James Patterson - Katt vs Dogg
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The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright 2019 by James Patterson
Illustrations copyright 2019 by Anuki Lpez
Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.
The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.
JIMMY Patterson Books / Little, Brown and Company
Hachette Book Group
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JimmyPatterson.org
First ebook edition: April 2019
JIMMY Patterson Books is an imprint of Little, Brown and Company, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The JIMMY Patterson Books name and logo are trademarks of JBP Business, LLC.
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ISBN 978-0-316-41158-5
E3-20190213-JV-NF-ORI
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For Parker and Phoebe Squeak (katts) and in memory of Buster and Fred (doggs)
CG
O scar hung his head out the window of his fathers pickup truck, his tongue flapping in the breeze. It was his favorite thing!
Oscar watched the wind sling his stringy slobber sideways. It was his favorite thing!
The truck was going seventy, maybe eighty miles an hour, swerving around all the other cars and trucks and motorcycles. Oscar saw shiny hubcaps spinning everywhere! He wanted to chase them all. Because chasing stuff was his favorite thing!
Oscar knew that this family vacation to the Western Frontier Park was going to be awesome because the ride to the park already was. It was his favorite road trip, ever!
Suddenly, Oscar heard something wet go splat! His father growled behind the wheel.
Aw, cheese on a biscuit! One of them stupid katts in that stupid SUV just stuck out its stupid head and hocked up a hairball. It splatted all over my windshield here!
Duke? said Oscars mom. Did you forget to take your distemper shot this morning?
No, Lola
Because this was supposed to be a fun family vacation and
Splat!
Another wet gob of slimy hair coated with crud hit the windshield.
Aww, bully stick! grumbled Oscars dad. Why cant they just burp for once? He jammed his paw down on the accelerator. The truck shot up the road even faster. But nooooo they always got to hock up two hairballs. He put on a funny, fancy-pants katt voice. Oooh. Look at me. Im so special! Im a katt. Every time I puke, I puke twice
And they have to do that stupid thing where they heave their shoulders up and down first, added Fifi, Oscars teenage sister. Then they go gack-gack-gack. Like they have to announce that theyre going to puke or whatever. Katts are so totally gross and disgusting.
So lets give them something to really puke about! growled Dad. He pressed his paw down harder on the accelerator.
The rambling truck roared and rattled and raced up the road.
Duke? yelped Oscars mom, holding on to an overhead handle for dear life. Youre scaring me!
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