Peter Larson - Hes Almost a Teenager: Essential Conversations to Have Now

Welcome to the Tween Years: Let the Conversations Begin!

One mom overheard her eleven-year-old son, Sam, proclaim to his friend, Shes so hot! as they discussed the popular girl from their sixth-grade class. Had puberty just begun? Was it okay that he had started to notice girls? Was it okay for him to talk about girls this way? Was it time to batten down the hatches?

Too often our sons tween years are like a journey through a huge dark forest in which it is easy to get turned around, misdirected, and lost. But dont panic. Help is here, both for Sams parents and for you. In the following pages we will help you prepare for and launch your son into adolescence. As you probably remember from your own tween and teen years, this can be quite a ride. It wont be perfect or smooth every day, but we hope to arm you with some helpful thoughts and direction for the journey ahead. First, let us introduce the team who will be your coaches on this trip into the world of adolescence.

Meet Heather and Peter Larson

We are right here with you on this journey with tweens and teens in our home. As parents of two daughters (Anna, age twelve, and Kate, age fourteen) and a son (AJ, age fifteen), we have treasured taking the time to write and talk through these essential conversations in our own family. Peter is a clinical psychologist and Heather is a life coach. Once upon a time, Peter was a youth worker and Heather taught fifth grade. Weve had a lot of experience with children and have combined our professional and personal experiences to offer guidance and insight throughout this book. Gathering input from other families and working with Claudia and David Arp has been a blessing to us and will be an encouragement to you as well.

Meet Claudia and David Arp

We have three adult sons! For many years we have helped parents launch their sons and daughters into adolescence and navigate the sometimes turbulent teenage years. We founded PEP (Parent Encouragement Program) Groups for Parents of Teens and wrote the book Suddenly They re 13 Or the Art of Hugging a Cactus . We look forward to sharing our own experiences of parenting three sons and enjoying our five adolescent grandsons.

For this journey, Peter and Heather will be leading the way, as they are in the middle of the adolescent years. You can be assured that they understand where you are and youll easily relate to them. Peters training as a psychologist and Heathers as a former teacher and current life coach are invaluable in giving helpful advice and support.

We will be the behind-the-scene supporters and from time to time will share some Arp Adagestried and true principlesas well as practical tips from other parents who have successfully navigated this passage. Years ago Dr. James Dobson helped us prepare for this stage of life in his classic book Preparing for Adolescence .

The four of us are standing on the shoulders of those who have gone before us. The Arps especially appreciate the wise counsel and advice from educators Bill and Kathy Clarke, who encouraged us to keep the lines of communication open and build the relationship with each child, and from Phyllis Stanley, who first shared the concept of preparing for the teen years through the vehicle of the Teenage Challenge (our Project Thirteen).

Our team would not be complete without you! Youll be amazed how much wisdom and insight you already possess. You may be part of a couple, a single mom or dad, or a grandparent who is parenting your grandson. Whatever your situation, you might want to pull others into your support circle. You can use this book in a small group with friends who also have tween sons and challenge them to experience these important conversations with their boys as well. As parents, you can share your successes (and redos when things dont go as planned) with each other.

You will discover that you are not alone in this process. You will also learn that each stage your son will go through is temporary and that each stage is leading to maturity! Thank goodness there is light at the end of the adolescent tunnel.

Why Conversations?

One truth that continues to rise to the top is the importance of the relationship you have with your son today. Although this book is for you as the parent to read, our hope is you will have new questions to start a dialogue with your son about the upcoming teen years. A conversation is an opportunity for you to be curious and really learn more about who your son is and who he is becoming. This isnt a typical parenting book with a do this and expect this kind of formula.

Instead, the following chapters include eight meaningful conversations or activities, each crafted around a topic of interest to discuss with your son. These conversations are designed to help you both get ready for the years ahead. Reading the chapter will help you, the parent, prepare for an activity or conversation to have with your son. We will look at the developmental process, biblical guidance, and plans for shifting more responsibility to your son as he matures. And for each conversation we will provide questions and talking points for meaningful discussions together.