Edward L. Smith - Short Stories to Improve Your English

Short Stories to Improve Your English

Edward L. Smith

C opyright Edward L. Smith

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Short Stories to Improve Your English

T he class clown and the class comedian

The door opened, and Mr Davies poked his head through the doorway. The class rose to their feet; such respect for our teachers was the expectation in our school, but Mr Davies could have commanded respect whatever school he taught in. Tall and muscular, he had to stoop slightly to fit through the doorway. Once inside the room, he could arch his back to return to his full frame.

G ood morning class , he said, with an arched eyebrow, expectantly waiting the answer.

B ut before we could chant back the reply, the boy in the seat next to me quickly said, Morning, Mr D, how's the weather up there?

T he whole class roared with laughter. I myself doubled over, tears streaming from my eyes. Back then, that joke was original to me, and I suspect most of my classmates. Even Mr Davies cracked a grudging smile, rewarding my friend's audacity to make fun of his height.

N owadays, that joke is cliched. I doubt there are many tall people who aren't familiar with it. At the time I thought my friend had the makings of a comedian. I'm going to be the next Ali G, he would brag. It wasn't an isolated incident. School assemblies were disrupted, other teachers mocked, pranks played in the playground, and I found it all hilarious.

U nfortunately, class clowns are common; comedians are somewhat rarer. They share a common cause, wanting to make others laugh, and it's natural to assume that if one can do so in a classroom, they can do so in a dimly lit basement of a bar during a comedy festival. Jokes in the classroom are spur of the moment, spontaneous things however. It's the element of surprise that makes them funny. If you go to a comedy performance you are expecting the comedian to do something funny to make you laugh. Surprise isn't the only challenge, there are various others dimensions to performing comedy. Simply having the audacity to repeat a joke off the internet to a teacher doesn't compare.

C lass clowns don't normally excel in class either. Seeking attention from others tends to mean they don't learn as much. While my friend was busy being a clown, I was busy learning. The great irony is that with my greater grasp of the English language, I am now the one making a living from jokes, writing for comedians and satirical news sites. Perhaps the route to comedy isn't saying every funny thing that comes to mind but sitting down and listening once in a while.

R eading Comprehension Questions

E xplain the joke used in paragraph 3?

W hat image does the expression 'doubled over' convey?

W hat is the meaning of the phrase, 'making a living'?

P lease provide a definition for the word 'audacity'.

W hat is the message delivered in the final paragraph of the piece?

Delivery boy

T he music blaring out of the bars faded into the background behind the thump of the blood pumping through Daniel's veins. This girl was stunning, he thought, as she led him through the crowded streets of Ho Chi Minh city. Her grip on his hand was firm, she pulled him with purpose, weaving him between groups of people standing around drinking. She's certainly keen.

I t wasn't the first time he'd gone home with a girl during his stay in Ho Chi Minh, but those had been rather more timid affairs. Those girls had been sweet, they liked the attention, they played hard to get, and then they both played the game until they shared the inevitable victory. The girl in front of him was different. She knew what she wanted and she had taken it.

H ad the she been local Daniel would have been wary of a girl like this on a street like Ho Chi Minh. There were plenty of girls on this street that would be just as keen to sleep with him, but would demand a price for it. This girl however, was an American girl named Stephanie, from California. She had not been modest about her privileged upbringing in the bar.

T hey arrived outside a decaying wooden door, tucked to the side of a bar. An odd choice for a place to stay for a rich girl, he thought. He had expected from the way the girl talked that she would have stayed in one of the city's larger hotels. It was however, just a few minutes walk from the main street, he reasoned. Perhaps she was a girl less concerned with a brand name and facilities, and more concerned with location. That was the Stephanie he knew, he decided.

S he led him threw the doorway and up a set of stairs. His spine tingled with excitement; he was already aroused. He mentally made a list of girls he had been with and began pencilling her name in at the top. The walk along the corridor was mercifully short, hers was the third door on the left. She pushed open the door and led him through.