P.O. Box 592
Never Name He Who Is Not To Be Named 2013 by Tim J. Finn
Olaus Wormius 2013 by Rich Bottles Jr.
Eat Shit and Die 2013 by Frank J. Edler
Ghost Load 2013 by D.F. Noble
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Introduction
Kevin Strange
My first encounter with H.P. Lovecraft was a game changer. I'd grown up with horror movies and books, having a particular affinity for the 90s splatterpunks in my teen years. But it was at the relatively late age of 18 that I was formally introduced to the Cthulhu mythos. The indifference of cosmic alien gods toward the human race was something I had never encountered in my years of reading and watching horror movies.
The cold, calculated way in which Lovecraft wrote the dingy, backwoods occult figures, and the cunning scientific minds of his academic protagonists as they did battle on either side of forces so cosmic that their very implication could drive men mad left me in awe.
It was with delight that some years later I discovered that Lovecraft allowed, and even encouraged others to write about his alien gods, his mythical locations, and his brave, occult fighting heroes.
Brian Lumley's Titus Crow series became a favorite of mine, and the term Lovecraftian Fiction entered my lexicon. Over the years, I've consumed a ton of it. From Lovecraft's own contemporaries like Arkham House founder August Derleth, and Robert Bloch to more modern names like Jeffrey Thomas and Wilum Pugmire, the latter of which was kind enough to lend us a beautifully poetic and haunting tale for this anthology.
One thing has remained consistent over nearly 100 years of Lovecraftian weird fiction: An air of pomposity. A literary snobbery. It's as though one is not allowed inside the Lovecraftian sandbox without the proper password.
Lovecraftian fiction takes itself extremely seriously, even back in the age when only pulp magazines saw it worthy enough to be published.
And let's not get it twisted. I love the pomposity, the snobbery, the feeling of exclusion. No other horror fiction feels like a private clubhouse as much as Lovecraftian fiction. It's part of the genre's charm and mystery.
But I'm here to crash the party.
I come from another club, another gang. I come from the Bizarros. Another, albeit much, much younger gang of horror sub-genre writers. A group that is almost the polar opposite of exclusive, pompous and snobby. We're the kids who take in the malcontents, the freaks and weirdos, the authors other writers just don't understand.
And you know what? We love Lovecraft, too! And we want to play in the sandbox. We have stories about the Elder Gods, of backwoods weirdos living on the outskirts of Arkham, who haunt the halls of Miskatonic University by day and scream wicked chants to unnameable forces in the dead of night.
This is a collection of Lovecraftian Bizarro stories. Without a doubt the weirdest Cthulhu Mythos stories you're ever likely to read. Throw out cannon, don't expect complete and total adherence to the rules set forth by nearly 100 years worth of brilliant Lovecraftian Fiction.
Anything goes in this book. Don't be surprised if the purist in you gets a little upset by the direction our authors have taken your beloved Genre. But give us a little slack, we're still young. We're the new kids on the block, and we want to tell you our version of Uncle Lovecraft's beautiful nightmares.
-Kevin Strange 6:46pm 6/24/2013
Editor's Note
S.T. Joshi, the leading Lovecraft historian, has called Willum Pugmire the greatest living Lovecraftian writer, and I couldn't agree more. It is nothing short of a tremendous honor to have him in my collection of mythos fiction.
Please consider the following story to be a sort of primer for what comes after. An example of all of the wonder and beauty that is modern mythos fiction.
Everything after this is all downhill. We bizarros take everything honorable and pure about Lovecraftian fiction and drag it down into the unfathomable depths, violently snogging it while it slowly suffocates. Its dying thought:
How? How could such vile, unwashed beasts do this to the most sacred form of genre fiction?
We'll show you how. Just keep reading....
The Quickening of Ursula Sphinx
W .H. Pugmire
They of the Air, Miss Pelt? Do you mean angels?
I smiled at the old fool and pretended not to be annoyed at his stupidity. Have you not read Ephraims second novel, In the Valley of Shoggoth ? He mentions these Outer Ones there, in the third chapter, wherein his narrator discusses the queer influence of mortal blood upon cosmic daemons of an alternative dimension.
No, no, came a voice behind me. They lurk between dimensions, my dear; quite another thing. I felt the shadow of his tall frame clothe me, and conjoined elements of ecstasy and fear caused me to shudder; and when Ephraim placed his hand onto my shoulder, I lowered my face, so as to kiss his pallid flesh. Thank you, Annette, your lips are ever-soft. No, I dont think our friend here has ever read any of my books. Literature really isnt your thing, is it, Alfred? Our friendship blossomed from other interests.
The older fellow chortled and winked one of his liquid eyes at me. I was one of three that Ephraim helped to escape from the Arkham sanatorium. Oh, that was an adventure, scuttling hunched over through those tunnels underneath the asylum, in thick darkness! Oh, you should write a novel about that!
Staying silent, I smiled at our host, who had indeed written such a novel about a similar incident.
Alfred here never got caught, unlike Schultz and Sunand. Those poor fellows linger there still, banging their heads on walls and howling at imagined shadowsunless they got lucky and are now extinct.
And you turned yourself in, Ephraim, you silly fool, the older gentleman informed us as he licked with a pale tongue at drool that began to pool at the corner of one mouth.
I did indeed. There are rare whispers to be garnered in a madhousesecret things furtively expressed. I had yet to be fully educated. It was there, you see, that I learned of They of the Air and found the inspiration for my second book. He looked at me and smiled. But you know the charms of the madhouse, sweet Annette, as can be testified by a perusal of your fantastic verse.
Apparently bored by the direction of our conversation, the older fellow left us. Its a weird idea, Ephraim, beings that cannot take material form without the aid of human blood. It makes little sense; for if these beings are beyond our known dimension, beyond cosmic law, surely they pre-date human existence. The component of our mortal liquid couldnt possibly have any significance.