Clifford Sawhney - Medical Jokes & Humour: Rib-tickling Jokes, Hilarious Quips, Amusing Quotes, Humorous Writings, Adult Limericks, Daffy Definitions, Duffers Medical Glossary

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ISBN 978-935-05727-3-3

DISCLAIMER

While every attempt has been made to provide accurate and timely information in this book, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, unintended omissions or commissions detected therein. The author and publisher make no representation or warranty with respect to the comprehensiveness or completeness of the contents provided.

All matters included have been simplified under professional guidance for general information only without any warranty for applicability on an individual. Any mention of an organization or a website in the book by way of citation or as a source of additional information doesn't imply the endorsement of the content either by the author or the publisher. It is possible that websites cited may have changed or removed between the time of editing and publishing the book.

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It makes sense to elicit advice from well informed sources before implementing the ideas given in the book. The reader assumes full responsibility for the consequences arising out from reading this book. For proper guidance, it is advisable to read the book under the watchful eyes of parents/guardian. The purchaser of this book assumes all responsibility for the use of given materials and information. The copyright of the entire content of this book rests with the author/publisher. Any infringement/ transmission of the cover design, text or illustrations, in any form, by any means, by any entity will invite legal action and be responsible for consequences thereon.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my eclectic and ecumenical upbringing, which taught me that the only thing that counts at the end of day is a good laugh and the Truth.

Me dical Jokes & Humour focuses on the non-vegetarian variety, since this is precisely what most adults want, although they may say just the opposite in polite company! If the bold and the bawdy offends you easily, we suggest you drop this book like a hot potato.

Having said that, we realise that despite any moral predisposition, you will be all the more tempted to read this! Please do so without reservations the ensuing bouts of laughter will wash out all trace of toxic characteristics (such as hypocrisy, double standards and negativity) from the body. Besides, to tell the truth, the purpose of warning prudes to drop the book is to ensure they do otherwise!

With this statutory warning having been served to readers, those who proceed across these delectable pages would not mind some risque comments and barbs. And for those who still do mind, never mind!

Clifford Sawhney

T his book has been compiled from various sources, including individual raconteurs, with the actual creators of the jokes largely faceless and unknown, some having long since left for the happy hunting grounds. To one and all of these masters of humour, my sincere thanks.

An old man in a nursing home is hornier than Chunky Pandey ever was. So when he sees this nurse who is well endowed on all fronts, he coos, How about a quickie for twenty bucks?

The nurse too is as randy as hell and will have anything on two feet or four. She agrees and gets on top of the old man. They have a ball for about ten minutes.

After the act, having enjoyed the tight experience, the old man says, What the heck, if I knew you were a virgin, I would have paid you a hundred bucks.

The nurse smiles sweetly and replies, And if I knew you could get it up that high, I would have taken off my panties!

There was this arrogant jerk of a doctor who had four nurses working under him. So on April 1, 2002, each of the nurses played a practical prank on him. Later that night, during their break, they were all discussing the fast one each had pulled on the doctor.

The first nurse said, I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldnt hear.

The second nurse said, I let the mercury out of his thermometer and painted them all to read 106 degrees.

The third nurse said, Well, I did better than the two of you. I poked holes in all the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer.

Hearing this, the fourth nurse fainted.

Two doctors in practice in a small-town clinic had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the Zee online lottery and quit. They interviewed Nurse Shilpa and decided to hire her. She had only worked a couple of days when one doctor called the other to his office and said they would have to terminate Nurse Shilpas services.

Why, we just hired her?

Well, I think she is dyslexic and gets things backward. I told her to give Mr Dandekar two shots of morphine every 24 hours, but she gave him 24 shots in two hours and it almost killed him. I told her to give Mrs Holkar an enema every 12 hours and she gave her 12 in one hour.

The doctor had barely finished outlining his reasons when the other doctor rushed out of the room. Where are you going in such a tearing hurry? the doctor inquired.