Mindy Neff [Neff - Tempted by a Texan

B ecca Sue Ellsworths arms felt empty. It was an ache that went clear to her soul .

From her apartment window above her bookshop and antiques boutique, Beccas Attic, she gazed out at Main Street, darkened now except for street lamps casting shadowy arcs over the two-lane road. There was no traffic. The diagonal parking spaces in front of the sidewalks were deserted. Hope Valley was one of those small Southern towns that rolled up the sidewalks at dusk .

A deep sense of aloneness pressed against her chest. Shed just spent the evening with her three best friendsmore affectionately known as the Texas Sweetheartsand their families. She wasnt normally given to envy, and it made her feel small to covet her girlfriends children, pregnancies and happy families .

Oh, it wasnt as though she begrudged them their happiness. She just wanted a piece of it for herself .

Younger by six months than Sunny, Donetta and Tracy Lynn, Becca had recently celebrated her thirtieth birthday. The magic number, it seemed, when a womans biological clock began to gong like a cowbell being beaten by a sledgehammer .

The incessant reminder was almost deafening .

She didnt have the money for artificial insemination, which Tracy Lynn had tried. And she didnt have a husband like Sunny and Donettaand, of course, Tracy Lynn. Tracy Lynn had practically been forced into a marriage of convenience, which had ultimately turned out to be her hearts every dream come true .

Sighing, Becca looked past her own reflection in the window and caught a glimpse of movement below. Her heart jumped into her throat, and with a silent yelp, she quickly ducked behind the silky Priscilla curtains .

Colby Flynn .

The streetlight illuminated him as he walked down the sidewalk and paused outside his law office, which was right across the street from Beccas Attic. He started to insert the key, then turned suddenly, looking directly up at Beccas window .

She hit the wall beside the window with a thud, flattening her back against the blue forget-me-nots speckled across the antique wallpaper, and held her breath. It was a wonder she hadnt wet her pants .

That was all she neededto get caught staring at her ex- boyfriend .

Lord, the man could still make her heart bump against her ribs. More so lately. And all because of a silly promise made when they were both drunk on their butts .

Shoot, he probably didnt even remember. Itd been seven years .

Theyd dated, even tried living together for a couple of months one summer when Colby took a semester off from law school, but theyd soon found out that they were total opposites who drove each other nuts. Shed been a scatterbrained free spirit. Hed been a neatnik, stuffy sort who hadnt appreciated the fact that clothes lying about on the floor was an excellent way to preserve the life of the carpet .

Maybe shed scared him off. At twenty-three, shed been going through her I-want-to-get-married-and-have-babies phase. Colby was set on building a future in the field of law, not housekeeping. Hed told her he couldnt give her what she wanted, that he had to let her go so she could find someone else who could fulfill her dream, give her the things she deservedcommitment and family .

Even now a wave of embarrassment washed over her as she recalled the pitiful plea in her voice: What if that doesnt happen? Im all thats left of my family, Colby. What if I turn thirty someday and havent found my soul mate ?

You will turn thirty, hed teased. And Im sure a smarter man than me will have snapped you up way sooner than that .

But what if? shed persisted .

Then well have a baby together, hed said, wiping the tears from her face, her alcohol-induced misery clearly too much for him to resist. No strings attached. Youll have your family, Ill take care of the finances .

Well, her birthday had already passed. And because Colbys office was right across the street from her shop and apartment, she was hyperaware of his comings and goings .

Every time it looked as though he might make the trek across the street, an adrenaline surge nearly knocked her to her knees .

Did he remember ?

Neither of them had ever mentioned the words theyd said to each other seven years ago, words that made sense in the midst of an alcoholic haze, but could only be deemed ridiculous in the sober light of day .

Several times lately, though, when their paths crossed, Colby had given her a teasing, flirtatious wink and a knowing look .

What was up with that? And what in the world did it mean? She was becoming a wreck obsessing over it .

Gathering her nerve, Becca carefully inched to the side and sneaked a peek out the window. Colby was no longer on the sidewalk and a light inside his office indicated hed gone in .

Both relief and disappointment washed over her .

Criminy, Becca Sue. Get a grip .

Most likely, she was merely projecting her own wishes onto Colbythinking his overt glances in her direction carried undertones of their youthful baby pact .

Annoyed with herself at the silliness, she crossed the room, climbed into bed and snatched up a knitting magazine from her nightstand .

Neither she nor Colby would consider hopping in the sack just to produce a child and then go on their respective ways .

Besides, Colby Flynn had broken her heart. Oh, sure, shed made a point of not letting him know that. Shed been determined to act sophisticated, to play off their breakup as no big deal, insisting they continue their friendshipwhich they had, albeit as slightly distant friends .

Sadly, she would never easily trust a man with her heart again .

Especially Colby Flynn .

She flipped through the pages of the knitting magazine. It was the fall edition and she couldnt work up much enthusiasm for trendy hat and sweater patterns when the temperature outside this week had barely made it below seventy degrees. In Beccas opinion, it was silly to send out the fall issue of a publication in the middle of June .

After a few more minutes, she set aside the magazine and turned out the light. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, the barely perceptible smell of animals from the areas horse and cattle ranches wafted in the gentle breeze, shifted the gauzy curtains at her window, and mingled with the lemon verbena scent of her linens. What would probably seem like an odd combination of odors to others was actually comforting to Becca Sue. With every breath, she felt wrapped in a sense of the familiar, in generational roots that went as far back as the defenders of the Alamo .