Katie MacAlister - A Girls Guide to Vampires

1. Location, location, location. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker. They won't be found dead (ha!) in places like discos, ten-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Check the Czech Republic.

2. Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.

3. No matter how tempting it might be, DO NOT "ACCIDENTALLY" ACQUIRE A PAPER CUT AND SUGGEST YOUR VAMPIRE KISS YOUR FINGER TO MAKE IT BETTER. What you offer as a snack, he might take for a four-course meal.

4. From here on out, play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk show circuit and WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T OFFER HIM YOUR HEART.

5. And most of all, rememberbeing a vampire is nothing to laugh about.

"Katie MacAlister has an easy voice that brims with wit and fun."

Mrs Giggles from Everything Romantic

MacAlister has a "captivating voice and charming storytelling skills [and] impeccable style."

Inscriptions Magazine

"Katie MacAlister produces another wonderful Regency romp. This book is funny and fast-paced."

Romantic Times

"Imbued with a delectable sense of wit, the second of MacAlister's 'Noble' Regency historical romances is an irresistible, laughter-laced treat."

Booklist

"Simmering seduction, hilarious humor, a mystery, and a divine hero and heroine A sassy read you don't want to miss!"

The Belles and Beaux of Romance

"Readers are in for a wonderful ride!"

The Romance Reader

"This is without a doubt one of the funniest historicals I've read [an] outstanding book."

The Best Reviews

"This story is a true romp There is much to laugh at when reading this book and much to miss when it is over A true 'keeper'"

Romantic Times

"Sexy, feisty and clever."

Reader to Reader

"Funny, quirky, and enjoyable Don't miss this one!"

Millie Criswell, USA Today Bestselling Author

"Charming and irresistible! A tale to make you smile and pursue your own dreams."

Patricia Potter, USA Today Bestselling Author

Raphael's eyes glittered wickedly at me as he dropped his head so he could glower into my eyes. "Very well, we'll forget last night, but that doesn't explain the fact that you're attracted to me now."

"I am not!" I said, outraged at such an idea, refusing to admit that my body was thrumming like a plucked string.

"You are. You're practically begging me to kiss you. If that's not being attracted to me, I don't know what is."

His breath feathered across my face, distracting me for a moment. I bathed in the light of his heated eyes, feeling warm and feminine and very, very aroused. Damn him.

"If I wanted you to kiss me, 606, I'd be checking your tonsils right now."

"Is that so?"

He was so close, I could feel the heat of his chest as it brushed against me. His eyes burned into mine, our mouths just a fraction of an inch apart as I acknowledged that he was right: I did want him to kiss me, more than anything else I could think of.

KATIE MacALISTER

A GIRL'S GUIDE TO VAMPIRES

LOVE SPELL NEW YORK CITY

LOVE SPELL

November 2003

Published by

Dorchester Publishing Co, Inc.

200 Madison Avenue

New York, NY 10016

Copyright 2003 by Marthe Arends

ISBN 0-505-52530-5

The name "Love Spell" and its logo are trademarks of Dorchester Publishing Co, Inc.

Printed in the United States of America

Visit us on the web at www.dorchesterpub.com

I offer my profound thanks and gratitude to Christine Feehan, not only for taking my vampire virginity in a way that left me her most devoted fan, but for her friendship and support, both of which mean worlds to me (especially since they survived a dicey rune stone reading). Big smoochy kisses go, as ever, to my critique partner Vance (who thinks up the best titles), my agent Michelle (who is just all around fabulous), my editor Kate Seaver (who sends me notes to "write funny "), and my husband (who puts up with me).

"Gin makes me brilliant."

"No, Joy, you just think gin makes you brilliant. Gin makes you sotted. Chocolate makes you brilliant."

I looked at the reflection in the French door of the dark-haired woman sitting next to me in a circle of lit candles, and shook my head with a solemnity that I hoped belied the aforementioned sottedness. My reflection shook her head as if to warn me. I decided to heed the warning, and carefully set down my glass. "Chocolate has many powers, most notably in the area of adding heft to my hips, but gin, in fact, makes me brilliant."

Our companion drifted around the room lighting more scented candles, pausing to raise her eyebrows at the sight of our mutual friend snorting with laughter into her vodka martini.

"No more libations of a vodka nature for you, Roxanne," Miranda warned before lighting one last candle and dropping down onto a taupe and green leaf print rug across from us. "The Goddess doesn't grant her blessings upon those who are soused. Joy, what is it you are being brilliant about?"

I plucked the lime wedge from my gin and tonic and sucked the gin-soaked meaty pulp from it, mentally bemoaning my Amazonian stature, as Miranda, with the grace of a gazelle who had been taking ballet lessons since birth, pulled her long, slender legs into a lotus position. I gave a moment over to damning the Viking genes that left me towering over most women, and many men. "This plan of Roxy's to find us a pair of dishy guys. I've decided, after much due consideration and many, many brilliant gin-inspired thoughts, to allow you to make my case before your Goddess. If she'd like to point me in the direction of a guy who is the perfect embodiment of everything manly and good, well then, it behooves me to listen. There, in a nutshell, is my brilliance."

Roxanne snorted into her drink again. "In other words, you've broken up with Bradley again."

I shrugged. My on-again, off-again boyfriend had lots of good points, qualities like faithfulness, devotion, patience, and a sunny, optimistic nature. "The problem with Bradley is that he's just not the onethe man who makes my heart race just by being near him, the man who makes me believe in wonderful things like falling in love at first sight. He's just Bradley."

"That's just my point, Joy! You're so stuck in your ways that you can't even be bothered to look for a man you deserve, not old stick-in-the-mud Bradley Barlow, who wouldn't know excitement if it bit him dead center on the ass."

I couldn't help but bristle at the judgmental tone in her voice. I've known Roxy since we were in kindergarten, but that didn't mean she could get away with every snide comment she felt like launching in my direction. "You should speak, Miss Still a Virgin at Twenty-four. What you know about relationships with men could be written on the head of a vibrator."