Maggie Shayne - An Enchanted Season

November 1992, Flint, Michigan

YOU SOLD IT ? ALL OF IT?

Matthew stared up at his mother in blatant disbelief. Wasnt it bad enough that Dad had to die the day before Thanksgiving? That they had to bury him the day after? That their big meal on the day in between had consisted of deli meat, rolls, and about six casseroles brought over by neighbors and relatives?

She had to go and sell his stuff, too?

His mother blinked down at him. She seemed kind of in a daze, not all there, mostly numb. It seemed to him she could hear just fine, but what she heard wasnt making its way to her brain.

I had to, Matt. The money situation isntit isnt good.

Yeah, hed picked up on that much. He was twelve, not two. And he resented that his mother didnt seem to think he could understand things. He did understand. He heard and saw and understood. Dad had died broke. Hed racked up debts that Matts mom hadnt even known about. There was no money. There were payments due. And the funeral had cost a bundle. He got all that.

I know the money situation isnt good, Mom. And I could see selling the guns, the tools, the computer. But geeze, Mom, his clothes?

It was either sell them or give them away. And we need every penny right now. Christmas is coming.

And that was Mom. She wasnt worried about bills or taxes or losing the house or the car or even paying for the funeral. She was worried because Christmas was coming.

We dont need Christmas this year, he told her. Were not gonna feel like celebrating anyway.

Oh, youre so wrong, Matt. We need Christmas this year more than ever.

He rolled his eyes, but thought about his kid sister, Cindy. She was only six, and yeah, she probably did need Christmas. But he didnt.

There must be something you want for Christmas, Matt, his mother pressed on. One gift. One special gift that could make this time a little bit easier for you. There is something, isnt there? Tell me.

He pursed his lips, cleared his throat because he didnt want her to hear his grief in his voice. He was fine. But

Yeah, there is something. Or was. Dads hat.

His hat? She blinked, still blank, but a little less so. That silly felt fedora he was always wearing?

Matt nodded. He used to joke about that hat being my inheritance. Anytime we were doing anything fun, he would be wearing it. Dont you remember? It was likeI dont know, it was like his trademark, that stupid hat. It meant a lot to him. Remember how he wrote his initials in it in permanent purple marker when we went on vacation, just it case it got lost? He paused there, remembering the road trip, the theme park, the fun. And that hat, at the center of it all. I want Dads hat, Mom. Its a part of him.

His mothers dull, numb expression changed then. It changed right before his eyes. Her face crumpled, and a rush of tears flooded her eyes and splashed onto her cheeks, and then she lowered her head into her hands. Im sorry, baby. Iit went with all the other stuff. I didnt know. Im sorry.

Yeah, I figured. He sighed, wanted to be furious, but he couldnt stand to see her crying like that. Her shoulders were quaking.

How am I going to do this? she moaned. Im screwing everything up already and hes only been gone two weeks. How am I going to do this by myself?

Matt licked his lips, reached out, and put a hand on her shoulder. Its okay, Mom. Its just a hat.

Ill try to get it back, she said. It all went to a used clothing store, downtown. I can probably still find it.

Just dont worry about it. It doesnt matter.

Yes, it does, she cried. Matt, Im so sorry. I thought I could use the money to get you something nice for Christmas.

If he had to pick the moment when hed decided to hate Christmas forever, that would probably be the closest Matthew could come. That moment, right then. Matt hated Christmas. He hated the entire holiday season. It had taken his father away from him, and then it had doubled the blow by taking the only thing of his dads that hed really wanted. And yeah, it was just a stupid old hat. But it was his dads stupid old hat.

He hated Christmas. And he vowed that day, that he would always hate Christmas.

November 1992, Oswego, New York

Holly opened her eyes, and saw that she was in a place that was all white. Sunbeams spilled through the window like liquid gold, and angels stood all around her.