ROUTLEDGE LIBRARY EDITIONS: CHILDREN AND DISABILITY
Volume 11
DAILY LIVING WITH A HANDICAPPED CHILD
DAILY LIVING WITH A HANDICAPPED CHILD
DIANA M. MILLARD
First published in 1984 by Croom Helm Ltd
This edition first published in 2016
by Routledge
2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN
and by Routledge
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Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
1984 Diana M. Millard
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British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN: 978-1-138-96230-9 (Set)
ISBN: 978-1-315-64761-6 (Set) (ebk)
ISBN: 978-1-138-12490-5 (Volume 11) (hbk)
ISBN: 978-1-315-64787-6 (Volume 11) (ebk)
Publishers Note
The publisher has gone to great lengths to ensure the quality of this reprint but points out that some imperfections in the original copies may be apparent.
Disclaimer
The publisher has made every effort to trace copyright holders and would welcome correspondence from those they have been unable to trace.
The publishers would like to make it clear that the views and opinions expressed, and language used in the book are the authors own and a reflection of the times in which it was published. No offence is intended in this edition.
Daily Living With a Handicapped Child
DIANA M. MILLARD
1984 Diana M. Millard
Croom Helm Ltd, Provident House, Burrell Row,
Beckenham, Kent BR3 1AT
Croom Helm Australia Pty Ltd, 28 Kembla Street,
Fyshwick, ACT 2609, Australia
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
Millard, Diana M.
Daily living with a handicapped child.
1. Handicapped children Care and treatment
I. Title
362.4'88054 HQ773.6
ISBN 0-7099-1701-5
Printed and bound in Great Britain by
Spottiswoode Ballantyne Ltd., Colchester and London
Contents
This book is intended for the parents of a handicapped child and for those members of a wide range of professions who advise and assist them in the day-to-day care of their child. From the moment the parents are told that there is something wrong with their child and the manner of the telling has vast implications for their future handling of him they need continuous support, reassurance and practical guidance.
Many parents of normal children experience difficulties of management. Generally speaking, Westernised society lacks the basic education in caring for children which, in some cultures, is provided incidentally by large or extended families. Where there are several children in a family, the older ones are helping to care for the younger ones, who then take their turn in the care of nephews and nieces. Similarly, in the extended families found in many societies there are always young children to be tended, so that the young people learn about child care by experience. The modern nuclear family does not provide such opportunities to practise child rearing under supervision before having children of ones own.
Another problem is that because of social, educational and geographical mobility, young couples are apt to live some distance away from their own parents or to feel that their attitudes to child rearing differ. As a result they may face the problems of parenthood without the support of their own parents, or indeed of anyone of a previous generation. How much greater are the implications for the parents of a handicapped child? Their isolation and need for support is the more serious because even the advice of other parents of their own age may not be relevant to the care of their special child.
Because each child is an individual, and the nature, range and effect of a handicapping condition can vary greatly in degree from one child to another, the practical advice offered in this book should be interpreted in conjunction with detailed assessment of the childs personal requirements.
When parents have been told that their child is handicapped, the range and nature of their reactions can be very varied. The initial shock may cause negative attitudes such as anger and resentment or a detached feeling of helplessness, and may be followed by a period of grief. The parents will experience fears for the future, fear of the effects that the handicapped child will have on them and the rest of the family, and fear as to their ability to cope with all the demands which may be put upon them. Since individuals react in different ways to this kind of stress, it may be that one parent can deal with the present problems better than the other at various times. If this is the case, then that partner must be aware of the need to give extra support to the other at this time, and be willing to receive such comfort in turn. Mutual support and positive attitudes will lead to a constructive approach to the situation, and all speculation concerning cause and blame should be shelved in favour of looking to the future.
The handicapped child is a member of the family, therefore his future and that of the other members are interdependent. The early stages are not the time for making long-term decisions, but the time for the parents to get to know their child and to come to terms with the fact of his handicap. It is probable that the doctors involved have not given a very clear picture of how the child will develop. This is because it is not always possible to forecast the effect of certain conditions. For example, the extent of damage may not be detectable in a very young child, and in the case of many well-known conditions the degree of severity may not be clear. It also has to be borne in mind that new methods of treatment are frequently being discovered and one of these may be appropriate for the child at some stage in his life. Two major factors in determining the outcome of a childs condition will be his familys attitude to him, and the use made of available professional advice and services. To this must be added the personality of the child, which affects not only his own progress but the attitude of others towards him. As the child grows older, his potential abilities may become more predictable, but in principle his future should be met one step at a time.
The most natural place for a baby in our society is in his own home, being cared for by his own family. Professionals may have plenty of knowledge and experience to pass on, but it is the parents who will care for and teach their baby, and who have the special commitment that comes from close emotional involvement. All parents are vulnerable through such involvement but this vulnerability is greater for the parents of a handicapped child. Normal hopes and expectations are replaced by uncertainty and it may be that the parents are afraid to risk too much of themselves. But their commitment is indispensable to the handicapped child. In fact, most of his needs are the same as those of any other baby. The chief difference may be only that his needs last longer.
