Cathy Glass - Daddys Little Princess: Part 3 of 3

February continued to rattle along at great speed as a cold northeasterly wind blew in small flurries of snow bitterly cold but not enough to make snowmen and enjoy it. I didnt hear from Jessie during February, although I did telephone her halfway through the month after Beth asked me to, to find out how her father was. A colleague of Jessies answered her telephone and told me Jessie was on annual leave for two weeks. I left a message asking Jessie to telephone me when she returned to work.

With no contact between Beth and her father, her bond with him appeared to be slowly weakening. She talked about him less and less. When she did mention him, it was usually something like: I dont think I have a daddy any more, or, My daddy has gone away and is never coming back. While I felt very sorry for her and obviously comforted her as best I could, I thought that perhaps it was for the best if Beth accepted that her father would be permanently missing from her life, for it seemed highly unlikely shed ever live with him again or, possibly, even see him again.

The last week in February was half-term, so the children had a weeks holiday from school. The weather stayed bitterly cold and I provided activities to do at home. We also visited some indoor attractions: a small local museum, a ball pond and an activity centre. John only missed coming home one weekend in February but to our delight took the Monday of half-term off work, and we all went to the cinema in the afternoon, which was great. That evening I raised the subject of our annual summer holiday with him, as I felt we needed to book it before long. Since wed had children, we hadnt gone abroad but had rented an apartment on the English coast. John said he wasnt sure what his work commitments would be for summer, but that hed look into it and wed book something as soon as he knew.

Im not sure if Beth will be coming with us, I said to John. Although my guess is she will be.

You need to ask that social worker what her plans are for Beth, John said, slightly disgruntled. Its difficult to plan ahead, not knowing. I assume Beths not staying with us forever.

I gave a small laugh. It would never surprise me! I said. But youre right. Ill ask Jessie when she phones.

As it turned out, when Jessie did telephone on the first Thursday in March I didnt ask her about the long-term plans for Beth, or if she could come with us on holiday. I was too shocked by what she was telling me.

Derek was discharged from hospital on Tuesday, she said. Hes home now and I want to set up telephone contact for Friday. Ill need you to monitor it.

Discharged? I repeated in disbelief. Is he better, then? Id been expecting to hear he was in police custody charged with child abuse.

Hes well enough to go home, Jessie said guardedly. And hed like to speak to Beth. I assume Beth would like to speak to her father?

Well, yes. I expect she would, I said, completely nonplussed and thrown by what Jessie was saying.

Good. You can telephone him any time after five oclock on Friday. But you must monitor the call. Do you have a telephone that can be put on speaker?

Yes, the answerphone in the hall can be.

Use it, please, and stop the call if Beth becomes upset or Derek says anything inappropriate.

The obvious question was: what sort of things? But my thoughts were all over the place and all the questions I should have been asking flew from my head.

If this call goes well, Jessie continued, we can start regular telephone contact, but thats in the future. And I need you to come to a meeting Tuesday, one oclock. The same room as before. Its likely to be a long one, so allow most of the afternoon. You can tell me how the telephone call went then, so it might be a good idea to take some notes.

Yes, I agreed as I scribbled the date and time on the notepad I kept beside the phone. How long should the telephone call last? They used to be on the telephone for ages before.

I should think fifteen minutes is sufficient for the first call, Jessie said. Do you have Dereks home telephone number?

No. Just the hospital.

Pen handy?

Yes, go ahead. I wrote down the telephone number and then repeated it back to Jessie to check I had it down correctly.

Ill tell Derek to expect Beths call on Friday evening, Jessie said. Its possible Marianne may answer the telephone, so you make the call.

Marianne is with Derek? I asked, even more amazed.

Yes. Shes moved in for the time being. Why? Is there a problem?

No, I said, my thoughts somersaulting. Should I speak to Derek or do I just pass the telephone to Beth as I did before?

There was a pause and then Jessie said: You can speak to him, but tread carefully. Im in a meeting soon. Is there anything else?

No, I dont think so, I said, not understanding what was going on.

Ill see you Tuesday, then, Jessie said. Im out of the office tomorrow and Monday, so if theres a problem, call my colleague.

All right, I said.

We said goodbye and I hung up. My heart was racing and my stomach churned as I struggled to make sense of what Id been told. All contact between Derek and his daughter had been stopped over a month ago, and now with no explanation we were to telephone and I was to monitor the call. Had he been cleared of child abuse? It didnt seem likely, given the evidence against him. And Marianne had moved in, so it seemed Id been right in suspecting her motives. But then again, who would want to live with a child molester? It simply didnt make sense, and I assumed some explanation would be given at the meeting the following week.

Beth no longer asked me every afternoon when she came out of school if there was any news about her daddy, so I waited until we were home and Adrian and Paula were occupied before I told her she could telephone her father. Shed gone up to her bedroom to fetch a toy, so I went up after her.

Beth, I said, going straight in as the door was open. Jessie phoned today.

She immediately turned and looked at me.

She said you could telephone your father tomorrow evening. Hes left hospital and is home now.

Beths mouth dropped open and her eyes rounded in astonishment. Does that mean Ill be going home soon? she asked.

Although Jessie hadnt mentioned Beth going home, Id formed the impression that she wouldnt be. Not as far as I know, I said gently. But Jessie said if the telephone call goes well then youll be able to telephone him again another evening. Im seeing Jessie on Tuesday, so I should know more then.

Beth crossed the room and, slipping her arms around my waist, laid her head against my chest for a cuddle. I held her close. I could appreciate how confusing this must be for her. She didnt say anything for some moments, then she raised her head to look at me. Is my daddy better, then? she asked.

Hes well enough to go home, I said, using Jessies phrase.

He needs me, Beth said, dropping her arms and immediately looking worried. Daddy cant be alone. He needs me to look after him, like I used to.

I made the snap decision not to tell Beth that Marianne was at home with her father, as I knew it would upset her, so I said, Im sure Jessie would have thought of that and arranged for a carer if necessary.

As long as its not Marianne, Beth said, her old hostility returning. My daddy hates her and so do I.

Clearly Derek didnt hate Marianne far from it but I wasnt about to tell Beth that.

I hope someone nice is looking after my daddy, Beth said.

Im sure they will be. So please dont worry.