Table of Contents
For more Humphrey adventures, look for
The World
According to Humphrey
Friendship
According to Humphrey
Trouble
According to Humphrey
Surprises
According to Humphrey
Adventure
According to Humphrey
Summer
According to Humphrey
To Humphreys unsqueakably
faithful fans everywhere.
And special thanks to Rita de Leeuw for her
invaluable assistance with this book.
The Worst First Day Begins
It was a quiet morning in Room 26, so quiet that all I could hear was the SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCH-ing of my pencil as I wrote in my little notebook.
Im writing a poem about the end of summer, Og, I squeaked to my neighbor, the classroom frog. (I am Humphrey, the classroom hamster.) Ill read you what I have so far.
Summer, oh, summer,
I hate to say good-bye.
Summer, oh, summer,
Must you end... and why?
Og splashed gently in his tank as I continued.
I loved summer days
At Camp Happy Hollow.
And now that theyre over...
I stopped because there was nothing more to read.
BOING? Og twanged. Green frogs like him dont say ribbit. They make a sound like a broken guitar string. BOING-BOING!
I havent finished it yet, Og, I explained. I have to find a word that rhymes with hollow. Wallow? Or swallow?
I stared down at the page again.
I loved summer days
At Camp Happy Hollow.
And now that theyre over,
I can hardly swallow!
Og dived down deeply in his tank, splashing noisily.
I dont think much of that line, either, I replied. Ill try again.
Just then, our teacher, Mrs. Brisbane, came bustling into the room, carrying a stack of papers. As usual, I quickly hid my notebook behind the mirror in my cage. As much as I love humans, some things are better kept private.
After all my years of teaching, I should have known by now that on the first day of school, the line for the copy machine would be out the door, Mrs. Brisbane said.
She stacked the papers on her desk and stared up at the chalkboard and the bulletin boards, which were bare, except for a list of rules in Mrs. Brisbanes neat printing.
Id copied those rules in my notebook while Mrs. Brisbane was down at the office and I intended to memorize them as soon as possible.
Mrs. Brisbane glanced up at the clock. School will start soon, she said, turning toward the table by the window where Og and I spend most of our time. In case you two are interested.
I am! I said, and I meant it.
Even though I was sorry that summer was ending, I was GLAD-GLAD-GLAD to be back in good old Room 26 again. After the last camp session was over, my friend Ms. Mac brought me back to the house where Mrs. Brisbane and her husband, Bert, live. Og and I spent a few weeks with them.
I love to go to the Brisbanes house, but it was so quiet there, I was looking forward to seeing my classmates again. Some of them had been at camp, like A.J., Garth, Miranda and Sayeh. But I hadnt seen some of the others for an unsqueakably long time!
The door swung open and in walked the Most Important Person at Longfellow School, Principal Morales. Mrs. Brisbane is in charge of a whole class of students, but Mr. Morales is in charge of the whole school.
As usual, he was wearing an interesting tie. This one had little books in many different colors.
Morning, Sue, he said to Mrs. Brisbane. Ready to go?
As ready as Ill ever be, she said.
He walked over to our table by the window. Guys, I hope youre all set to go back to work.
YES-YES-YES, I answered, wishing that he could hear more than just the usual SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK humans hear.
BOING! Og agreed.
Good, the principal said, glancing up at the clock. Id better be outside to meet the buses. Have a great one, Sue.
You too, Mrs. Brisbane said.
She hurried back to her desk and studied a piece of paper, then began muttering strange words like feebeeharrykelsey.
Goodness, were we going to be learning a new language this year?
Thomasrosiepaul.
Did she say Paul? I knew that word. It was the name of a boy who had come into our class for math last year.
I was about to point this out to Og when the bell rang as loud as ever. No matter how long Im a student in Room 26, Ill never get used to that noisy bell.
Mrs. Brisbane opened the classroom door and soon, students started to come in.
I realized right away that something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
Mrs. Brisbane smiled as the students entered.
Take a seat, she said. Any seat.
I climbed up high in my cage to get a better look.
Who are these kids, Og? I asked my neighbor. Ive never seen any of them before!
BOING! he answered, splashing noisily.
More unfamiliar students came into the room. One of them was a girl who whizzed by in her wheelchair. Another was a boy who was really tall. He was as tall as our teachermaybe taller!
Just take a seat, children. How could Mrs. Brisbane sound so cheery, knowing these students didnt belong in Room 26?
As the classroom hamster, I felt I had to squeak up.
Youre in the wrong room! I squeaked. This is not your room, go back!
Welcome, Mrs. Brisbane told the students. Take a seat.
Wrong room! I scrambled to the tippy top of my cage. This is Room Twenty-six!
Unfortunately, my voice is small and squeaky and I guess nobody heard me, because the students went ahead and sat down.
Mrs. Brisbane kept on smiling and nobody budged. Oh, how I wished I had a loud voice like my old friend Lower-Your-Voice-A.J.
When the bell rang again, my heart sank. Mrs. Brisbane is a GREAT-GREAT-GREAT teacher and pretty smart for a human. Why didnt she notice that her class was full of the wrong students?
Og? What should we do? I asked my froggy friend.
This time he didnt answer. I guess he was as confused as I was.
Hey, Humphrey! Its me! Hi! a familiar voice shouted.
Slow-Down-Simon raced up to my cage. He was the younger brother of Stop-Giggling-Gail Morgenstern, who did belong in Room 26. But she was nowhere in sight.
Now Ill get to take you home some weekend, Simon announced.
Go back to your own room or youll be late! I warned him.
Mrs. Brisbane told him to take a seat. Simon twirled around and rushed away, bumping right into a girl with bright red hair whose chair was sticking out in the aisle.
You should be more careful, Kelsey, he said.
You ran into me! The girl rubbed her arm. She probably got a big bruise. Ouch!
Whats happening just doesnt make sense! I told Og. I dont think I was making a lot of sense, either. It was as if the world had just been turned all upside down and Og and I were the only ones who noticed.
