Mehta - The young atheists survival guide : helping secular students thrive

The Young Atheists Survival Guide

Helping Secular Students Thrive

Hemant Mehta

The Young Atheists Survival Guide:

Helping Secular Students Thrive

2012 Hemant Mehta

Cover design by Jenny Ashford

www.jennyashford.com

ISBN 978-1-939221-06-3 (ebook)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, Patheos Press .

This book is also available in a paperback version from Amazon.com, BN.com, and other retailers.

This book is dedicated to Courtney.

Contents

Notes

Acknowledgments

Over a decade ago, I saw August Brunsman give a talk about the Secular Student Alliance at a conference in Florida. I knew from that moment that I had to be a part of this movement. A friend once described August as someone who turned a part-time hobby into a full-time career and its that sort of dedication to this cause that has inspired so many of us fortunate enough to work with him over the years. I also want to thank his team at the Secular Student Alliance, including Lyz Liddell, Jesse Galef, and Ashley Paramore for all they do to support young atheists.

This is not a book that many publishers would take a chance on, but the great staff at Patheos has championed both this book and the Friendly Atheist website and I can't express my gratitude enough. Many thanks to Leo and Cathie Brunnick, Dan Welch, Patton Dodd, and Kathleen Mulhern. Jana Riess took this book past the finish line and her questions helped clarify and strengthen several of my arguments.

As I mention in this book, many atheist teachers have a tough time at work, not because they express their religious views at school, but because theyre atheists, period. Im fortunate that its not a problem I have to deal with thanks to an administration that cares about what I teach my students, not about what I write in my spare time. My colleagues, too, never let our religious differences get in the way of our friendships. Thanks to Vanessa Liveris and Jose Zaragoza for their constant support.

Andrew Seidel, Debbie Goddard, JT Eberhard, David Niose, Jamie Bernstein, John Mueller, Charlotte Abney, Todd Unger, Casey Smirniotopoulos, Richard Wade, and Michelle La Scola all offered incredibly helpful insights throughout this process.

My family has supported the work I do even when its not easy for them to do so; many atheists are not that lucky.

Finally, I extend a tremendous debt of gratitude to all the students who were willing to speak to me on and off the record for this book. They have fought the status quo when it comes to religion and many have paid a price for it. Still, the fact that they challenge their friends, classmates, family members, teachers, administrators, and communities is inspirational. If they can do it, so can the rest of us.

1: The Outcasts

The Backlash against Young Atheists

When Nicole Smalkowskis family moved to an eighty-acre ranch in Hardesty, Oklahoma, a small town with a triple-digit population, making friends should have been the least of her concerns. She was an athlete, after all, and when youre thirteen, playing on a sports team is supposed to be a guaranteed way to meet new people. In the fall, Nicole made the football team at Hardesty High Schoolshe was the only female on the rosterand she said the boys accepted her as one of their own. A few months later, her spirits high from that experience, she tried out for and made the girls basketball team.

On Friday, November 19, 2004, when the final buzzer sounded on the basketball teams first game, instead of shaking hands with opposing team members and saying good game, all the players on both teams came together and joined hands in a circle at center court. They, along with the referees, the coaches, and the spectators, all bowed their heads and began to recite the Lords Prayer. It was a tradition that caught Nicole off-guard.

As an atheist, Nicole had no intention of reciting the prayer . It wasnt just because of her personal disagreement with it, but also out of respect to the other students:

"I wouldnt do it because its disrespectful to me. I think its disrespectful to them [too]. Why would they want an atheist in their circle saying the Lord's Prayer? I mean, if I was a Jew or Muslim or Hindu, I would have a problem with that prayer.

Coach Ernest Cook urged Nicole to join the circle, but Nicole told him that she didnt believe in God. Exasperated, he told her, Go to the locker room then. Making matters worse, none of the adults even had the decency to tell Nicole to her face that she could no longer play. She would have to figure that out on her own.

The following Tuesday, when Nicole looked at the roster for the teams next game, her name was nowhere in sight. Was it a mistake? Would she play in the following game? Would she play at all for the rest of the season? The answer to all of those questions was a definitive no. Nicole was baffled. What had she done wrong? When she asked her coach for a reason, his response confused her even more: She was being punished for stealing another students sneakers and lowering team morale.

Of course, Nicole had never stolen any sneakers from anybody. She said she had borrowed sneakers from a teammate but later returned them (witnesses even saw the exchange). Furthermore, how could she have lowered team morale when she came to practices early to run laps?

Still, once the allegations went public, it was hard to stop other rumors about her from spreading. People found all sorts of reasons to pick on her, the least of which was the supposed theft. Many of the accusations revolved around her atheism. Nicole was harassed about her religious and political views by both students and teachers over the next few days. Students called her a devil worshiper.

After her family objected to the accusation of theft, a lawyer for the school district admitted that Nicoles lack of participation in the teams religious ceremony was one of the factors that led to her being kicked off the team.

One year later, Nicole was allowed back onto the basketball team. It is a testament to her own tenacity that she was even willing to return.

On Friday, November 18, 2005, nearly a year to the day since her last game, it happened again.

At the end of the game, another prayer circle formed at center courtthat practice hadnt changed from the previous year. In On the right half are the white uniforms of the Hardesty High School team. And then, a little further to the right, you can see Nicole standing alone outside the circle in a white uniform, her hand on her heart, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance (sans under God). Afterward, a teammate gives Nicole a hug and whispers something in her ear. According to Nicole, that student told her, God forgives you, and I forgive you.

The following Monday, Nicole was kicked off the team for the second time. She was accused of threatening to kill another player on the team. She wasnt given a chance to defend herself against the accusation.

Nicole and her family ultimately decided this was all too much to bear. Though she could easily have been eligible for an athletic scholarship down the road given her talent, this just wasnt worth it. Nicoles father took her and her younger siblings out of the public school system in Hardesty and began to homeschool them .

A year into her homeschooling, Nicole was in tears as she recalled how little had changed since she left Hardesty High:

I miss school but I dont wanna go back to that school. I tried going back to that school for two days, and I couldnt handle it There was a new kid there and hes like, Oh, I heard about you. Youre that dirty little troublemaking atheist.