Kendra Smiley - Be The Parent: Seven Choices You Can Make to Raise Great Kids

Acknowledgments

T his has been a delightful project for me, partially because the person who deserved his name on the front of every book Ive written now joins me as the author. With John Smiley is an understatement. I can honestly say that the joy and success I have experienced as an author and a parent is largely because of the love and wisdom of my partner in those endeavors. Big thanks to my husband, John.

Thanks to our adult children (three sons by birth and two daughters by marriage) for their encouragement, their wit, and their wisdom. Their loving direction as adults has helped me to communicate more accurately and compassionately. Thank youMatthew and Marissa, Aaron and Kristin, and Jonathan.

Thanks to my parents and my parents-in-law who gave us life and created our normal, which had some definite positives.

Thanks to Kevin Howells, my manager, who came into our lives right on schedule. His insight, enthusiasm, professionalism, and encouragement have been a blessing to my writing, my speaking, and my family. Kevin, your unselfish assistance has allowed me to serve God in areas I would have never imagined. You have expanded my ministry.

Thanks to my friends at MOODY especially to my editors, Peg Short and Ali Childers, and also to my publicist, Janis Backing. Ladies, you are some of my favorites! Thanks, too, to so many others who have made my association with MOODY a blessing.

Thanks to MOODY Publishers and to FAMILY LIFE TODAY who cosponsored the research for this project. Thanks for believing in this book and for trusting us to carry out the mission of writing it.

I have often pondered the amazing fact that God has chosen me to do so many tasks that I have enjoyed so much. Being a wife and a mother and a speaker and an authorthese have all been wonderful assignments from Him. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (2 Corinthians 9:15) Thanks be to God for Jesus. I pray that this work may glorify Him and bless the families whose lives it touches.

And now

I would first like to thank God for giving me the opportunity to be a parent. At times it has been tiring and frustrating, but for the most part it has been a time of wonderful exhilaration. The task of parenting Matthew, Aaron, and Jonathan has been the most gratifying and fulfilling experience in my life so far. Thank you, Jesus.

Secondly, I would like to thank Kendra. She is the mother who gave up a very rewarding and enjoyable teaching career to be a full-time mom. Kendra brought love, laughter, and just plain fun into our home. She taught us all how to love other people. Thank you, Kendra, for being home when I was gone and for loving me when I wasnt too lovable. Thanks for using your talents as a writer to communicate these parenting principles and for allowing me to share in that process.

Thank you Matthew, Aaron, and Jonathan. You obviously made this book possible. Without you, we would have very little credibility. You three are a joy and a blessing in my life.

And finally, I want to thank my mom and dad who gave me a clear picture of the responsibilities required in parenting.

Introduction

11, Emergency. May I help you?

Yes, the frazzled voice replied. Im at the grocery store and my two children have just knocked down the toilet paper display!

I see. Is anyone injured?

Oh no, thats part of the problem. Wait, I didnt mean it like that. No, nobody is injured. The kids ran away as soon as things started falling.

So your children are lost? Is that the problem?

No, theyre not lost. I can hear one of them in aisle three, sorting through the cereal. And the other one must be in the produce section. I hear falling fruit.

Then your children are not hurt or lost?

No, but I am! Im hurt by the embarrassment of another grocery store fiasco and lost about what to do. Im having an emergency!

Have you been there? Have you personally experienced a grocery store fiasco filled with embarrassment and exasperation? Are you wondering if there is anything you can do to avoid repeating an incident like that again? Take heart. There is no emergency number you can phone, but you hold in your hands a powerful weapon to help you combat, and even prevent, the next emergency. Read on and become empowered to Be The Parent.

Everyone who has ever been given the privilege and responsibility of parenting has dealt with the challenge of preparing versus reacting, of being a proactive parent rather than a reactive one. Being proactive means being prepared.

My mother was someone who lived by the Boy Scout motto, Be prepared. This was a woman whose car had a trunk filled with emergency necessities. There was a flashlight, a blanket, a tool kit, jumper cables, a first aid kit, and a snow shovel in the extensive inventory. Now the fact that she drove no more than six miles from home and did not drive in the snow or after dark might suggest that she was overprepared. And truthfully, even with her obsessiveness about being prepared for any and every emergency, it really could not be done.