Veronica Roth - Divergent

Divergent

Veronica Roth

To my mother,
who gave me the moment when Beatrice realizes how strong
her mother is and wonders how she missed it for so long

Contents

THERE IS ONE mirror in my house. It is behind

THE TESTS BEGIN after lunch. We sit at the long

I WAKE TO sweaty palms and a pang of guilt

I REACH MY street five minutes before I usually do,

THE BUS WE take to get to the Choosing Ceremony

I TRAIN MY eyes on the floor and stand behind

WHEN ALL THE initiates stand on solid ground again, Lauren

THE FIRST THING you will learn today is how to

SINCE THERE ARE an odd number of you, one of

THAT NIGHT I dream that Christina hangs from the railing

THE NEXT MORNING, I dont hear the alarm, shuffling feet,

I CRAWL ACROSS my mattress and heave a sigh. It

THE NEXT MORNING, when I trudge into the training room,

TODAY IS THE day before Visiting Day. I think of

VISITING DAY. The second I open my eyes, I remember.

THAT AFTERNOON, I go back to the dormitory while everyone

ITS NOON. LUNCHTIME.

AS FAR AS I can tell, the second stage of

WHEN I WALK IN, most of the other initiatesDauntless-born and

I BREATHE THROUGH my nose. In, out. In.

THE DOOR TO the Pit closes behind me, and I

I OPEN MY eyes to the words Fear God Alone

I DONT GO back to the dorms that night. Sleeping

TRIS.

I STAND WITH Will and Christina at the railing overlooking

HAND IN HAND, we walk toward the Pit. I monitor

THE NEXT MORNING I am silly and light. Every time

I PULL MY jacket tight around my shoulders. I havent

I HAVE ATTENDED Abnegations initiation ceremony every year except this

I AM READY. I step into the room, armed not

THE LIGHTS COME on. I stand alone in the empty

I WATCH TOBIASS face carefully as we walk to the

I TRY TO get Tobias alone after the rankings are

I LEAN HEAVILY on Tobias. A gun barrel pressed to

I WAKE IN the dark, wedged in a hard corner.

THREE DAUNTLESS SOLDIERS pursue me. They run in unison, their

ERUDITE AND DAUNTLESS forces are concentrated in the Abnegation sector

TOBIASS HEAD TURNS, and his dark eyes shift to me.

THE SHOT DOESNT come. He stares at me with the

T HERE IS ONE mirror in my house. It is behind a sliding panel in the hallway upstairs. Our faction allows me to stand in front of it on the second day of every third month, the day my mother cuts my hair.

I sit on the stool and my mother stands behind me with the scissors, trimming. The strands fall on the floor in a dull, blond ring.

When she finishes, she pulls my hair away from my face and twists it into a knot. I note how calm she looks and how focused she is. She is well-practiced in the art of losing herself. I cant say the same of myself.

I sneak a look at my reflection when she isnt paying attentionnot for the sake of vanity, but out of curiosity. A lot can happen to a persons appearance in three months. In my reflection, I see a narrow face, wide, round eyes, and a long, thin noseI still look like a little girl, though sometime in the last few months I turned sixteen. The other factions celebrate birthdays, but we dont. It would be self-indulgent.

There, she says when she pins the knot in place. Her eyes catch mine in the mirror. It is too late to look away, but instead of scolding me, she smiles at our reflection. I frown a little. Why doesnt she reprimand me for staring at myself?

So today is the day, she says.

Yes, I reply.

Are you nervous?

I stare into my own eyes for a moment. Today is the day of the aptitude test that will show me which of the five factions I belong in. And tomorrow, at the Choosing Ceremony, I will decide on a faction; I will decide the rest of my life; I will decide to stay with my family or abandon them.

No, I say. The tests dont have to change our choices.

Right. She smiles. Lets go eat breakfast.

Thank you. For cutting my hair.

She kisses my cheek and slides the panel over the mirror. I think my mother could be beautiful, in a different world. Her body is thin beneath the gray robe. She has high cheekbones and long eyelashes, and when she lets her hair down at night, it hangs in waves over her shoulders. But she must hide that beauty in Abnegation.

We walk together to the kitchen. On these mornings when my brother makes breakfast, and my fathers hand skims my hair as he reads the newspaper, and my mother hums as she clears the tableit is on these mornings that I feel guiltiest for wanting to leave them.

The bus stinks of exhaust. Every time it hits a patch of uneven pavement, it jostles me from side to side, even though Im gripping the seat to keep myself still.

My older brother, Caleb, stands in the aisle, holding a railing above his head to keep himself steady. We dont look alike. He has my fathers dark hair and hooked nose and my mothers green eyes and dimpled cheeks. When he was younger, that collection of features looked strange, but now it suits him. If he wasnt Abnegation, Im sure the girls at school would stare at him.

He also inherited my mothers talent for selflessness. He gave his seat to a surly Candor man on the bus without a second thought.

The Candor man wears a black suit with a white tieCandor standard uniform. Their faction values honesty and sees the truth as black and white, so that is what they wear.

The gaps between the buildings narrow and the roads are smoother as we near the heart of the city. The building that was once called the Sears Towerwe call it the Hubemerges from the fog, a black pillar in the skyline. The bus passes under the elevated tracks. I have never been on a train, though they never stop running and there are tracks everywhere. Only the Dauntless ride them.

Five years ago, volunteer construction workers from Abnegation repaved some of the roads. They started in the middle of the city and worked their way outward until they ran out of materials. The roads where I live are still cracked and patchy, and its not safe to drive on them. We dont have a car anyway.

Calebs expression is placid as the bus sways and jolts on the road. The gray robe falls from his arm as he clutches a pole for balance. I can tell by the constant shift of his eyes that he is watching the people around usstriving to see only them and to forget himself. Candor values honesty, but our faction, Abnegation, values selflessness.

The bus stops in front of the school and I get up, scooting past the Candor man. I grab Calebs arm as I stumble over the mans shoes. My slacks are too long, and Ive never been that graceful.

The Upper Levels building is the oldest of the three schools in the city: Lower Levels, Mid-Levels, and Upper Levels. Like all the other buildings around it, it is made of glass and steel. In front of it is a large metal sculpture that the Dauntless climb after school, daring each other to go higher and higher. Last year I watched one of them fall and break her leg. I was the one who ran to get the nurse.

Aptitude tests today, I say. Caleb is not quite a year older than I am, so we are in the same year at school.

He nods as we pass through the front doors. My muscles tighten the second we walk in. The atmosphere feels hungry, like every sixteen-year-old is trying to devour as much as he can get of this last day. It is likely that we will not walk these halls again after the Choosing Ceremonyonce we choose, our new factions will be responsible for finishing our education.