Slater - Great eggspectations?: a dozen questions to help you decide whether keeping chickens is right for you

Keeping chickens is reportedly one of the fastest growing leisure activities in the uk today. This little guide has been written to help you to make an informed decision as to whether this is the hobby for you. There are a dozen questions embedded in the guide....if you answer yes to each one then buying a little flock of chickens could be a good move.

If you answer no to any of them....think again.

Just before we get into the subject proper, lets just answer that question of which came first, the chicken or the egg......chickens are birds and birds evolved from dinosaurs, dinosaurs were reptiles and reptiles lay eggs.... therefore it is clear that the egg came first!

And whilst we are on the subject of eggs lets just have a quick biology lesson; there are two types of egg: the type that can hatch into a sweet and fluffy chick and the type that cant. Only if you want the former do you need a daddy chicken, a rooster, cockerel or cock. If all you want is eggs to eat you dont need a rooster, hens will lay eggs without a man about the house.

Strangely lots of people dont seem aware of this simple fact and presume that keeping chickens must mean cock a doodle do at 4 am every day.

What is your motivation, Darling?

Why are you considering the idea of getting chickens? There are a number of possibilities and each comes with some consequent points.

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

You may well be thinking of keeping chickens for the eggs..and lets face it, chickens are just about the only pet that gives you a tangible return and your own fresh eggs from your own chickens do taste better than anything from a shop.

If eggs are your aim then you will want to look at a couple of factors before you commit too much:

1. The age of the birds you buy; chickens are usually sold at point of lay,ie just as they reach maturity to start regularly producing eggs. Older birds lay fewer eggs so if a good stream of eggs is what you are after; buying ex-battery hens is probably not your best course of action.
2. The type of chickens you buy; you may be surprised to discover that chickens come in all different shapes and sizes, and this effects their egg laying capacity. As a rule of thumb hybrid chickens (those that have been selectively bred and cross bred) produce more eggs over a more consistant time period than pure breed birds. Some hybrids will lay almost everyday for a couple of years before production drops slightly. Bantams (basically mini-chicken) produce little eggs so if you like big omelettes, then again bantams may not be for you. They also tend not to be frequent layers.

It is also worth considering whether you just want to eat the eggs or look at them; some chickens lay coloured eggs and these are really pretty and go down well when you give them to the neighbours; Columbines for instance usually lay lovely greeny-blue eggs.

Am-nest-y International

You may be thinking about getting chickens because you are motivated by a desire to give some poor ex-commercially owned birds a decent retirement. If this is the case, then good on you, but expect some behavioural problems...many battery birds are withdrawn and confused by this sudden freedom, they usually grow out of it but, unlike human prisoners, they get no counselling or rehabilitation support and so it takes a bit of time to get used to seeing the sky.

Former barn kept animals often engage in lots of hen pecking and this can be a bit distressing at first, so long as it doesnt turn to murder and cannibalism then you are ok, and again they usually grow out of it relatively soon. Ex commercial birds do lay eggs...but dont expect each one to lay each day.

Not Maccy Ds but B for Biology

You may want chickens to help educate your children (given that many kids dont seem to know that eggs come from chickens and milk comes from cows this seem s like a good idea.... and it is a lot easier than keeping cows !)

Chickens are actually quite good for this because they are social animals, their behaviour (both inter chicken and with humans) is fascinating, and they are a pretty universal farm animal so for education value they score quite highly. They do need cleaning out so for that aspect of the education they are better than a dog or cat but they dont need walking which may be another plus. In fact it is quite surprising that more primary schools dont keep chickens!

Here, chicky-chicky!

You may want to keep chickens as pets. The reality is that they are actually fascinating creatures, each with its own personality and character, they are enormous fun to watch, and in many cases become very used to being handled and petted. If they free range in your garden they will always rush to see you as soon as you appear. If it is actually the kids that want the pets (and which kids dont seem to want a pet, chickens have some distinct advantages over other pets;

A cat goes out at night and gets run over, chickens dont.

Dogs need walking at least once a day, chickens dont

Dogs and cats live for over ten years so you are still a pet owner when the kids have flown the nest leaving you to look after their pet, chickens dont often live that long!

Cats and dogs take over your house, chickens dont unless of course you invite them in!

Hear the Status Cymbals clash!

If your neighbours have got chickens and you just want to do a social ton up (and who are we to judge the lack of depth in your psyche?) there are all sorts of chickens that will fulfil your desire to own the most amazing bird of the block...you can get chickens that look like one of King Charles the Seconds dissolute courtiers, bewigged and pantalooned. You can get chickens that look like mad colonial Governors with massive plumes. You can get chickens that look like a Courage brewery badge and chickens that look like an animated tickling stick.

Bizarre though it may seem it is a good idea to be clear what the motivation is before you go any further....so your starter for 10 is Are you clear and happy with your basic motivation for wanting chickens?