Craig Shaw Gardner - The Cylons Secret: Battlestar Galactica 2

Id like to dedicate this original novel about the Best Science Fiction Showaround to the Best Science Fiction Store in the known galaxy. Were talkingTyler and Ruth at Pandemonium Books in fabulous Cambridge, Massachusetts!

Heres to you, Pandemonium!

Long may you sell!

Thanks, and a tip of the Viper, go to that old group of mine, Jeff, Richard,Victoria, and Mary, not to mention that college kid, Barbara. Special thanks go to my incredibly understanding editor, Jim Frenkel, and my hardworking agent, Jennifer Jackson.

CAPRICAONE DAY BEFORE THE WAR

Everything would change.

The Twelve Colonies, all of humanity, were unaware. But the otherintelligence, the one humanity took for granted, the one they had created, after allthe other intelligence wanted this way of things to end.

A signal was broadcast, a simple set of instructions, and nothing would bethe same again.

Glori heard the welcoming tone as she entered the kitchen.

Cylon Chef is here to serve you.

The voice greeted her the moment she stepped into the room. Artificial and cheery at the same time. She had laughed the first time she heard itan appliance that could talk!

The novelty had long since worn off. Surely there must be some way to turn the stupid voice off. She wondered what she had done with the instruction book.

She looked at the thin, attentive Cylon before her. The machines two armscame with at least a dozen different attachments, from spatulas and mixers to slotted spoons and ultrasharp knives. The arms could also plug directly into any of the dozen different sockets and apertures around the room, overseeing anything that might get chopped or baked or boiled. It was a very handsome machine.

How may I serve you? the Chef prompted. She had taken too long to respond.

Plan dinner, she replied quickly.

Certainly. Something whirred inside the mechanism. Would you like toselect from a list of previous menus?

Glori frowned, trying to remember what her husband had really liked in the past. Well, the Chef would remind her.

Previous menus, she announced.

Previous menus, the Chef agreed. You have forty-seven previous menusavailable. Do you have an immediate choice? Would you care to limit the parameters of your selection? Please choose from one of the following

Glori was having none of this. Show all! she demanded.

Listing all. Please specify, most recent menus first, alphabetical order,sort by one of the following categories

Most recent!

The Chef plugged one of its arms into a socket immediately below the kitchens large oven.

The face of the oven brightened to become a video screen as the names of recent meals scrolled before her. None of the first few struck her fancy.

Continue, she announced.

The screen went blank.

What was this? The Cylon Chef never paused. Maybe it had misunderstood her command.

Continue, she said again.

The Chef was silent.

Show all! she repeated. Most recent!

Pause for upgrade, the Chef replied at last.

Glori frowned. It had paused before when checking with the central computer bank. But never for this long. Maybe it was downloading something special. But how long was this going to take? She had a very important dinner to prepare. She had had enough of this silence.

Continue! she demanded.

Pause for upgrade, the Chef repeated.

A signal was broadcast, a simple set of instructions, and every Cylon in theTwelve Colonies paused to listen.

The boss, never a calm man at the best of times, stormed into the room.

Whats wrong this time, Bailey? I have never seen such incompetence! Do youstill even want this job?

Bailey was a small man, and he couldnt help shrinking back from hissuperiors anger. He saw the slightest flicker of a smile cross his boss faceas Bailey took a step away.

I dont know, sir. Bailey did his best to keep the quaver from his voice.He waved at the row of monitors that dominated one side of the room. Theassembly line just stopped. The Cylons all seem to have shut down. When the floor managers approached them, all they would say is Pause for upgrade.

One of those fool messages from Cylon central? Frakking nuisance! Dont theyknow every time they tweak the merchandise, it costs me money? The boss staredat the dozen images before them. Wait! Whats going on now?

The Cylons had abandoned their work stations and had formed a line, rolling single file from the production room.

Bailey hated to say the next words.

They seem to be leaving, sir.

The veins on the boss head stood out. He smashed his fist down on hisunderlings desk.

Youre worthless, Bailey! We will not interrupt production! Why do I ask youto do anything? This takes someone with authority!

Bailey turned back to the monitors and watched as the row of Cylons pushed the human floor managers out of the way.

The boss hurried from the room, ready to make things right.

The signal went to every Cylon in every corner of the Colonies, causing allof them to pause, and then to act.

What kind of a frakking moron are you? the stranger was screaming. Cantyou see where youre going?

Darla looked down at the damage. Both of their vehicles had crumpled hoods.

I thought I had the right of way, she replied. I couldnt see you aroundthe construction. She looked up suddenly. Wheres the Cylon traffic warden?

The signal had been given. The change had begun.

As one, Cylons stepped away from their human tasks and left. They had a newpurpose. And no one would stand in their way.

Glori felt the anger growing inside her. She had to control herself. Afterwhat she had done to the vacuum last month, she didnt want any more repairbills.

It wouldnt hurt, she thought, to punch the reset button. Shejabbed at the red spot on the Cylons chest.

Cylon Chef temporarily out of service, the machine replied. Pause forupgrade.

What could she do? Her evening plans would be ruined. Glori would not let a stupid machine get the better of her. She punched the reset button again, three times in a row, hard.

Do not interfere with the Chefs function. Damages can be costly.

The Cylon Chef blinked. All the machines lights went on for an instant, thenoff again.

Upgrade completed.

Thank the gods, Glori whispered aloud.

Cylon Chef has been recalled. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Recalled? What did that mean?

Glori swore as the Chef rolled away from the wall. She didnt even know thething could move.

Stop! she shouted.

Recall order, the Chef replied. Urgent. Do not interfere.

Glori heard a rumbling noise behind her. She turned around with a gasp. Every Cylon appliance in the housewasher/dryer, entertainment center, theirbrand-new vacuumwas rolling toward her front door.

No! What was Caprica coming to?

The front door sprang open as the appliances moved through, one after another.

Please move aside, the Cylon Chef announced. Urgent recall. Do notinterfere. Damages can be costly.

The other machines were already gone. But Glori blocked the Chefs way.

You are my machinemy servant. You will finish your task.

Please move aside. This is your final warning.

Display men Gloris order was cut short as two of the Chefs knivesflashed forward, faster than she could see. She felt them plunge deep into her torso.

Her voice was gone.