Hall - The Share Club

Z ENA : Make yourself at home. Indicatingthewine: Drinks. V ICTOR : Am I the first? Z ENA : The others wont be long. Miles rang from the airport. Hes on his way. Abouttoleave: I wont be long.

V ICTOR : Dont rush off, Zena. Z ENA : Im half way through a story with the boys. Butshestays. V ICTOR : How are they? Z ENA : Tiring. Theyre fine. I cant wait to get a job, though.

V ICTOR : Come and be my nurse. Denise is leaving soon. Z ENA : Victor, Id hate it. I dont know how you can bear it, fixing up peoples rotten gums all the time. V ICTOR : It has its rewards. I tell my patients to lie back and think of England; and then I lean forward and think of Tahiti.

Z ENA : Miles wont hear of it anyway. V ICTOR : Thats not necessarily a good enough reason. Pause. This must seem all very small fry to him. Z ENA : And for you. V ICTOR : I look on it purely as social.

Z ENA : Miles likes to get information from whatever source he can. He just loves the financial world. V ICTOR , looking at a chair: This is nice. Z ENA : Yes. V ICTOR : You should let me restore it some time. Its a hobby.

Z ENA : I know. V ICTOR: Miles leads you a dull life, doesnt he. Z ENA : Well V ICTOR : He doesnt appreciate you properly. I can tell. Hes a fool, thats all I can say. Doorbellrings. Doorbellrings.

Ring me if ever you want anything restored. Z ENA goes. V ICTOR pours himself a drink. Z ENA returns a moment later with M AUREEN and W ARREN . Z ENA: Help yourself. Wont be long.

How do you get a four- year-old to sleep? M AUREEN : Lashings of drugs. For the mother. Z ENA goes out. Hallo Victor. V ICTOR : What are you doing here, Maureen? You never come. M AUREEN : Warrens mothers staying with us.

W ARREN : Dont often get a free baby sitter. M AUREEN : Warren signed me up but I dont think he ever wanted me to come to a meeting. I gather I pay over my twenty dollars a month like everyone else. V ICTOR : And the $200 initial deposit. M AUREEN : You didnt tell me we were into high finance, Warren. Pretendingtobeimpressed: Two hundred dollars! V ICTOR : That gave us two thousand to start with.

Ten members in the club that gives us another $200 each month added to the kitty. This is our ninth meeting, so weve put in $3,800. What are you drinking, Warren? W ARREN : Ill have a beer. M AUREEN : And what are our shares worth? V ICTOR: Garth will tell us that. At the end of the year, we wind up unless there is a majority vote to continue. But were doing all right.

M AUREEN: Warren doesnt even show me the minutes. V ICTOR : I wouldnt complain. Theyre deadly dull. W ARREN : Maureen doesnt know anything about shares. V ICTOR : Youll be in good company here. M AUREEN : I brought the paper.

V ICTOR : And rightly so. Hows the transport industry, Warren? W ARREN : Lay off, Victor. V ICTOR : Any celebrities as passengers this week? W ARREN : No. V ICTOR: Fancy having Ron Brierley in your cab and not asking him for any tips. W ARREN : He was reading. He read the whole trip.

It was years ago. Ive told you that a hundred times. M AUREEN : Ask him how the renovations are going. V ICTOR : How are the renovations W ARREN : Tie a knot in it, Maureen. V ICTOR : Fair enough. M AUREEN : If you want something done at your own place, dont marry Warren.

V ICTOR : I wont. M AUREEN: Hes not even doing it one room at a time! Bathroom, kitchen, and two bedrooms all in a state of chaos. W ARREN : Im waiting for the materials. M AUREEN : Waiting to get them at bargain price, you mean. Taxi drivers always claim they know someone in the trade. W ARREN : One of the guys has promised me most of it.

V ICTOR : Waiting for it to fall off the back of a building site, is he? M AUREEN : How about paying the right price and getting it finished! W ARREN : How about getting off your backside and giving me a hand. V ICTOR : They do say that renovating a house is one of the great stress factors in marriage. W ARREN : That why your wife left you? V ICTOR : Something like that. It was a very long time and a lot of money ago. Pause. W ARREN : Wheres the ? V ICTOR , pointing: Second on the right.

W ARREN goes out. M AUREEN : Well! Nice to have a night out! V ICTOR : Youll enjoy the meeting. Theyre fun. M AUREEN : Not if Warrens at them. V ICTOR : He leads you a dull life, doesnt he? M AUREEN : Yes. V ICTOR : He doesnt appreciate you properly.

Hes a fool. Thats all I can say. Pause. Ive often thought of popping in your place during the day M AUREEN : Lunch Thursday. Grannys taking them shopping. V ICTOR: Right.

M AUREEN : Think of some pretext. V ICTOR : Fair enough. M AUREEN : Ring first to check. V ICTOR: I always do. V ICTOR stands over M AUREEN to kiss her. W ARREN enters.
V ICTOR opens M AUREEN smouth to inspect her gums.

No problems there. Youre not likely to need my services for years. Gums dont start dropping till your forties. To W ARREN : Tell her to keep using the floss. Terrible job, gums. W ARREN : Good money.

V ICTOR : And rightly so. M AUREEN is about to light a cigarette. W ARREN : Maureen. Agnes doesnt like us to smoke. M AUREEN : Shes not here. W ARREN : Shell smell it.

Charles objects, too. M AUREEN , putting her cigarettes away with a bad grace: Is that the Charles from forty-two? W ARREN : Yes. M AUREEN : I didnt think hed come to a thing like this. V ICTOR : He looked after his mother until she died. Hes just stayed on in the place, thats all. M AUREEN : Hes not is he? Whenever Ive said Good Morning to him he seems to veer away.

V ICTOR : I dont think that would pass as definitive evidence of homosexuality, Maureen. I think hes just very shy of women. Much prefers his garden. M AUREEN: What does he do? V ICTOR : Lectures at the university. Economics. M AUREEN : So why isnt he rich? V ICTOR: Economists know where other peoples money should be put but not their own.

Ah! Speak of the devil. Z ENA is bringing C HARLES