Linda Leaming - Married to Bhutan: How One Woman Got Lost, Said I Do, and Found Bliss

Praise for Married to Bhutan
As engaging and magical as Bhutan itself,
written with heart and insight,Married to Bhutan
is a wonderful memoir and a great journey.

Susan Orlean, author of The Orchid Thief

Married to Bhutanis wonderfully wise and endearing, much like the Himalayan kingdom that is its subject. Leamings graceful, witty prose captures the magic of Bhutan, a place where happiness is more than just a nice idea. It is a way of life.

Eric Weiner, author of The Geography of Bliss
After reading this book, I wanted to marry Bhutan and Linda Leaming. I was inspired by Lindas openhearted embrace of such a completely different culture and way of life, take lack of plumbing as just one small example. In the end, her book is about openness and love and how they are expressed in the caring actions of ordinary Bhutanese people. Linda shows us the beauty of Bhutan and expresses a tenderness toward her earthly in-laws that inspires me to open my own heart more and helps me realize that we are all bigger and more capable of love and adventure than we can imagine.

Cyndi Lee, founder of OM yoga
and author of Yoga Body, Buddha Mind
Paradise exists, and you can find it within the pages of this book, which provides a delightful and charming trek through the happiest, most beautiful, and most serene place on earth, Bhutan. A must-read for all those who know that the best journeys take place in multiple dimensions simultaneously.

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret

Copyright 2011 by Linda Leaming

Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in
Design: Tricia Breidenthal
Some of the stories in this book have appeared in different form in Ladies Home Journal, A Womans Asia (Travelers Tales, 2005), Tashi Delek Magazine, and Nashville Lifestyles.

Pages 56 and 138: William Stafford, The Little Ways That Encourage Good Fortune and Purifying the Language of the Tribe from The Way It Is: New and Selected Poems. Copyright 1973, 1987 by William Stafford and the Estate of William Stafford. Reprinted with the permission of Graywolf Press, Minneapolis, Minnesota, www.gray wolfpress.org.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private useother than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviewswithout prior written permission of the publisher.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Leaming, Linda
Married to Bhutan : how one woman got lost, said I do, and found bliss / Linda Leaming.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-4019-2846-9 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-4019-3094-3 (digital) 1. Leaming, Linda, 1954- 2. Leaming, Linda, 1954---Travel--Bhutan. 3. Americans--Bhutan--Biography. 4. Leaming, Linda, 1954---Marriage. 5. Intercountry marriage--Bhutan. 6. Thimphu (Bhutan)--Biography. 7. Bhutan--Biography. 8. Bhutan--Description and travel. 9. Bhutan--Social life and customs. I. Title.
DS492.73.L43A3 2011
954.98--dc22
[B]

2010032834

Tradepaper ISBN: 978-1-4019-2846-9
Digital ISBN: 978-1-4019-3094-3

14 13 12 11 4 3 2 1
1st edition, April 2011

Printed in the United States of America

For Judy Liff Barker,
for keeping the faith

CONTENTS

Authors Note

Chapter 12: Bliss

All names of people and some place names have been changed as a nod to the veil of fog that often envelops Bhutan. As much as possible Ive tried to update things that have changed during the almost two decades Ive had associations with the country, but I also want to convey the idea of Bhutan as I see it, or saw it from the beginning. The country and its people are making tremendous changes, but the things that matterfamily, culture, humorremain. The little house on the farm where we lived outside the capital of Thimphu is still there, but the farm has become a large school.

The Bhutan I married is a rural Bhutan, full of religion, superstition, wonderful friends and family, hard work, and jaw-dropping beauty. I never use the word pristine anywhere else, but I do in Bhutan. Most of the people described in these pages will never read this book. My audience in Bhutan is the intelligentsia, the average resident of Thimphu: educated, savvy, and self-examining to a degree that would surprise most Westerners, but we are a little patronizing that way. For this reason, educated Bhutanese might take issue with my characterizations of life in Bhutan, my insistence that Bhutanese look at time differently and might not be punctual getting to the office. I beg their indulgence. You dont know what you have until its gone.

I make no secret of the fact that I think my Bhutanese friends and family live more sanely than many people around the globe. They are my patient teachers. What I write and all I know is the experience of an outsider who had the extraordinary good luck to be welcomed into this unique place. It has been life-altering. In a way, it is a real marriage. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, my life belongs to Bhutan.

Just as Alice, when she walked through the looking glass, found herself in a new and whimsical world, so we, when we crossed over the Pa Chu, found ourselves as though caught up on some magic time machine fitted fantastically with a reverse

EARL OF RONALDSHAY, BRITISH GOVERNOR OF BENGAL, 1921, ON CROSSING THE RIVER (PA CHU) THAT LED HIM INTO BHUTAN

FROM THIS
DAY FORWARD

Several years ago, a friend called from London about an upcoming assignment in Bhutan in March, which was only a few weeks away. He had heard nothing about his travel arrangements, agenda, housing, schedule, or feesall he knew was that they wanted him to be there. I cant get anyone to answer my e-mails, he said, exasperated.