Clark - SHATTERED INNOCENCE

I dedicate my book to fellow survivors, thrivers, and others who help abused victims.

Thank you, Lari B. Davis, for designing my book cover. Thank you, Jim Hoffmann, for editing and formatting the final version of my my book. Thank you, Beverly and Robert, for helping edit my book. Thanks to a dear friend who helped me tremendously, Charles J. Stecker, Jr. Thank you Tammy Potts, Tamra B., Lynn M., Beverly M, Carol L, my sons, and my survivor friends.

Amidst utter heartbreak, angui sh, and indisputable personal trauma, Darlene fearlessly attacks the very darkest of subject matter with a genuineness that embraces her fellow survivor; undeniably peeling back the layers of shame so many of us carry across our hearts. Darlenes willingness to risk the most vulnerable places of her own heart certainly brings healing to an unsuspecting soul, mine included.

Personally, as a Crisis and Trauma Counselor working with young women breaking free from the bondage of sexual abuse, incest, and sex trafficking, as well as being a fellow survivor of long-term childhood sexual abuse, I find Darlenes faith and resilience truly astounding. Her continued desire to embrace survivors is a testimony to her unconditional compassion for those desperately hurting in this world.

It is an unquestionable honor to witness Darlenes immense courage, profound strength, and unparalleled determination when it comes to speaking the truth about childhood sexual abuse. This is a story we need to deeply hear. Her daring words shatter the silence, saying, No more! Today, is the day we break the cycle of abuse. Thus, Darlene is shining an impeccable light on the blackness that penetrates an innocent life when faced with the very bleakest of humanitys treachery.

Shine on Darlene. Shine on.

So, it is with great humility that I introduce you to Darlenes exceptional journey of not only making it out alive but choosing to thrive.

Julia Brit Fairchild

Crisis and Trauma Counselor

In this most difficult book, I, Darlene Clark, share my most private, tumultuous, tortuous past in an attempt to reach out to others. I am not seeking revenge, but am seeking to enlighten others about the traumas abuse can and does inflict.

I must warn you: This book is not for children to read. This book has devastating abuse and trauma. It will be tough to read the stories because of some graphic content. This is a true story. Only the names and places have been changed to protect the people in this book.

God Willing, my story might make you think twice about turning your back on someone who is being abused or who you speculate is being abused. You may be their only voice or chance of survival. Speak up!

Strength comes from the past. People continue to tell me to forget the past. It doesn't hurt me as badly as it used to. I am telling my story (One of survival, of courage, of hope.). I aspire to reach out to others to whom this has happened to. People should learn not to judge anyone. The worst thing I have heard is, I would have done this if this happened to me.

They didnt live it. They don't know what they would have done either in my situation or in anyone elses. The person has enough trouble surviving and coping without hearing someone saying what they would have done if that had happened to them. It is degrading. Surviving the horror of abuse is an inspiration in itself.

For those who have lived it, they know the hell. Each day was a matter of survival. Yes, some laws are supposed to help the abused victims, but in my situation, they didnt on numerous occasions.

Whenever you hear someones story of abuse, please do not tell them what you would have done. It makes the person feel worse. It is like saying you could have done it better and that we didnt do a good job surviving. To the judges Are you God? The Bible warns against judging. In Matthew 7: 1-2, Jesus said, "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and what measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again."

We NEED to pat ourselves on the back for surviving the horrors. So please dont say what you would have done or tell the survivor that he or she needs to stop discussing the abuse - unless it was you in that situation. I hope to show my strength by sharing my story. I am hoping others in similar situations can open up and talk about it. The worst a person can do is not talk about it. It gives the perpetrators more power. Lets get our power back and keep it!

I was destined to write this book... I was in an online support group. One day, I shared a piece I wrote named, Reginas Triumph. (It is in the chapter called Poems & Other Writings.) The members of the group asked for my permission to copy and print Reginas Triumph.

They informed me the writing portrayed how they felt. It helped them explain to their psychiatrist/psychologist how they felt since they had trouble explaining their feelings. It made me proud to be asked this. My words would help my abused friends explain how they feel internally. I felt honored.

So, I permitted them to show their doctor or therapist this literary piece. There were three times I had given up writing this book. All three times, within three days of me wanting to give up writing - devastating abuse happened.

The first time, I was talking on a popular messenger service with my friend named Cowboy Bill. He informed me about his friend, who was a police officer, who had given him some horrific news. A 4-year-old child overheard her mother and mothers boyfriend arguing. The little girl went to ask the mothers boyfriend to please stop fighting. She was trying to get his attention by tugging on his shirt. He backhanded her which sent her young body down a flight of stairs. She didnt survive.

The second time was about a year earlier, when a friend asked me to speak with her daughter who was being abused severely. I tried to convince her to leave.