Sophie Oberstein - 10 steps to successful coaching

I believe that really effective supervisors always have been terrific coaches. I believe there are coaches among us, disguised as our colleagues, friends, and family members. These are the people we know we can count on to listen to us, encourage us, challenge us, and help us achieve our biggest dreams.

Many of them make the conscious choice to act as that sounding board and champion; others dont even realize theyre doing anything out of the ordinary and are surprised when their colleagues consider them to be great coaches.

I am one of those people who chose to develop coaching skills. To be honest, I wasnt naturally approachable in the workplace and didnt believe my personality was bubbly enough to be effective as a coach. But after working as a corporate trainer for almost 20 years, I began to find that pulling people away from their jobs to attend classroom training wasnt working anymore. To appeal to a diverse audience, the content of these workshops was too watered down. Many of the situations discussed didnt apply to the people in the roomeach with his or her own level of knowledge and experience about the topic. So, in my last job, as employee development manager for the city of Redwood City, California, I changed our development strategy and brought customized, relevant, one-on-one interventions to the individuals in the workplace. In essence, I invented my own type of coaching, and it had a powerful, positive impact not only on the recipients but also on me. I found myself happier and more effective at producing growth and development. I decided to learn more.

10 Steps to Successful Coaching summarizes what Ive learned on my coaching journey, and it offers a meaningful process for embracing your existing coaching skills and interjecting more of them into your current work style and environment. Coaching uses the strengths you already have as a leader, colleague, or employee to bring out the strengths of others. As such, its not about scrapping who you are to become someone else. Its just about connecting with others in a new way. Its about adding new exercises, processes, and questions to the work you do to produce results that are more rewarding and exciting.

My goal for the book is to help you become happier in your role as manager, employee, friend, partner, or parent by becoming more coach-like in your daily interactions.

Ive experienced this process as both client and coach, and Ive seen the transformations it can produce, so Im excited for you in what youre about to undertake.

I am grateful to the following people for introducing me to the terrific coaches in their lives: Sheryl Gittings, Joyce Irby, Sarah Larson, and Hassan Ramay. And to these terrific coaches who shared some of their greatness with me: Matt Ahrens, Lois Albrecht, Christine Bennett, Robert Cornish, Maria Danly, Tathagata Dasgupta, Meade Dickerson, Ben Dooley, Chris Emery, Laura Goodrich, Maggie Graham, Patricia Katz, Steve Mitten, Caryn Siegel, Marla Skibbins, Barry Weiss, and Susan Wynne. Id be remiss if I didnt also thank CTI and my wonderful course leaders there for the amazing preparation you gave me.

A huge thank-you to Deanne Bryce, my initial reviewer; to Tara Marcus for putting Deanne and me back in touch; and to Paul Hilt, for getting me reconnected to my audience. Thanks also to Brian Gardner for my author photo.

Finally, I am indebted to all of my current and former clients for letting me learn and grow with you. Im honored to have been your coach. Thanks, too, for giving me permission to include some of your stories here. My indebtedness extends to my friends and family, who have supported me wholeheartedly in my own transition first as a coaching client and then as a coach. Special thanks to Nina and Ted Liebman, who laid the foundation by raising me in the greatest of rich and supportive environments, and to Sandy and Barry Oberstein, who did the same for my terrific husband. As is everything, Jeff, Lily, and Evan, this is for you.

Sophie Oberstein