Terri Mauro - 50 Ways to Support Your Childs Special Education. From Ieps to Assorted Therapies, An Empowering Guide to Taking Action, Every Day

WAYS TO
SUPPORT

YOUR
CHILDS

From IEPs to Assorted Therapies, an Empowering Guide to Taking Action, Every Day

SPECIAL

EDUCATION

TERRI MAURO

Copyright 2009 by Terri Mauro
All rights reserved.
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ISBN 10: 1-60550-112-3
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To Elena and Andrew,
for whom I learned these lessons;
and to Rick,
for always holding down the fort.

Contents

Introduction

Most books on special education focus on Individualized Education Plans (IEPs)helping parents learn the laws that govern IEPs and how to wield those laws strategically in meetings with school personnel. Thats important, and there will always be times when battles are necessary and unavoidable.

But IEP planning and enforcement arent the only ways to help your child have a strong special-education experience. Involving yourself in your childs education is important, too. There are many, many things you can do that will make a difference.

Ultimately, they may empower you to become more involved in the IEP process. And if you are already doing battle on that front, these fifty things can help you improve your platform for advocacy and engage in some positive interactions with school personnel.

Some of the fifty things to do in this book simply involve changes in your home routine. Others require interaction with teachers and therapists and caseworkers, and a few do deal specifically with those dreaded IEPs. All of them can empower you to be a part of your childs special-education team, whether youre just providing background support or actively working for change.

Many of these are things that parents of children in regular education do every day. They may be harder for you because your child is not at your neighborhood school, taking a bus to a place you rarely see. They may be harder because you are juggling so many other challenges and heartaches. They may be harder because you feel unequipped to educate your challenged child or to interact with educators who make you feel ignorant.

Still, among these fifty things, there will be at least one that you can do easily. Start with that. Then add another. Set modest goals. Anything is better than nothing. You are an important part of your childs special-education team. You are the expert on your child. All the small things you do can add up to a big change. As we know from watching our kids grow, little things mean a lot.

THE
50
WAYS

1 Give Your Child a Calm Start to the Day

As parents, we tend to focus on what the school is going to do for our children. How will they maximize learning potential? How will they handle behavior problems? Its a powerless feeling to know how important what goes on in that building is to your child, and how distant you are from the proceedings.

As it happens, though, you do have one very important power, and thats the power to get your child to school in the morning calm, rested, and ready to learn.

Its the duty of every parent, really, but all the more vital for parents of children in special education. Our kids are so much more likely to experience major stress during the school day from learning struggles or physical discomfort to social conflicts or behavior controlthan their regular-education peers. If theres a load of family discord on their young shoulders, too, the way will be that much harder.

In his book Kids in the Syndrome Mix of ADHD, LD, Aspergers, Tourettes, Bipolar and More, pediatric neurologist Martin L. Kutscher suggests thinking of your child as having a stress speedometer; when the needle passes sixty, theres going to be a meltdown. Things that happen during the day push that needle up, up, up toward the danger zone. Your childs a lot more likely to hit that bad patch if you start him out at fifty-nine.

Think about how mornings go at your house. Identify the things that cause your child distressgetting up early? uncomfortable clothes? food thats not a favorite? scattered backpack contents? bed-making? angry parental nagging?and change them.

Easier said than done? Sure. But doable, and worth doing.

The beauty of morning routines is that theyre a whatever works situation. Getting through that a.m. rush peaceably is such a high priority that all other rules and requirements can go out the window. This is not a time to argue with your child about what clothes shell wear or what foods hell agree to eat. Offer choices of mutually acceptable apparel. Serve whatever odd breakfast your child will consume (for my son, its often leftovers from the night before). Getting your child out of the house clothed, fed, and calm is more important than dressing her like a fashion plate or fixing a gourmet breakfast.

If organization is the problem, check the book bag the night before and make sure everythings in order. If early rising is hard, do absolutely everything the night beforeincluding sleeping in sweats or a T-shirt that can be worn to school. Should you be lucky enough to have an early rising child in your family, try putting that sibling in charge of waking all the sleepyheads up (including you, if necessary).

Getting your child to school in the morning with as clean a slate as possible is a way to support your childs special education that involves no meetings, no research, no interactions with school personnel, just a change in the way you do things. And as a bonus, youll get a fresher start on the morning, too.

Five Good Reasons to Do It

It shows respect for school and the work your child does there.

Your child will be more likely to succeed and reach goals.

Good mornings are a positive experience for the whole family.

Youll start the day feeling in control of your child.

Its a way to make a noticeable improvement in your childs school day thats entirely under your control.

Three Bad Reasons Not To