Charles Todd - A Duty to the Dead

At sea

This morning the sun is lovely and warm. All the portholes below are open, to allow what breeze there is to blow through the lower decks and air them. With no wounded onboard to keep us occupied, we are weary of one anothers company. Beds are made up, kits readied, duties done. Since Gibraltar Ive written to everyone I know, read all the books I could borrow, and even sketched the seabirds. Uneventful is the password of the day.

I lifted my pen from the paper and stared out across the blue water. Id posted letters during our coaling stopover in Naples, and there wasnt much I could add about the journey since then. Id already mentioned the fact that Greece was somewhere over the horizon and likely to stay there. Someone had sighted dolphins off the bow just after first light, and Id mentioned that too. What else? Oh, yes.

We discovered a birds nest in one of the lifeboats, no idea how long it had been there or if the hatching was successful. Or what variety of bird it might have been. Margaret, one of the nursing sisters, claimed it must surely be the Ancient Mariners albatross, and we spent the next half hour trying to think what we should name our unknown guest. Choices ranged from Coleridge to the Kaiser, but my personal favorite was Alice in Wonderland.

I always tried to keep my letters cheerful, even when the wards were filled with wounded, and we were working late into the night, fighting to save the worst cases. My worries werent to be shared. At home and in the trenches, letters were a brief and welcome respite from war. It was better that way. And now we were in the Kea Channel, just off the Greek coast at Cape Sounion, and steaming toward our final destination at Lemnos. It was the collection point for wounded from Greek Macedonia, Palestine, and Mesopotamia. There, post could be sent on through the Army.

Id grown rather superstitious about writing to friends as often as I could. Id learned too well just how precious time was, and how easily someone slipped away, dying days or weeks before I heard the news. My only consolation was that a letter might have reached them and made them smile a little while they were still living, or comforted them in their last hours. God knew, the Battle of the Somme over the summer had been such a bloodbath no one could say with any certainty how many men wed lost. I could put a face to far too many names on those casualty lists.

A gull flew up to land on the railing close by me, an eye fixed on me. Most were nearly tame, begging for handouts. In the distance, over the birds shoulder, was a smudge that must be Kea. The sea here was a sparkling blue and calm, Britannic s frothy wake the only disturbance as far as the eye could see in any direction. Sailing between the island and the mainland was a shortcut that saved miles and miles of travel.

Or as Captain Bartlett had told me on my first voyage out, Keep Cape Sounion on your left and Kea on your right, and you cant go wrong. And so I looked for it every voyage thereafter, like a marker in the sea.

One of Britannic s officers paused by my deck chair, and the gull took flight with an annoyed squawk. I see youre already enjoying the morning air, Miss Crawford. The last time we passed through here, it was pouring rain. You could hardly see your hand before your face. Remember?

Browning was sun browned, broad shouldered, and handsome in his uniform. Wed formed a friendship of sorts during the voyages out, flirting a little to pass the time. Neither of us took it seriously.

Much pleasanter than France this time of year, I replied, smiling up at him. No mud.

He laughed. And no one firing at you. We should be safe as houses soon.

Thats good to hear. But I knew he was lying. It was a game all of us played, pretending that German U-boats werent a constant threat. Even hospital ships like Britannic were not safe from them, despite our white paint and great red crosses. They were said to believe that we hid fresh troops among the wounded or stowed munitions in the hold amongst the medical supplies. There was no truth to their suspicions, of course. And this channel was well traveled, always a temptation. For that matter, mines paid no heed to the nationality or purpose of the hull above them, when a vessel sailed too near. You couldnt dwell on it, or youd live in fear.

He moved on, overseeing the change of the watch, and I capped my pen.

There was something about his laugh that reminded me of Arthur Graham. When it caught me unawares, as it had done just now, the gates of memory opened and Arthurs face would come back to me.

During training, wed been warned about letting ourselves care too much for our patients. They are yours to comfort, yours to heal, but not yours to dream about, Matron had told us firmly. Only foolish girls let themselves be drawn into romantic imaginings. See that you are not one of them.

Good advice. But Matron hadnt foreseen Arthur Graham. Hed been popular with the other wounded, the medical orderlies, and the nursing staff. It was impossible not to like him, and liking him, it was impossible not to feel something for him as he fought a gallant but losing battle with death. I wasnt foolish enough to believe it was love, but I was honest enough to admit I cared more than I should. Id watched so many wounded die. Perhaps that was why I desperately wanted to see this one man snatch a victory out of defeat and restore my faith in the goodness of God. But it wasnt to be.