David Staal - Words Kids Need to Hear: To Help Them Be Who God Made Them to Be

Other Books by David Staal

Leading Your Child to Jesus: How Parents Can Talk with TheirKids about Faith

Leading Kids to Jesus: How to Have One-on-One Conversationsabout Faith

Making Your Childrens Ministry the Best Hour of Every KidsWeek (with Sue Miller)

To the men who attend Camp Paradise:
Make the end of your three days
the beginning of a new, incredible experience
for you and your child.
Worry less about what awaits you
on the other side of the river
and more about what you ll take home
when you go.

ZONDERVAN

Words Kids Need to Hear

Copyright 2008 by David Staal

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.

ePub Edition January 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-54365-7

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Staal, David.

Words kids need to hear: to help them be who God made them to be / David Staal.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN-13: 978-0-310-28098-9

1. Christian children Religious life. 2. Parent and child Religious aspects Christianity. I. Title.

BV4571.3.S73 2007

248.8'45 dc22

2007034457

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: NewInternational Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource to you. These are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of Zondervan, nor do we vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

08 09 10 11 12 13 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

CONTENTS

You will send several messages today.

Whether you intend to or not, youll communicate thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to other people. And because the book you have in your hands has Kids in the title, some of those interactions are likely to involve children. Maybe your own. Maybe grandchildren, nieces, or nephews. Maybe boys and girls you work with in ministry, sports, or education. Whatever your role, ask yourself: What messages will I send to my kids today?

Estimates of adult vocabularies stretch to more than 60,000 words. Throughout every day, I combine thousands of those words to form the messages I send. Too often, though, I dont carefully select which ones Ill use they just flow from me like water streaming from a faucet. At times, they are nearly random. But with so many words at my disposal, surely I can do better. In fact, I am determined to do exactly that.

Why should I care so much?

Because relatively simple messages can make really big differences to children. And while some might seem unimportant and are forgotten in a moment, others will remain with us for a very long time.

I learned this lesson a few years ago at the memorial ser vice for a friends dad. All who attended listened to three adult children share their memories of a great father and every memory included a specific message that had impacted that sons or daughters life. They shared their late fathers comments with details and passion that made you think they had heard his words just the night before.

As a father of my own young kids, two challenging thoughts entered my mind and have stayed there ever since: Under similar circumstances, what would my kids say about me? What messages do I sendthem that will make a difference in their lives?

My conclusion: If Im going to say lots of words to my kids and I will then I should make sure I say words that count. And so should you.

I dont suggest something as unrealistic as scrutinizing and carefully planning every syllable of the thousands of words that we speak. We could never do that. Instead, I suggest something much, much easier something that involves a mere handful of words.

After absorbing wisdom from mentors, soliciting advice from other moms and dads, observing parents who relate well to their children (and others who dont), reading books, and even asking elementary-through college-aged kids for their input, seven key statements emerged as the most important words kids need to hear. Yes, just seven. And in this book, each of those messages is assigned its own chapter. In my role as childrens ministry director of a local church, I often suggest to parents that they make these messages a priority. As parents, my wife and I have used these same phrases for years. And now I am eager to share that perspective with you.

While these seven statements are simple to share with kids, you will find that they can make a profound impact on childrens lives. Because they are also easy to forget, though, you must deliberately decide to speak these words. By making that decision right now, you can take full advantage of the remaining years of your kids childhood.

An aviation-savvy friend once told me that a one-degree course change near the end of a flight could land a plane on the runway instead of an adjacent empty field. A one-degree course change at the beginning of the flight, however, will ensure that the plane doesnt just miss the airport but the entire destination!

Much of navigating the challenges of parenting also seems to involve relatively small course adjustments. However slight, certain changes can significantly impact the direction kids will travel through life. And just like the aviators coordinates, parents words can make the greatest impact the earlier they are used. Small messages, used over time, can lead to big transformations.

And that time is now because God has placed you on a mission to make a difference in the young lives hes sent your way. Regardless of your tenure new parent, grandparent, or somewhere between this book will help you make adjustments to the conversations you share with children.

And if youll allow me to return to the aircraft analogy once again, consider this: when a pilot turns the wheel only slightly, the hydraulic systems magnify his or her effort, which causes large mechanical parts to move. The plane responds. Your messages, as small as they may seem, have a similar impact. To speak words requires little effort. But then any trust or respect youve earned, or authority you possess, magnifies their strength. And kids will respond. Of course you might not see that response immediately, but it will happen.