Table of Contents
To NickolasMB
To JessicaJL
Foreword
Sleep. That blissful yet sometimes elusive state of being that rejuvenates our tired bodies, recharges our over-taxed brains, and re-energizes our spirits. The lack thereof which leads to cranky mornings, fuzzy afternoons, and (with apologies to Walt Disney) the sleepy/dopey/grumpy syndrome. Not to mention the consumption of alarming amounts of high-octane, highly caffeinated specialty beverages.
Sleeping like a baby. The very phrase conjures up visions of peaceful slumber, effortlessly restful nights, and rosy-cheeked, feetie-pajamaclad cherubs drifting off to Dreamland, clutching blankies in their chubby fists. But what if sleeping like a baby in your house instead translates to bitter bedtime battles, midnight howls, endless hours spent in a rocking chair, and flat-out total exhaustion when the alarm rings at 6 A.M.?
Buck up, bleary-eyed Moms and Dads, help is on the way! The Complete Idiots Guide to Sleep Training for Your Child is the perfect antidote to the baby bedtime blues. Chockfull of sage, well-grounded, and practical advice, this book will provide you with all you need to know to solve your childs sleep woes, your way.
But sleep training, you say? Isnt that something you might do with a recalcitrant puppy, not your precious little bundle of joy? In fact, sleep training is a perfectly legitimate term we behavioral psychology-minded types use to describe the process of teaching a child to fall asleep naturally and easily, and to stay asleep through the night. Thats right, teach. Because like taking those first wobbly steps, mastering a sippy cup, and riding a bicycle, sleeping is an instinctive yet complex process that is two parts nature, one part nurture, and the rest learned behavior. And there are almost as many choices of sleep instruction methods out there as there are unhappy babies on the block.
So whats a tired, easily confused, and, lets face it, not exactly rational at 3 A.M. parent to do? Unlike other sleep manuals out there, The Complete Idiots Guide to Sleep Training for Your Child provides information and how-tos for all the major sleep problem-solving techniques, from the cry it out/ignore it approach to the Ferber/ignore but check method to the scheduled awakenings, persistent gentle removal, and wait it out systems, rather than advocating a specific one-size-fits-all plan. The Complete Idiots Guide to Sleep Training for Your Child will help you match a sleep training method to your parenting philosophy and familys lifestyle by exploring all the common challenges and pitfalls, outlining pros and cons, and providing in-the-trenches feedback from parents who have tried the various approaches.
Painstakingly step-by-step, the book includes troubleshooting tips, as well as pointers for special circumstances (i.e., older and special needs children, colicky babies, and so on.). It also covers all the ABCs of ZZZs, ranging from normal sleep development, sleep needs, and sleep hygiene, to bedtime routines, napping, and sleep schedules, while emphasizing good, healthy sleep habits for the whole family, including parents. Never preachy, it includes an intelligent and fair-minded discussion of bed-sharing pluses and minuses, and even covers hypnosis, meditation, guided imagery, Yoga, massage, swaddling, and Tai Chi methods for soothing the savage baby.
So take heart, frazzled fellow parents; down that last swallow of double espresso latte, and read on. You are about to enter the wonderful world of dream-filled nights and sun-drenched, happy days. Your baby (and your boss) will thank you for it, cause if baby aint happy, aint nobody happy. Good night and good luck.
Judith Owens, M.D., Director, Pediatric Sleep Disorders Clinic, Hasbro Childrens Hospital, Providence, Rhode Island
Introduction
We hate to break it to you, but if you have a baby (or are about to get one), sooner or later youll encounter sleep problems. Actually, your baby will encounter the sleep problems but if baby aint happy, nobodys happy. It might be that you have trouble getting your little one to fall asleep at bedtime, or he might wake repeatedly at night and not be able to get back to sleep without help from you, or you might be one of the lucky ones whose child has both problems.
A recent study conducted at Brown University Medical School showed that the majority of children (including babies) do not get enough sleepand lack of sleep causes many problems, including mood swings, irritability, and difficulty focusing.
If your baby or child has trouble sleeping, youll have trouble sleeping. That sleep deprivation is what pushes most parents to try to sleep train their babiesthe parents just cant continue to function on not enough sleep. (Sure, the baby gets to nap! But you have work to do.)
Thats why this book can help. Well show you what you need to know about how babies and children sleepincluding how much they should sleep. Because many older children who have sleep problems had them when they were younger, wed encourage you to start addressing sleep problems when your child is youngbut not a newborn!
No matter if your child is young or old, youll find The Complete Idiots Guide to Sleep Training for Your Child full of information that can help you and your baby get some sleep.
Whats in the Book?
The Complete Idiots Guide to Sleep Training for Your Child is divided into five parts, and each part covers a different area of sleep training. You can read it from start to finish, or you can turn directly to the information you need most.
In Part 1, Sleep 101, we answer questions like What is sleep training? and How many methods are there? This part of the book introduces you to the idea of sleep training your baby or child, and gives you the lowdown on how to create a method to the madness.
In Part 2, Crying It Out, we discover that sometimes the best way to help your baby is to not help her. In this part, well show the various cry it out sleep-training methods, also called extinction methods. Well explain why letting your baby cry (not all night, of course) can help your baby learn to fall asleep and learn how to fall back to sleep after night wakings.
If the idea of letting your sweet baby cry at night is more than you can bear, youll probably want to try a kinder, gentler approach. In Part 3, No More Tears, well explain several different sleep-training methods that dont require you to let your baby cry while you ignore him.
Maybe you got a bargain with your babyshe learned to fall asleep at night with no troubles and quickly picked up on self-soothing techniques so that she could get herself back to sleep after night wakings. But now that shes older, bedtime has become a battleground. Or maybe your child has always had sleep issues and you are now feeling the need to deal with them. What to do? In Part 4, My Babys Not a Baby! Sleep Training for Children, well show how to use sleep-training approaches with toddlers and children young and old. Well help you figure out which approach to try, and well explain why children have sleep problems that babies dont.
You know how a spa day makes you feel good all over? Well, some of the same techniquesmassage, yoga, and soothing musiccan be used with your little one to help him fall asleep. In
