Joke & Riddle
Ballyhoo
Jacqueline HorsfallIllustrated by Jackie Snider
Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.
New YorkLibrary of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Published by Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.
387 Park Avenue South, New York, NY 10016
Text copyright 2005 by Jacqueline Horsfall
Illustrations copyright 2005 by Jackie Snider
Distributed in Canada by Sterling Publishing
c/o Canadian Manda Group, 165 Dufferin Street
Toronto, Ontario, Canada M6K 3H6
Distributed in Great Britain and Europe by Chris Lloyd at Orca Book
Services, Stanley House, Fleets Lane, Poole BH15 3AJ, England
Distributed in Australia by Capricorn Link (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
P.O. Box 704, Windsor, NSW 2756, Australia
Printed in China
All rights reserved Sterling ISBN 1-4027-1953-1 For information about custom editions, special sales, premium and corporate purchases, please contact Sterling Special Sales Department at 800-805-5489 or specialsales@sterlingpub.com. For Taylor
Contents
Beastie Bloopers
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato. What do you call an elephant that jumps into your pool?
The Big Dipper. What do you feed a giant panda thats skinned its knee?
Bamboo-boo. What should you give a snake before putting it to bed?
A good-night hiss. What animal should you never play cards with?
A cheetah. What does a cheetah get when it hits its head?
A CAT scan. What kind of jewelry do pigs wear on their legs?
Oinkle bracelets. Whats a cats favorite pitch?
The hairball. Why do moths make good actors?
Theyre attracted to the spotlight. Where do butterflies go to dance?
The mothball. What does a baby whale pour into its bathtub?
Blubbles. What did the rubber duckie say to the baby whale?
Hi, squirt! What do llamas wear to bed?
Pajjamas. What do frogs wear on the way to their water beds?
Bedroom flippers. What do you get when your pet goldfish jumps out of its bowl?
Sushi. What do bunnies read before going to bed?
Cottontales. What time do chickens wake up in the morning?
Five ocluck. Why do roosters seem so vain?
They carry their combs wherever they go. If roosters have combs on their heads, what do rabbits have?
Harebrushes. What did the rooster crow after a pasta dinner?
Cock-a-noodle-doo! How do you get ticks off your dog?
Take away its watch. What do sea creatures eat on their birthdays?
Crab cakes. What do cats eat on their birthdays?
Mice-cream cones. What happens when your cat scratches its fur off?
Its a major catastroflea. What do you call a cat that drinks bad milk?
Sourpuss. How do you videotape a beach party?
With a clamcorder. What do crabs say when theyre introduced at beach parties?
Shell we dance? How do sharks introduce themselves at beach parties?
Pleased to eat you. How does Zorro protect himself from sharks?
With a swordfish. What lives in a shell and sleeps all day?
A napping turtle. What does a cow use for shaving?
A blade of grass. How is the letter A like a rosebush?
They both have bees coming after them.Buzz Off!
What do bees say when theyre angry?
Behive yourself and get bzzzzy! What do clams say when theyre angry?
You really steam me up. What do nuts say when theyre angry?
Why dont you pecan someone your own size? What do cowgirls say when theyre angry?
Im at the end of my rope! What do clockmakers say when theyre angry?
You really tick me off! Why cant you tell pigs your secrets?
They squeal. How do hogs haul their garbage?
In pig-up trucks. What do you call a pig in the middle of the highway?
A road hog. How do grizzlies ride their horses?
Bearback. What should you do if a bear cuts himself?
Call his paw. Where do you find frogs at football games?
On the cheerleaping squads. When are chickens penalized at basketball games?
When they cross the fowl line. How did the kangaroo score at basketball?
With a jump shot. How do dinosaurs like their prey?
Terrifried! How do moles eat their dinners?
They dig right in. Whats the best way to keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose. What marks a turkeys burial site?
A gravystone. Why do camels never get hungry crossing the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there. Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
If they stood on no legs, theyd fall down! What helps Santa fly safely through hurricanes?
His rain deer. Fiddle-de-Riddles
What do you call a lollipop dropped on the beach?
Sandy candy. What do you call whale soap?
Blubber scrubber. What do you call a humpback at half price?
A whale sale. What do you call a dog left out in the rain?
A wet pet. What do you call a little dog that scribbles?
A doodle poodle. What do you call ballet leotards?
Dance pants. What do you call a rabbits coins?
Bunny money. What do you call a bird that thinks its a rabbit?
A carrot parrot. What do you call a rodent that lives in your bedroom?
A house mouse. What do you call an insane flower?
A crazy daisy. What do you call a baby sheeps jelly?
Lambs jam. What do you call a college for ghosts?
A ghoul school. | Yum-Yum! |
What do you call a happy fruit?
A merry cherry. What do you call skinny limas?
Lean beans. What do you call Cheddar on a tissue?
Sneeze cheese. What do you call a fruit drink for deer?