Vicki DeArmon - Worlds Ugliest Dogs

The Question of Ugly

The Worlds Ugliest Dog Contest is an unbridled celebration of all that is fantastically dog. And ridiculously funny.

Because dogs are funny by nature and ugly dogs are funnier still. Its a human truth, one that the Worlds Ugliest Dog Contest capitalizes on every year with the event that takes place during the annual Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, California.

This book is about these beautifully ugly dogs.

To enjoy it, you have to love dogs. And you have to have a sense of humor.

To me these things go together. Dogs and humor.

Dogs to me are smile igniters. They are intrinsically funny. They are as close to being people as animals get. They are the furry Mini-Mes of our society, reflecting back all that we put out there in the world.

Thank goodness they cant talk. We get to translate and put words in their mouths, something our other family members seem to reject on principle. A dog cocks his head and questions you over his long nose. How was your day?(Some might misconstrue that to mean, Do you have a treat for me in your pocket? but lets not mess with an owners translation.) My dog often looks at me, for instance, and her eyes positively scream, You are so fabulous I can hardly stand it. I think Ill whip around three times in a circle at your feet to prove it. Why cant my husband do that? She might rest her head on her paws and look up expectantly. Okay, alpha leader, lead me. Why cant my children do that?

The Worlds Ugliest Dog Contest celebrates all that is fantastically dog. To enjoy it, you have to love dogs and you have to have a sense of humor.

Ugly dogs bring laughter to millions of people around the world.

Sometimes I catch my dog smiling at me, her leathery lips turning up capital Cs in the corners, and I know she gets me. A wet nuzzle to the neck and Im feeling I just might make it through a grim work week. My dog takes all the weight out of a heavy world.

Thats what the ugly dogs of the Worlds Ugliest Dog Contest do too. They lighten the load for all of us in a world overburdened with heaviness. And that is why the photo of the winner always careens around the world, hitting thousands of media outlets and bringing laughter to millions of people.

And what do the dogs think about all this? Do their feelings get hurt when the ugly word is cast their way? To answer this specific question, last year we brought in the renowned pet psychic Sonya Fitzpatrick to host the contest. We wanted to discover, once and for all, what the dogs were thinking as they assumed the stage amid the thundering applause and hyperintensive shouting from the assembled fans. Were they humiliated? Ashamed? Did they turn their doggy noses down and wish they were at home gnawing privately on a bone? (And if so, why were their tails wagging so fiercely?)

Dogs offended by the word ugly? Certainly not, says the psychic.

Our psychic read each dogs psyche as he or she ascended the stage. Turns out they were mostly thinking of chicken stripsfriedthe smell wafting over the stage from the adjacent stand in a most persistent manner. Also, they were pondering where their next nap was coming from. Thank you, Sonya, for putting the notion that dogs are offended to rest. That should put an end to humorless e-mails sent by the one or two protesters who have never attended the contest and fervently believe its just plain mean to associate dogs with the word ugly.

The fact is that there are no ugly dogs. They may be beauty challenged or unique, but if you ask their owners, these dogs are adorable. To the audience, the phrase most commonly used is so ugly, theyre cute.

Humans tend to love underdogs and ugly dogs define underdog (some of them do come adorned with capes). Its a contest specifically for underdogs, actually. These are dogs who are aesthetically challenged but also who have had some deep holes to dig before their fifteen minutes of fame arrived.

Many of the dogs entered in the Worlds Ugliest Dog Contest are shelter or rescue dogs. They are dogs who have been rescued from some pretty bad circumstances and brought home to a loving family. Their stories are in this book. And each time one of these dogs wins the title, the contest becomes more of a showcase event for loving and adopting shelter animals. That the dogs in the contest go on to be ambassadors of goodwill, encouraging people around the world to adopt animals from local shelters, is one of the best parts of the event.

Theres no such thing as an ugly dog. Their owners think they are adorable. The fans say, So ugly, theyre cute.

So heres whats especially noble about the ugly dogs who come to the Worlds Ugliest Dog Contest. They are willing to dress in silly outfits and parade around on stage in front of thousands of dog lovers. This is a testament to their commitment to the service agreements dogs signed thousands of years ago when they first lay down beside humans to keep us warm. Given that we mostly all have shelter now in our advanced society, lying down beside us metaphorically means wearing silly outfits and subjecting themselves to the overzealous displays of affection inflicted on them by their owners. Despite what has happened to them, they are grateful to be loved. And the crowds? The cameras? The hoopla? They dont seem to mind the attention one bit.