Mario Vargas Llosa [Mario Vargas Llosa] - Captain Pantoja and the Special Service

Wake up, Panta! Pochita is saying. Its eight oclock already. Panta, Pantita.

Eight already? God, Im tired, yawns Pantita. Did you sew on my new stripe?

Yes, Lieutenant, sir, Pochita stands at attention. Oh, excuse me, Captain, sir. Until I get used to it, honey, youre going to continue being my little lieutenant. Yes, it looks just fine. But get up nowdont you have an appointment?

Yes, at nine, Pantita is lathering his face. Where will they send us, Pocha? Hand me the towel, please. Hey, where do you think?

Here, in Lima, Pochita is looking out at the gray sky, the terraces, the cars, the pedestrians. Oh, it just makes my mouth water: Lima, Lima, Lima.

Dont be a dreamer. Itll never be Lima. What a pipe dream, Panta looks at himself in the mirror, knots his tie. If its only some city like Trujillo or Tacna Ill be happy.

How funny this item in ElComercio is, Pochita is making a face. In Leticia some guy crucified himself to announce the end of the world. They put him in a nuthouse but people took him out by force because they think hes a saint. Leticias in the Colombian part of the jungle, isnt it?

How handsome you are dressed up as a captain, my son, Mother Leonor puts the marmalade, bread and milk on the table.

Now its Colombia; before it was Peru. They took it away from us, Panta spreads butter on a piece of toast. Give me a little more coffee, Mama.

I wish theyd send us to Chiclayo again, Mother Leonor brushes the crumbs onto a plate and removes the tablecloth. After all, we were so well off there, isnt that so? To me, the main thing is that they dont make us move too far from the coast. Get going, boy. Good luck. You have my blessing.

In the name of the Father and the Holy Ghost and the Son W HO DIED ON THE CROSS, Brother Francisco raises his eyes to the night, lowers his eyes to the torches. My hands are tied, the wood is an offering, make the sign of the cross for me.

Colonel Lpez Lpez is waiting for me, miss, says Captain Pantalen Pantoja.

And also two generals, she gives him a funny look. Just go in, Captain. Yes, that one, the brown door.

Heres our man, Colonel Lpez Lpez stands up. Come in, Pantoja. Congratulations on that new stripe.

The highest grade on your promotion exam and by unanimous decision of the judges, General Victoria stretches out a hand, claps him on the shoulder. Bravo, Captain. Thats how you serve career and country.

Sit down, Pantoja, General Collazos is motioning to a sofa. Make yourself comfortable and hold on tight, so you can hear what youre about to hear.

Dont scare him, Tiger, General Victoria is waving his hands. Hes going to think were sending him to the slaughterhouse.

The heads of the quartermaster unit have come in person to notify you of your new assignment. That should tell you its got its problems, Colonel Lpez Lpez adopts a grave expression. Yes, Pantoja, its a rather delicate matter.

The presence of these chiefs is an honor for me, Captain Pantoja clicks his heels. Hell, Colonel, youre really intriguing me.

Want a cigarette? Tiger Collazos takes out a cigarette, a lighter. But dont just stand theresit down. What, you dont smoke?

You seefor once the Intelligence Service was right, Colonel Lpez Lpez pats a photocopy. Just like it says: not a smoker, not a drinker, no wandering eye.

An officer without vices, General Victoria marvels. Now we have someone to represent the military in Paradise, next to Santa Rosa and San Martn de Porres.

Dont exaggerate, Captain Pantoja blushes. Ive got to have some vices you dont know about.

We know you better than you know yourself, Tiger Collazos lifts a folder and puts it down on the table again. Your eyes would pop if you knew the hours weve spent studying your life. We know what you did, what you didnt do, and even what you will do, Captain.

We can recite your service record from memory, General Victoria opens the folder, shuffles note cards and forms. Not even one punishment as an officer and barely half a dozen demerits as a cadet. Thats why youve been selected, Pantoja.

From among almost eighty officers in the divisionno fewer, Colonel Lpez Lpez raises an eyebrow. Now you can puff up like a peacock.

Im grateful to you for the high opinion you have of me, Captain Pantojas vision blurs. I will do everything I can to live up to that confidence, Colonel.

Captain Pantalen Pantoja? General Scavino is shaking the telephone. I can hardly hear you. Youre sending him to me for what, Tiger?

You made a fine record for yourself in Chiclayo, General Victoria is leafing through a report. Colonel Montes was desperate to hold on to you. It seems the district ran like a watch, thanks to you.

Born organizer, mathematical sense of order, executive capacity, Tiger Collazos reads. He conducted the administration of the regiment with efficiency and real inspiration. My God, that half-breed Montes fell in love with you.

So much praise mixes me up, Captain Pantoja lowers his head. Ive always tried to do my duty, nothing more.

What service? General Scavino lets out a horse laugh. Look, Tiger, neither you nor Victoria can pull my leg. Im no fool.

O.K., lets take the bull by the horns, General Victoria seals his lips with a finger. This business demands the utmost secrecy. Im talking about the mission thats going to be entrusted to you, Captain. All right, let the cat out of the bag, Tiger.

In brief, the troops in the jungle are screwing the local women, Tiger Collazos takes a breath, blinks and coughs. There are rapes all over the place and the courts cant handle them all. The entire Amazon District is up in arms.

They bombard us daily with dispatches and accusations, General Victoria is plucking at his beard. And protest committees arrive from even the most out-of-the-way little towns.

Your soldiers are dishonoring our women, Mayor Paiva Runhu squeezes his hat and loses his voice. Just a few months ago they molested my dear sister-in-law and last week they almost raped my own wife.

No, not my soldiersthe countrys soldiers, General Victoria is making pacifying gestures. Calm down, calm down, Mr. Mayor. The Army sincerely regrets your sister-in-laws misfortune and will do what it can to compensate her.

And do they call rape a misfortune nowadays? Father Beltrn gets rattled. Because thats what it was: rape.

Two uniformed men grabbed Florcita as she was coming from the farm and they mounted her right there in the middle of the road, Mayor Tefilo Morey bites his nails and hops up and down in place. With such good aim that now shes pregnant, General.

Miss Dorotea, youre going to identify those criminals for me, growls Colonel Peter Casahuanqui. No crying, no crying; youll see how Im going to fix this.

You think Im going to go outside? sobs Dorotea. Me, all alone, in front of all those soldiers?

Theyre going to march right by here, in front of the guardhouse, Colonel Mximo Dvila is hiding behind the iron railing. Youre going to peek out at them through the window and as soon as you spot the brutes, youre going to point them out to me, Miss Jess.

Brutes? Father Beltrn spits. Wretches, curs, imbeciles, Id say. To subject Mrs. Asunta to such infamy! To tarnish the uniform that way!

My servant, Luisa Cnepa, was violated by a sergeant, and then by a corporal and later by a private, Lieutenant Bacacorzo is cleaning his glasses. She must have liked it or something, Commander, but one thing we can be sure of now is that shes turned into a prostitute by the name of Knockers and has some queer they call Chameleon for a pimp.