Silver - Breast cancer husband: how to help your wife (and yourself) through diagnosis, treatment, and beyond

No one should face breast cancer alone. But how does a husband support his wife when he may be feeling frustrated, sad, and angry himself? Author Marc Silver fills an essential niche with his book, Breast Cancer Husband, offering emotional support and practical advice to help men be compassionate caregiverseverything from tips for talking to children to a frank discussion of sexuality and intimacy.

Nancy G. Brinker, founder of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation

When cancer happens, it happens to the entire familynot just the person with the diagnosis. Marc Silver knows this andthank goodnesshas written an honest, informative and, yes, even humorous guide for breast cancer husbands. A must-read for every man whos learning to live with breast cancer.

Diane Perlmutter, CEO, Gildas Club Worldwide

A clear, concise crash-course that lists the best ways to help when a man sets out to support his wife through the ordeal of breast cancer.

William H. Goodson, III, M.D. breast surgeon and clinical research scientist, San Francisco

Breast Cancer Husband bravely and honestly discusses topicsincluding talking with your children about the diagnosis, the nuances of diagnosis and therapy, and intimacy issuesthat men need to understand to be helpful, supportive partners in the battle against cancer.

Mikkael Sekeres, M.D., staff oncologist, at the Cleveland Clinic Foundation and author of Facing Cancer

If the woman in your life has breast cancer, you will likely feel less alone, and more confident in your skills to support her emotionally and practically, after reading this book. Marc Silver deftly blends expert advice, personal accounts, and the latest research to create a lively and highly readable resource for men who love a breast cancer survivor.

Leslie R. Schover, Ph.D., professor of behavioral science, University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center

Marc Silver has written the book that every woman faced with a diagnosis of breast cancer will want her husband to read. Its honest, engaging, and inspirational. I will highly recommend it to congregants and clients.

The Reverend Debra W. Haffner director, Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Justice, and Healing

The only book of its kind, Breast Cancer Husband offers straightforward, honest, easy-to-read information that will help husbands and their spouses deal with this devastating disease. If only we had had Marc Silver as our mentor when we got the diagnosis of breast cancer with its maze of decisions and emotions! His book is truly a Godsend.

Allen and Linda Anderson, coauthors of Angel Cats: Divine Messengers of Comfort and founders of the Angel Animals Network

Indisputably, the crushing burden of breast cancer falls on the woman. Yet husbands soon learn that they too have plenty of picking up to do: the slack, her spirits, the house, the pieces. Marc Silvers book helps husbands cope.

Jack Burlingame, breast cancer husband and founding board member of the breast cancer group Men With Heart (menwithheart.org)

I read this book through in a single sitting, and I was immediately struck by the commonality of experience among all of us breast cancer husbands. As different and varied as our stories may be, we all share many consistent elements. That, I think, is what makes this book invaluable to any man who is faced with being a breast cancer husband. The knowledge that many other men have felt the same fear, uncertainty, sadness, and guilt when confronting this disease in their closest loved one cannot be overvalued. Example: Who knew there were other car criers? All this time I thought it was just me! There is no sugarcoating in this book: it is a sometimes brutally realistic look at the reality of living with cancer, with just enough science to make it informative and a liberal dose of gentle but very necessary humor. A must-have for any (reluctant) breast cancer husband. I only wish I had the benefit of this book during my rude introduction to the world of breast cancer.

Frank Sadowski, vice president, Consumer Electronics Merchandising, amazon.com, and breast cancer husband

MARC SILVER

Foreword by medical oncologist Frederick P. Smith, M.D.

Notice

This book is intended as a reference volume only, not as a medical manual. The information given here is designed to help you make informed decisions about your health. It is not intended as a substitute for any treatment that may have been prescribed by your doctor. If you suspect that you have a medical problem, we urge you to seek competent medical help.

Mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the author or publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book, its author, or the publisher.

Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.

2004 by Marc Silver

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

Rodale Inc. makes every effort to use acid-free , recycled paper

Michael Kellys quotation on page 75 is reprinted with permission from The Washington Post Writers Group 2001.

Sizing Up a Tumor on page 117 is reprinted from the 2003 Mammography Card with the permission of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

The information on cancer stages that appears on pages 118-119 is adapted with permission from www.breastcancer.org, a nonprofit organization that provides in-depth information about breast cancer.

Information used for the Glossary on pages 295-300 is reprinted with permission from the American Cancer Societys Breast Cancer Dictionary and from http://www.breastcancer.org/ Talking Dictionary.

Book design by UDG/DesignWorks

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Silver, Marc, date.

Breast cancer husband : how to help your wife (and yourself) through diagnosis, treatment, and beyond / Marc Silver ; foreword by Frederick P. Smith.

p. cm.

Includes index.

ISBN 1579548334 paperback

eISBN 9781605296043

1. BreastCancerPopular works. 2. BreastCancerPatientsFamily relationships. 3. BreastCancerPsychological aspects. 4. Husbands. 5. Caregivers. I. Title.

RC280.B8S4972 2004

Distributed to the trade by Holtzbrinck Publishers

24681097531paperback