Ellen Hopkins - Fallout

Also by Ellen Hopkins CrankBurnedImpulseGlassIdenticalTricks Margaret K. McElderry Books

MARGARET K. MCELDERRY BOOKS An imprint of Simon & Schuster Childrens Publishing Division 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the authors imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Copyright 2010 by Ellen Hopkins All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

MARGARET K. MCELDERRY BOOKS is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com. The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau
at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com . Book edited by Emma D.

Dryden Book design by Mike Rosamilia The text for this book is set in Trade Gothic Condensed No. 18. Manufactured in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Hopkins, Ellen. Fallout / Ellen Hopkins.1st ed. p. cm.

Summary: Written in free verse, explores how three teenagers try to cope with the consequences of their mothers addiction to crystal meth and its effects on their lives. ISBN 978-1-4169-5009-7 (hardcover) ISBN 978-1-4424-0945-3 (eBook) [1. Novels in verse. 2. Drug abuseFiction. 3.

Emotional problemsFiction.
4. Family problemsFiction. 5. Brothers and sistersFiction. 6. MothersFiction.] I.

Title.
PZ7.5.H67Fal 2010 [Fic]dc22 2009048408 For Orion, Jade, Heaven, Clyde, Eli, and Kalob, always in my heart. For Jason, Cristal, and Kelly, always my children, wherever they are. For John, always my own forever love. And with sincerest love and respect for my editor, Emma Dryden, who enriches my books with her wisdom and enriches my life with her friendship. With a special nod to Jude Mandell, whose keen insight allowed me to see the direction I needed to go with this book. Many, many thanks, Jude! RENO GAZETTE-JOURNAL RENOLocal author Marie Haskinss fifteenth novel, Submission, debuted at the number one spot on the New York Times bestseller list.

But this time, Haskins writes about a different kind of monster. This is a complete departure from my previous books, Haskins said. I have finally fulfilled a very old dream and taken the plunge into horror. It remains to be seen whether or not her fans will take the plunge with her, as the poems go beyond free verse, into the realm of formal poetry, specifically sonnets. Fortunately for Haskins, a number of words rhyme with suck. I have long wanted to write about vampires, but chose to wait until the subject was no longer a staple of every publishers list, Haskins said.

My vampires are sophisticated and totally sexy, but set in a future world. Sort of like Dracula meets Star Trek.

That life was goodbefore shemetthe monster,but those page flipswent down beforeour collectivecognition. Kristinawrotethat chapter of herhistory before wewere even whispersin her womb.The monster shapedourlives, without our evertouching it. Read onif you dare. Thismemoirisnt pretty. All about her.

Who she really is. (Was?) Why she swerved off the high road. Hard left to nowhere, recklessly indifferent to me, Hunter Seth Haskins, her firstborn son. Ive been choking that down for nineteen years. Why did she go on her mindless way, leaving me spinning in a whirlwind of her dust?

Her story, Ill try my best to enlighten you, though Im not sure of every word of it myself. I suppose I should know more.

I mean, it has been recorded for eternity a bestselling fictionalization, so the world wouldnt see precisely who we are my mixed-up, messed up family, a convoluted collection of mostly regular people, somehow strengthened by indissoluble love, despite an ever-present undercurrent of pain. The saga started here:

Kristina Georgia Snow gave me life in her seventeenth year. Shes my mother, but never bothered to be my mom. That job fell to her mother, my grandmother, Marie, whose unfailing love made her Mom even before she and Dad (Kristinas stepfather, Scott) adopted me. That wasreally your decision, Mom claims. You were three when you startedcalling us Mama and Papa.The other kids in your playgrouphad them.

You wanted them too. We became an official legal family when I was four. My memory of that day is hazy at best, but if I reach way, way back, I can almost see the lady judge, perched like an eagle, way high above little me. I think she was sniffling. Crying, maybe? Her voice was gentle. I wantto thank you, Mr. and Mrs.Haskins, for loving this childas he deserves to be loved.Please accept this small gift, which represents that love. I dont really remember all those words, but Mom repeats them sometimes, usually when she stares at the crystal heart, catching morning sun through the kitchen window.

That part of Kristinas story always makes Mom sad. Heres a little more of the saga.

It started with a court-ordered summer visit to Kristinas druggie dad. Genetically, that makes him my grandfather, not that he takes much interest in the role. Supposedly he stopped by once or twice when I was still bopping around in diapers. Mom says he wandered in late to my baptism, dragging Kristina along, both of them wearing the stench of monster sweat.

Monster, meaning crystal meth. Theyd been up all night, catching a monstrous buzz. It wasnt the first time theyd partied together. That was in Albuquerque, where dear old Gramps lives, and where Kristina met the guy who popped her just-say-no-to-drugs cherry. Our lives were never the same again, Mom often says. Thatwas the beginning of six yearsof hell.

Im not sure how we allsurvived it. Thank God you wereborn safe and sound. All my fingers, toes, and a fully functional brain. Yadda, yadda Well, I am glad about the brain. Except when Mom gives me the old, What is up with you?Youre a brilliant kid. Why doyou refuse to perform like one?A C-plus in English? If you wouldjust apply yourself Yeah, yeah. Heard it before.

Apply myself? To what? And what the hell for?

My underachiever status. Ive found the harder you work, the more people expect of you. Id much rather fly way low under the radar. That was one of Kristinas biggest mistakes, I think insisting on being right-up in-your-face irresponsible. Anyway, your first couple years of college are supposed to be about having fun, not about deciding what you want to do with the rest of your life. Plenty of time for all that whenever.Next page