For Barbara Allen, with thanks
Scholastic Childrens Books,
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First published in the UK by Scholastic Ltd, 1996
This electronic edition published by Scholastic Ltd, 2013
Text Terry Deary, 1996
Illustrations Philip Reeve, 1996
Cover illustration Martin Brown, 2011
All rights reserved
eISBN 978 1407 13721 6
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publishers prior consent in any form or binding other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed upon the subsequent purchaser.
Produced in the India by Quadrum
The right of Terry Deary, Philip Reeve and Martin Brown to be identified as the author and illustrators of this work respectively has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
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C ONTENTS
Introduction
Word power
People say some daft things. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me, they say.
Thats balderdash, I say. Here are some words that might hurt
So words can be quite, quite wicked. Wicked weapons. Baron Lytton even went so far as to say, The pen is mightier than the sword.
Throughout history words have meant POWER. In the late 1600s you could escape being hanged if you could read aloud the first verse of the 51st Psalm. This proved you were educated and you could get away with murder or to be accurate you got away with having your left thumb branded. (Though if you committed a second hanging crime then you went to the gallows even if you could read the whole of the Bible backwards.)
Reciting this neck verse was scrapped in 1705 when it was realized uneducated villains learned the words by heart! Alas, the ability to read no longer works in escaping punishment
Theres only one way to get your hands on this amazing power of words. Know more about words than anyone else in the world! Read this book and you can know more than anyone in the entire universe! (Oh, I forgot to mention words also give you the power to exaggerate a bit.)
In the beginning
In the beginning was the Word At least, thats what the Bible says. But of course we dont actually know what that word was.
Somebody can probably tell you what your first word was. When you sat on your newly filled nappy and said, Pooh! your adoring mother probably looked at your proud father and said, Oh, darling. It said its first word!
But what about the very first word of all? Its not as if some prehistoric human said, Unk! then stopped, looked at its mates and said, Hey guys! Ive just said the first word ever!
We can only guess the sort of things those early speakers talked about from the way they ran their lives. Intelligent human-like apes called Neanderthals, were the first creatures to wear clothes, make weapons and bury their dead. Piles of animal bones showed that they ate anything they could get their hairy hands on. If they had language then it must have been dead simple.
Then along came a newer ape called Homo sapien s . Look at their piles of old animal bones and what do you notice? They are much more organized. Bison in one season, deer in the next and so on. How did they do that? They must have been able to use words to say things like,
What happened next? Neanderthals died out, Homo sapiens survived and became people. People like you and me only a bit uglier than me. (I dont know about you.) That was the power of words. They were the difference between survival and extinction. (If dinosaurs could have talked then you might have been turning these pages with your prehensile tail.)
The power of words probably allowed Homo sapiens grown-ups to pass on their wisdom to their children. Imagine it. With the power of words came the power of teaching. The first teachers were probably language teachers and theyre still at it.
Of course it was a couple of million years before humans got around to inventing writing. Among the first things they wrote were the things that had happened to them. They invented that other horrible subject History!
So Wicked Words and Horrible History go together and here they are for the first time in one book.
Timeline
AD 43 410. Romans rule Britain. The native Brits speak Celtic. The Romans speak Latin. The Romans disappear, leaving behind a few of their wicked words and
Angles invade the southern part of Britain and make it Angle-land England. Their language is called Old English. It would look like Old Gobbledegook to most people today.
Vikings invade the north and east of England and add some of their own wicked words until
1066 Normans invade from France and their lords speak French but the peasants still speak English (and the pheasants just squawk).
1150 The beginnings of Middle English a mix of Old English and French that you could recognize today just about.
1387 A poet called Geoffrey Chaucer begins to write The Canterbury Tales its a long story poem (with some very rude bits!) and its written in English.
1399 Henry IV is the first monarch for over 300 years whose native language is English very handy. Now he can say useful things like, Pay me taxes, and Pay me more taxes.
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