Emily Hall - Dinner Talk: 365 engaging conversation starters to help you and your family connect

Some of my most vivid recollections from my childhood are about our family conversations. I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where my parents thought (or at least pretended) that my ideas, my perspectives on things, and my solutions to problems were worth listening to. We talked about ideas or pondered questions at the dinner table and my six-year-old opinion and ideas were valid. If I ever had a dumb idea (and I am certain that I did), my parents never pointed it out to me; I was never told that my answers were wrong. As a result, I thought that I was somebody from an early age.

This book has 365 conversation starters that do not have right or wrong answers. Initially, it might be hard for you to facilitate discussions that do not have right answers; adults live in a challenging world where getting it right has survival value. Right answers are necessary to graduate from high school. Right answers are necessary to get college degrees. Right answers on job applications are necessary for employment. Right answers are necessary in the workplace to get promoted and earn more money. No wonder we come to place so much importance on right answers. But when it comes to binding the family together, being right is overrated. What is important is to value and affirm family members. If you can do this, you will soon have the family talking and listening to each other. Your children will look forward to coming to the dinner table because it is a special time when they can share their ideas, explore their creativity, and bask in the glow of your approval.

The conversation starters in this book are also designed to help your family members celebrate each other as unique individuals rather than focusing on their traditional family roles; i.e. parent, child, oldest, or youngest. This will require both humility and honesty from the adults at the dinner table. If you expect children to give honest, interesting answers, then the same is required of you. Let me share a personal example to make the point.

My mother was an elementary school principal. Our organized home was evidence of her skill set. However, my disdain for my scheduled bedtime challenged even her. In order to entice me into my bed, she implemented what I came to call our mother-daughter talk time. Every evening she would ask me questions about my day: What made me sad today? What exciting thing happened today? After my surface-level answers, she told me about her day. Since the line between being strong-willed and being defiant is thin, this evening ritual went on for years. During one of our bedtime chats, she told me a most interesting story. When she was eight years old, my age at the time, her brother went into her closet and cut the bows off all of her dresses. The story became my favorite. I asked to hear it again and again. After each retelling I had new questions: Were you mad at your brother? What did you do to get even with him? What did your parents do? The story built a bridge between us a common understanding of what it was like to be eight years old and to be sad and angry. My goal is to help you build similar bridges with your children. It is my hope that the following conversation starters will engage everyone in laughter, fun, and lively dinner talk.

Emily Hall