Interstellar Patrol II
The Federation of Humanity
by
Harry Christopher Crosby
2005
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Interstellar Patrol II
The Federation of Humanity
Copyright 2005 Harry Christopher Crosby
"The Claw and the Clock" was first published in Analog in February 1971.
"Riddle Me This..." was first published in Analog in January 1972.
"The Unknown" was first published in Amazing in July 1972.
"The Throne and the Usurper" was first published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction in November 1970.
"The Trojan Hostage" was first published in Analog in July 1990.
Warlord's World was first published in 1975 by DAW Books.
"Goliath and the Beanstalk" was first published in Astounding in November 1958.
"Facts to Fit the Theory" was first published in Analog in November 1966.
"Cantor's War" was first published in If in May/June 1974.
"Uplift the Savage" was first published in Analog in March 1968.
"Odds" was first published in Amazing in July 1977.
"The Troublemaker" was first published in Astounding in July 1960.
"Bill For Delivery" was first published in Analog in November 1964.
"Untropy" was first published in Analog in January 1966.
"The Low Road" was first published in Amazing in September 1970.
"Trial By Silk" was first published in Amazing in March 1970.
"The Operator" was first published in Analog in March 1971.
"While the Northwind Blows" was first published in Amazing in November 1978.
"Leverage" was first published in Astounding in July 1959.
"The Sieve" was first published in Astounding in April 1959.
"Mating Problems" was first published in Astounding in December 1959.
"Hunger" was first published in Analog in May 1964.
"Contrast" was first published in Analog in December 1964.
A Baen Books Original
Baen Publishing Enterprises
P.O. Box 1403
Riverdale, NY 10471
www.baen.com
ISBN: 0-7434-9892-5
Cover art by Jeff Easley
Vaughan Roberts and his two companions had been trapped on a crime-ridden, chaotic planet until they bamboozled the population with a gigantic hoaxwhich brought them to the attention of the Interstellar Patrol, who were looking for a few good con men, capable of ingenious improvisation and adept at playing dirty tricks on the bad guys. The new recruits acquitted themselves admirably, so they naturally were given more tough nuts to crack, including:
Flummoxing an alien empire which has taken a number of human prisoners as reconnaisance for an invasion. This has a personal aspect, since the prisoners are from the planet which Roberts tricked into reforming....
Stopping a plan by not-so-good Samaritans who are pretending to cure a planetary plaguewhich they introduced to the planetwith a "miracle" drug which creates an addiction to the same drug, which the schemers will be glad to continue supplying for ever-increasing sums...
Not only rescuing some Patrol personnel taken hostage by fanatics who plan to execute them one at a time until their leader is released, but convincing other fanatics throughout the galaxy that the consequences of threatening anyone in the Patrol are too terrible even to think about....
Making sure that the rightful heir to a planet's throne escapes from captivity and overthrows the usurper. This time there's a complication: Roberts may be falling for the ruler's beautiful sister...
Interstellar Patrol II: The Federation of Humanity is a companion volume to Christopher Anvil's Interstellar Patrol (published by Baen Books in April, 2003). In this volume, the later adventures of the Interstellar Patrol agents Vaughan Roberts and his associates are recounted. Included also are all the various other stories which Anvil wrote in the same Federation of Humanity setting.
Contents
Interstellar Patrol
THE CLAW AND THE CLOCK
Iadrubel Vire glanced over the descriptive documents thoughtfully.
A promising world. However, considering the extent of the Earthmen's possessions, and the size of their Space Force, one hesitates to start trouble.
Margash Grele bowed deferentially.
Understood, Excellency. But there is a significant point that we have just discovered. We have always supposed this planet was a part of their Federation. It is not. It is independent.
Vire got his two hind ripping claws up onto their rest.
Hm-m-m ... How did we come by this information?
One of their merchant ships got off-course, and Admiral Arvast Nade answered the distress signal. Grele gave a bone-popping sound, signifying wry humor. Needless to say, the Earthmen were more distressed after the rescue than before.
Vire sat up.
So, contrary to my specific instructions, Nade has given the Earthmen pretext to strike at us?
Excellency, restraint of the kill-instinct requires high moral development when dealing with something as helpless as these Earthmen. Nade, himself, did not take part in the orgy, of course, but he was unable to restrain his men. It was the Earthlings' fault, because they were not armed. If they had been in full battle armor, with their tools of war Well, who wants to crack his claws on a thing like that? But they presented themselves as defenseless offerings. The temptation was too great.
Were the Earthmen aware of the identity of the rescue craft?
Grele looked uneasy.
Admiral Nade feared some trap, and ... ah ... undertook to forestall treachery by using an Ursoid recognition signal.
Vire could feel the scales across his back twitch. This fool, Nade, had created out of nothing the possibility of war with both Earth and Ursa.
Vire said shortly, Having given the Ursoid recognition signal, the Earthmen naturally would not be prepared. Therefore Nade would naturally be unable to restrain his men. So, what
Grele gave his bone-grinding chuckle, and suddenly Vire saw it as amusement at the ability of Nade to disobey Vire's orders, and get away with it.
Vire's right-hand battle-pincer came up off its rest, his manipulators popped behind his bony chest armor, three death-dealing stings snicked into position in his left-hand battle pincer
Grele hurtled into a corner, all claws menacingly thrust out, but screaming, Excellency, I meant no offense! Forgive my error! I mean only respect!
Then get to the point! Let's have the facts!
Grele said in a rush, Admiral Nade saved several Earthlings, to question them. They saw him as their protector, and were frank. It seems the Earthmen on this planet have a method for eliminating war-like traits from their race, and
From their race on this planet alone?
Yes. The planet was settled by very stern religionists, who believe in total peace unless attacked. They eliminate individuals who show irrepressible warlike traits.
Vire settled back in his seat. They believe in 'Total peace, unless attacked.' Then what?
Apparently, they believe in self-defense. A little impractical, if proper precautions have not been made.
Hm-m-m. How did the crewmen know about this?
They had made many delivery trips to the planet. It seems that the Earthmen call this planet, among themselves, 'Storehouse.' The code name is given in the documents there, and it is formally named 'Faith.' But to the Earthmen, it is 'Storehouse.'
Why?
These religious Earthlings have perfected means to preserve provisions with no loss whatever. Even live animals are in some way frozen, gassed, irradiated or somehow treated so they are just as good when they come out as when they went in. This is handy for shippers who have a surplus due to a temporary glut on the market, or because it's a bad year for the buyers. So, within practicable shipping distance, Storehouse does a thriving business, preserving goods from time of surplus to a time of need.