Peter Abrahamsen - Break Down Your Emotional Brick Wall: Put Your Mind at Ease and Be Free of Irrational and Limiting Thoughts

Break Down
Your Emotional
Brick Wall

Put your mind at ease and be free of irrational and limiting thoughts

Peter Abrahamsen

Peter Abrahamsen 2018, Maidenhead

All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced in any form, without prior written permission from Peter Abrahamsen. Brief quotations excepted.

Publishing in the United Kingdom by: Abrahamsen Ltd., Maidenhead

Illustrations created by: Callum Dare, http://www.fomori.co.uk,
Callum Dare 2018, Crowthorne

Book design and layout by

ISBN 978-1-9164625-0-2 (paperback)
ISBN 978-1-9164625-1-9 (ebook)

My special thanks to my wife Anette and to Peter Thomson for support, advice and constructive critique during the writing of this book.

Contents

Why This Book?

Chapter 1: Getting Started

Chapter 2: Mental Health Breakdown

Chapter 3: Handle With Care

Chapter 4: Improve Your Emotional Health

Chapter 5: Why People Do Not Seek Help

Chapter 6: If Someone Asks You For Help

Chapter 7: Take Action

Why This Book?

I was in my early thirties when I first learned why my life had been such a miserable experience for about 25 years. Having stepped back from my planned suicide to give therapy a second and final go, I finally learned that I was suffering from severe clinical depression. Simply getting that diagnosis was a great relief and eight sessions of CBT and a lot of home work later, I was ready to fly solo and reconnect with the people I had cut off over the years, including my own family. Despite a depression growing in intensity over many years, I managed to complete education up to masters level, move from my native Denmark to the UK to pursue a career, deal with relationship break-up, job moves and unemployment. Everything was a chore and struggle.

It is now about 25 years since I conquered depression and what a difference in quality of life. Life is still throwing the normal mix of joys and troubles at me, but now I have the emotional bandwidth to just deal with what comes my way and enjoy life in the process.

Getting started tackling my emotional issue was not easy and it was quite clear from the start that if I wanted to change my life, I had to take action. Nobody else could or would do that for me.

This book is the user guide I wish I had had at the time. It cannot give you all the answers as every situation is unique to each person even though the issue may have a generic label or diagnosis.

Whether you have an emotional issue you are looking to deal with or whether you are simply interested in the subject of emotional health, I feel sure you will find value in working through the steps to break down your emotional brick wall.

Chapter 1:
Getting Started

Realising that you suffer from emotional issues and accepting that that is the case is the first crucial step on your way to good emotional health. As you are reading this book, I assume that you have chosen to do something about it and now it is time to understand the details of your emotional issues.

Make a list of your fears and phobias (e.g. spiders, heights, public speaking, enclosed spaces)

Sometimes when you ask people whats wrong? or whats going on? you get a vague answer like I dont know or Everything.

In order to achieve good emotional health it is important to be specific, otherwise you cannot fix things. So take your time and write down your fears and phobias. Use words that make sense to you e.g. Im not good with heights. No need to worry about using the right technical terms, this is for you about you, not a test on fancy terminology.

The list you come up with is the beginning of a summary of all the things in your life that cause permanent stress and which reduce your ability to cope with the day-to-day challenges that will always be there.

Write down what your fears and phobias stop you doing

Next, write down how your fears and phobias affect you. Is there something you are not doing because you are afraid of something? Here are a few hints: You will only go places where you do not have to fly, claustrophobia stops you from using the lift, you did not make a speech at your daughters wedding because you dread speaking in public.

It can be tricky to make this list because you may have got so used to adjusting your life to suit your fears and phobias that you no longer notice. It can help to discuss this with a trusted friend who may well see things that you do not. When it comes to fixing your issue it is important that you tune into the exact situations.

Make a list of other emotional health issues you may have (e.g. PTSD, OCD, bereavement, eating disorder)

Emotional issues are not limited to fears and phobias. Again, think about your life and write down what emotional issues affect you. This could be post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result of a traumatic event in your life. Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), bereavement, eating disorders, and depression are other examples of negative emotions.

This does not have to be a long essay. Do bullet points if that is easier.

Write down how this affects you

As before, write down how your emotional issues affect and control your life. It is important to describe the symptoms because you will typically know that treatment has worked when the symptoms disappear. For example: the nightmares have stopped or you remain calm when thinking back at the past.

You now have a fairly good idea of the emotional issues you are battling with and how they affect you. Keep what you have written safe as you will need it later as you read on.

Chapter 2:
Mental Health Breakdown

Having first expressed to yourself what your emotional issues are and how they affect you makes it easier to explain to somebody else why you seek help and what kind of help you would like.

It is not easy to break down the mental health market into clear and distinct areas as there is a lot of overlap of what the various practitioners offer. Clinical psychologists and psychiatrists, for example, often treat the same types of issues and in many cases work together.

Consider who you could ask for help

There are so many players in the mental health market. This can make it confusing and hard to work out who would be best suited to talk to.

When choosing a therapist, it is crucial that you do a bit of research into the various options. Check websites, ask questions, compare and contrast the answers you get.

I cannot list all the types of people out there able and willing to help with emotional issues, so here are a few examples:

Your GP (this is often the first port of call and the help you get very much depends on the GPs own attitude to mental health and what the GP can offer within the constraints of the NHS)