, and why shed help a half-demon steal a valuable magical object. It appeared I was part of the insane quest whether I wanted to be or not.

How much would Connor share with me if I just offered him some trust? Maybe he wouldnt take me at face value. And why should he? He knew my agenda was to get free of this entire mess. However, my freedom was dependent upon helping Connor accomplish his goals.

I felt good as new after feeding. If we could get clean and find some decent clothes, we could move on to phase one of Find the Talisman. Well, and get Connor healed up.

I missed Danny. I wondered what he and Jackson were doing today. Riding the teacups? Watching a show? Eating ice cream? I imagined my son holding his fathers hand, the sunshine gleaming on his brown hair, his smile as he saw Mickey Mouse.

What had the Consortium told Jackson? I had no doubt that Jackson would call the backup numbers. He knew I would never miss a nightly phone call. Not on purpose.

I needed to check in with Broken Heart. No doubt someone had figured out Id disappeared. Would the demon hunters be blamed? I doubted it. No way they couldve popped into town without anyone knowing. The Invisi-shield kept everyone out. There was a process for getting into Broken Heart a flawed one, because Connor had managed to get approval for citizenship and live there for a whole month.

It was likely the hunters had gotten into town with Queen Patsys permission, though I found it hard to believe she would tell them to go to my house and pick up Connor. If shed known Connor was a demon in disguise, she wouldve added a team of Broken Heart security. Patsy was not fond of demons, not since shed nearly been killed by one several years before.

I glanced at Connor, flinching at that terrible covering over his eyes. Had Nera never heard of gauze? Maybe some antibiotic?

Connor, is there a way to make your eyes heal faster?

Hey, if Nera could heal me with some spit, then she could probably do something about Connors eyes especially seeing as how she took em. If not her, then some other demon. I wasnt sure what I would bargain with. Giving up my body parts squicked me out, but Connor had done it. So could I. Vampires regenerated, too.

Connor nodded. I dinnae think youre gonna like it.

I loved it when his accent got all thick and sexy. A little shiver went through me. Focus, Pheebs.

No good deed goes unpunished, muttered Connor, crossing his arms. His jaw clenched. Like all creatures created by the gods, demonkind have a purpose. Its not a nice one, mind you. He sighed. Unlike most demons, I have a soul and a conscience. I dinnae often assuage my demon side.

Oh, Connor. I put my hand on his thigh, feeling sorry for him. He hadnt chosen what he was; he could only decide what kind of man, or demon, he wanted to be. I was still figuring it all out, but one conclusion I had was that everything was not black and white. I was dancing in the shadows of gray.

He lightly squeezed my hand. The more a full demon fulfills his purpose, the stronger he gets. Violence, fighting, rage... these are doorways to evil. Despite what you believe about me, I try not to open them.

Is there an EpiPen for evil? I asked.

Connor looked down at me, which was sorta useless because he couldnt see me. His lips quirked. How I wished I could see the humor sparkling in that amber gaze, could know he was whole and that he wasnt suffering anymore because of me.

It seems like being nice is an allergy. I chewed my lower lip. If youre mean, will your eyes regenerate faster?