Dan Greenburg - Lights, Camera... Liftoff!

Your Ride Is HereAre You Ready?

Ploo, youre my best nonhuman girlfriend, said Lily. Actually, youre my only nonhuman girlfriend. Im so sad youre leaving, I cant stand it.

Ploo took the hand of her new friend from Earth. Lilys skin was an ugly pinkish color, not the lovely dark gray of Looglings. Her hand had five fingers instead of the normal three. Lily also had strange yellow hair and no antenna growing out of her head. But Ploo loved her just the same.

And you are my very best human friend, said Ploo. I cannot stand it, either. But I shall come back to see you.

Promise? said Lily. Cross your heart and hope to die?

I certainly do not hope to die, said Ploo. But I promise.

Ploo and her two brothers had crash-landed on Earth several weeks earlier. Their spaceship was busted. But a new one was coming for them. It would touch down any minute now.

What about me and Klatu? asked Lek, Ploos brother. Are you glad that we are leaving?

Of course not, silly, said Lily. Im sad that all of you are leaving. I wish I could come with you.

Oh, then why not come? asked Klatu. It would be so cold!

You mean cool? said Lily.

No, cold, said Klatu. On the Darkside of Loogl, we almost never see the sun.

It was late night in the Nevada desert. The kids and their human friend Jo-Jo waited nervously in Jo-Jos pink Cadillac. A message on Ploos tiny looglphone had come through a few hours earlier. It said a spaceship was headed to Earth to pick them up tonight. Lily had come along to say goodbye.

They waited in silence. The heat of the day was gone. The sand was cool instead of burning hot. The sad yip-yip-arooo of a lonely coyote made Lek shiver.

What was that? he whispered.

Just an ol coyote, said Jo-Jo.

Am I afraid of ol coyotes? whispered Lek.

Darlin, youre afraid of everything, said Jo-Jo. But that ol coyote aint hardly more than a puppy dog. He wont hurt you. Ploo, what time is the spaceship supposed to land?

Around midnight, said Ploo.

Jo-Jo glanced at her watch. Well, its nearly one-thirty now, she said. I wonder whats happened to it.

Maybe it got off the wormhole at the wrong universe, said Klatu.

Maybe it got swallowed up by the mother ship from planet Graceland, said Lek. Maybe the pilot is now being eaten alive by evil Elvises.

Klatu, Lek, and Ploo had defeated an invasion of alien Elvises in Las Vegas. It still made Lek nervous to think about all those sideburns and sequins.

In the black sky above them, they spotted a bright white light.

Look, Aunt Jo-Jo! cried Lily. Is that the spaceship? Or is it Venus? Venus is a planet that looks like a star in the night sky.

Whatever it is, said Jo-Jo, Id say its coming in for a landing.

The bright white light was getting closer.

Unless Venus has small blue and green lights, said Lek, that is the spaceship.

Lek was right. It was definitely a spaceship.

The spaceship was silver and round and flat. It looked like a large pot cover. It didnt make a sound as it came closer and closer. When it was nearly on the ground, it kicked up a huge cloud of dust and sand.

Suddenly a pair of bright headlights came bouncing over a hill.

Oh no! said Lily.

Its a jeep from Area 51! said Jo-Jo.

We are doomed! cried Lek.

Danger! esped Ploo to the pilot of the spaceship. She hoped he was close enough to pick up on her thoughts.

The jeep skidded to a stop a few yards away. Searchlights stabbed the night. Four guards jumped out of the jeep.

The air was filled with dust and sand. It was hard to see or breathe.

Take off now or they will capture you! Ploo esped.

With a huge burst of swirling sand, the spaceship rose straight up. Then, without a sound, it vanished into the night.

Klatu, Lek, Ploo, Lily, and Jo-Jo cheered.

Why are we cheering? asked Klatu. That was the spaceship we have been waiting for. And it has just taken off without us.

Klatu is right, said Lek. We are varnas to cheer.

The four guards stared up into the dark sky. They looked upset. Then one of them walked over to the pink Cadillac. Even though it was dark out, he wore sunglasses with mirrored lenses. Klatu, Lek, and Ploo scrunched down and hid under the seats.

What are you people doing here, maam? he asked Jo-Jo.

Just watchin the UFO, said Jo-Jo.

What UFO is that, maam? said the guard.

The one that almost landed and took off again, said Jo-Jo.

That was no UFO, said the guard. That was a weather balloon.

Whatever you say, hon, said Jo-Jo.

This is a secured area, said the guard. You may not remain here.

Oh, hogwash, said Jo-Jo. This is the desert. Were not breakin any laws.

If you dont leave right away, said the guard, Ill have to take you back to my superior officer.

You mean Major Paine? said Jo-Jo. Hes an old buddy of mine. I used to be a mechanic at Area 51.

Lily stayed quiet. Major Paine was her daddy. She didnt think she should mention it, though.

Well, you arent a mechanic there now, so move along, said the guard.

Its because of folks like you that I quit workin at Area 51, darlin, said Jo-Jo. She turned on the engine and drove away.

That was a close one, said Lek. If he had looked under the seats, he would have seen us.

We have missed our ride back to planet Loogl, said Ploo.

Im sure itll come back for yall soon, said Jo-Jo.

Maybe itll even come back tomorrow night, said Lily.

Maybe it will, said Lek. And maybe it will not. But when it does, the same thing will happen. We are doomed to stay on Earth forever!

The Gamma Wormhole

We shall never again see our precious planet Loogl, said Lek as they drove through the desert. He stared up at the black sky, where the spaceship had disappeared. We shall never again eat patkas and karpas at the beginning of Snargleploom and watch the six moons of Loogl rise over the Darkside. He sighed.

You know, Lek may be right, said Jo-Jo. It might really be too dangerous for yall to meet up with that spaceship so close to Area 51.

Maybe another place will be safer, said Ploo.

Maybe Las Vegas, said Lek. No one will even notice a spaceship landing there. They thought the Elvis invasion was a stage show.

The wind started up, blowing tumble-weeds across the road. In the ghostly light of the moon, they looked like living things.