Danny Wallace - Are You Dave Gorman?

Contents

ABOUT THE BOOK

Dave Gorman and Danny Wallace are best friends, flatmates and drinking partners. One legendary night in the pub the pair had an argument. Dave thought there must be hundreds of people in the world who shared his name. Danny didnt. They were drunk. Five hours later they were on a train to Scotland...

That morning, they unwittingly kick-started an uncontrollable adventure that would take them around the world, finding and meeting complete strangers with only one thing in common they were all called Dave Gorman too.

During their six month odyssey, Dave and Danny got caught in a tornado in New York, they lost their shoes in Norway and caused a security alert at an Israeli airport. They met greenkeepers, booksellers, carpetfitters, gurus, policemen, film stars and a semi-retired lighthouse technician.

They appered on page 3 of The Sun and they were front page news in Denmark. They were even asked to make a TV show about their adventure.

They met no one else called Danny Wallace.

The result of their travels is this book. A true story of obsessed flatmates and of a worldwide quest to find people who could say Yes to that eternal question... Are You Dave Gorman?

When Danny Wallace bet Dave Gorman he couldnt find 54 other people called Dave Gorman, neither of them could have imagined this daft quest would become a theatre show, a TV series and a book. Or could they? After all, Wallace is a journalist, and Gorman is a Bafta-winning comedian whos written for Mrs. Merton. However this trivial pursuit takes comedy and journalism to an altogether different level. Their madcap odyssey covered 25,000 miles, carrying them to Italy, Israel and the Channel Islands. They lost their shoes in Norway. They were caught in a tornado in New York. They appeared on page three of The Sun, and became front-page news in Denmark, without even going there. They met a carpet fitter, a semi-retired lighthouse keeper and the assistant manager of East Fife football club, all called Dave Gorman, and an American actor who played a character called Dave Gorman in a film. The end result of this spectacularly pointless adventure is a warm, funny, life-enhancing book about absolutely nothing

The Guardian.

A magnificent tale of obsession and adventure

The Independent

heightens an elegantly simple concept to the peak of absurdity, as a drunken boast leads to obsession, betrayal, exhilarating victories, devastating setbacks and maxed-out credit cards. In a way, we are all Dave Gorman an international sensation a magnificent docu-comedy a true story thats as simple and accessible as it is maddeningly addictive

Time Out New York

This is a much better book about why boys are how they are than Men are from Mars Women are from Venus

Jenny Colgan

Are You Dave Gorman? is the oddly touching story of how comic Dave Gorman went in search of all the worlds other Dave Gormans its the very frivolousness and absurdity of Are You Dave Gorman? that makes it so boyishly likeable

Amazon.co.uk

You would think, much like the poor chaps at school with the surnames Bates, Pratt and Smallcock, Mr. Gorman would positively shun publicity, or at the very least, come up with a more public-appeasing moniker. But no, the impressively mutton chopped comic had to go and make a bet with his best mate Danny Wallace, that he could find someone else with his daft name. This was played out, week-by-week in Gormans gently pleasing, but genuinely funny BBC2 series, but its retelling on pages of flattened twig takes nothing away from the writers friendly style or indeed the humour inherent in the appealingly daft situation. This is one trivial piece of nonsense that comes with recommended stamped all over it

FHM magazine

Nick Hornby may have explored the idea of men bringing security to their lives through obsessive devotion to music or football, but this raises the stakes to the nth degree. Its the sheer madness of the quest that proves the compelling hook, complemented by the authors lightness of touch and quickness of pace. And, of course, it is funny too. Above all, though, this is a cracking adventure and one which anyone can enjoy, even if youve never met a Dave Gorman

Chortle.co.uk

Youll like this so much you may want to change your name to Dave Gorman

Big Issue

What starts out as a drunken bet grows into an existential odyssey and a life affirming, heart-warming chapter in the history of English eccentricity

Independent on Sunday

Gorman is becoming the Bill Bryson of stand-up

Sunday Times

PROLOGUE

Hello. My names Dave Gorman.

Throughout this book, Ill be writing in this bold, rather confident typeface.

Hello. My names Danny Wallace. And Ill be writing in this relaxed, more elegant font.

Now, Danny Wallace isnt really a name youre going to see all that much in this book, so if I were you, Id go back and read it again.

A little while ago, Danny and I

Thats me.

set off on a journey that should never really have happened. It was something that would take us tens of thousands of miles around the world, meeting dozens of strangers, all of whom have one vital thing in common.

But Im sure youll work out what that is as you read on

The most worrying thing about the book you are about to read is that it is true. Entirely, painfully true.

Read the book. Pity us. And then pray that it never happens to you.

Or, follow in our footsteps and do it for yourself.

No, dont do that.

Thank you.

Dave Gorman & Danny Wallace, St. Tropez, 2001

Chapter 1

HARROW BOYS

IF IM TO be regarded as an authority on anything and I hope that one day I am I would guess it would be on the subject of flatmates. Ive had my fair share, and probably yours, too.

Ranging from the freakish to the unutterably dull, more people have bought me a pint of milk than they have a pint of lager, and thats the way I like it.

There was Tony the Greek, for example; a man whose nickname stemmed not from a shady gangster background but from the fact that his name was Tony and he came from Greece. Im quite proud of the fact that it was me who came up with the name. Before then, hed just been Tony, which, to be honest, made him sound a bit common.

Tony would buy fishburgers from the chip shop down the street and fill every spare shelf in the fridge with them. He was a fan of what I believe polite society might term comical cigarettes and would often emerge from his room surrounded by a haze of smoke and an exotic smell, take a fishburger from the fridge, and then head back to his room where he would sleep for most of the day and night. When occasionally he would leave the flat, hed only go as far as Tesco, where he would prove their perfect customer and fall for each and every multibuy deal they had going. We might be two boys sharing a flat, but as far as Tony the Greek was concerned , as long as you were saving a fiver in the process, you could never have enough tampons.

I didnt stay in that flat for long.

I have lived in a house full of Norwegians and a man called Janush who would often be mistaken for George from Seinfeld. I have shared a flat with eight musicians, with two fashion designers, with a bouncer called Big Al, and, variously, three dogs, a stoat and six fish.