Introduction, or How I Became a Rock Critic
Five years ago this book was not on the horizon. Then I was one of two singersongwriters in The Go-Betweens and we had just completed our ninth album, Oceans Apart, in London. It was before Christmas 2004 when the bands Australian manager, Bernard Galbally, phoned to tell me that the editor of a new magazine, to be called The Monthly, was enquiring to see if I was interested in being its rock critic.
The editor was Christian Ryan. He was someone I didnt know, and the fact that I couldnt see or hold the magazine he was putting together added to the difficulty of the decision I had to make. My involvement required a leap of faith and the leap was going to be made in the public eye. But I could also see the confidence he was showing in me: my entire published writings, my portfolio so to speak, consisted of an article Id written on hair care for a Manchester fanzine called Debris back in 1987, and a review of a Bob Dylan album in the German rock magazine Spex in 1990. Whatever had prompted Christian Ryan to invite me to write for The Monthly, I knew it couldnt have been what Id done so far; it must have been based on what he thought I could do which was intriguing and flattering to me.
I told Bernard I would think on it over Christmas. The other stumbling block was that I knew of no other practising rock musician in the world writing regular published music criticism. Linked to this was the ancient divide, not too strong in my mind, between journalists on one side of the fence with their pens and supposed frustrated rock-star dreams, and the bourbon-drinking, cigarette-puffing, they dont understand us world of the musicians on the other. In the end the decision to say yes was relatively simple. When had following the dictates of rock n roll lore ever had anything to do with me? And when I spoke to Christian Ryan, he dropped one important piece of information. He told me that Helen Garner was going to be the film critic. Then I knew. Then the scale and ambition of The Monthly became clear, as did the twist and angle that Christian wanted from his writers in relation to the subjects they were going to review.
One thing, though. Helen Garner had novels, screenplays and much published journalism behind her. I had Spex and the aptly named Debris, and the words deadline and line editor were only familiar from movies such as All the Presidents Men. So a plan was hatched. Id write 1500 words on any new record I wished, send it to Christian, who was to be my editor, and if what I wrote failed total honesty being a part of our pact then wed end our experiment with no one the wiser, and he would engage a writer with a more conventional past in rock criticism.
Two pieces of good fortune then interceded. Firstly, the release of Oceans Apart was underway, and with the bands other songwriter, Grant McLennan, I found myself in Amsterdam on a European promotional tour, where I snared an early copy of what was to be that years hot album: Antony and the Johnsons I Am a Bird Now. And secondly, back in Brisbane I found that I could write paragraph after paragraph of my feelings and thoughts about this record without tripping up. I didnt know if what I wrote was good, or whether it would be accepted, the review beginning with the narrative of my listening to the album while sitting in the back of a taxi in Milan traffic, and not with a plotted course of the history of Antony and the Johnsons.
So the big thank you of this introduction goes out to Christian Ryan; for not only thinking sideways and then taking the gamble of hiring me, but also for his stewardship of my career as music critic, which started with his wonderfully enthusiastic response to my first review and the fine editing and advice he brought to my work. This book would not have been written without him.
Christian left The Monthly after six months, and without wishing to be flippant, this may not have been as traumatic for Helen Garner or Clive James or any other of the seasoned contributors as it was for me. Christian was the only editor Id ever known. I was worried how I was going to go with the new regime, both technically and on a personal level. I neednt have been: Sally Warhaft, the new editor, was instantly reassuring, enthusiastic and very capable, and with her came David Winter, my new line editor. Davids editing skills are evident in most of The Monthly articles in this volume and I thank him and Sally for helping me develop as a writer in tandem with the growth and maturity they both brought to the magazine. Since their departure I have begun a good working relationship with The Monthlys most recent editor, Ben Naparstek, which I look forward to continuing. And finally I would like to thank Chris Feik at Black Inc. for his editing, wisdom, patience, humour and forethought in asking me to write for and compile this book.
Robert Forster
Brisbane, August 2009
The 10 Rules of Rock and Roll
1. Never follow an artist who describes his or her work as dark.
2. The second-last song on every album is the weakest.
3. Great bands tend to look alike.
4. Being a rock star is a 24-hour-a-day job.
5. The band with the most tattoos has the worst songs.
6. No band does anything new on stage after the first 20 minutes.
7. The guitarist who changes guitars on stage after every third number is showing you his guitar collection.
8. Every great artist hides behind their manager.
9. Great bands dont have members making solo albums.
10. The three-piece band is the purest form of rock and roll expression.
Albums
The Return of the Wichita Lineman
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Glen Campbells Meet Glen Campbell
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Put yourself in Glen Campbells shoes. Youre 72. Youve sold 45 million records. Youve been married four times, most recently back in 1982. You have eight children. Your time is spent primarily on the golf course there was the Glen Campbell Los Angeles Open on the pro-golf circuit through the 70s. You smoke cigars and you belong to the Messianic Judaism movement. You havent made a charting pop record for 30 years, though you play the odd gig or tour and occasionally a live record or a selection of Christian songs comes out under your name. And of course you live in Malibu. Then this long-haired guy comes to one of your shows and tells you hes a record producer, and he not only wants to make a record with you of songs written mostly by young people youve never heard of, but hes also approached your old record label, Capitol the one you had your big hits with back in the 60s, like Galveston, Gentle on My Mind, By the Time I Get to Phoenix and theyre enthusiastic about the idea. They want you back. As you stand in your dressing room, guitar around your neck, stage sweat on your brow, youd have to ask yourself: Do I really want to go through this one more time?