Jennifer M. Alemany - Mark My Love

Mark My Love is a work of nonfiction.
Some names and identifying details have been changed.

Copyright 2020 by Jennifer M. Alemany

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the author, addressed
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Print ISBN: 978-1-09835-452-7
eBook ISBN: 978-1-09835-453-4
Printed in the United States of America on SFI Certified paper.
First Edition

This book is dedicated to the memory of my mother,
Elizabeth Ann Luna.

Life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass.
Its about learning how to dance in the rain.

Vivian Greene

Contents

Introduction

K nowing the life that I have lived so far, some have said I defied my cultural Latin background, or as I like to say Im just living the life I want! So those of you out there who know the pressures of your community and your familythere is a way to make it through and without any of the guilt. Im living proof.

My life is absolutely nothing like I thought it would be when I was younger. I remember wanting a huge family. The kind where all the cousins grew up to be close, kinda like my family, or at least what it used to be. I set out to be an early-childhood teacher: I was going to make a difference with young kids and their families. I was sorta on the way to a version of the family and life I wanted. Then as we all know, life had something else in store for me, and I went with the flow.

Here I am forty-six years old, single, living with my puppy Leo and embarking on a writing adventure. If someone had told me this would be my life, I would have been literally on the floor laughing. I cant speak for anyone else, but when you are in your midforties and you are riding the waves of life, you would think its not the time to shake things up and play pick-up sticks. Life has thrown me some major curve balls at this point, and I did what I could to get through them. Know that life will try to get you down. Its up to you to keep things moving along. So maybe it was the time to embark on a new chapter of sorts. You can start anything new at any given moment. You dont need permission from anyone. You just need that fire in your belly to start doing what your heart desires. You do have the strength and power to change the course of your life. Do something you havent done before. Notice how you feel afterward. Do life with joy: nothing else matters.

Our culture is what makes us who we are; who we become is up to us. I did life the way it wanted me to, instead of doing it the way others wanted me to. It takes bravery, perseverance, and a sense of humor. Once you start doing your own thing like I did, youll hear a lot from those around you, whether it be praise, being told how they would have done it, the yes you did the right thing or an array of other colorful commentaries. Take them all lightly. People are who they are. An exciting new thing can be fun for many in your life, and its their way of enjoying some of it, too. And think about the new cultural traditions you could be bringing into your community. What an amazing example you could set for the next generation! We all have the gift to blaze new trails: your adventure could be in a history book some day, you never know. Dont take that future from young people everywhere.

My story will be familiar to some and different to others. Thats how I wanted it be: I make a point to surround myself with different people whether it be generationally, genderwise, and/or culturally. It makes for a much more interesting life. My true hope is to enlighten just anyone with my memories. Life is never easy, but when you hear someone speak of something that you are going through and how they navigated it, there is some ease of mind. It doesnt mean you have the answer now, it just means you could exhale for one moment knowing someone has felt what you are feeling. I continue to do the best I can with what I am given in life; you are doing the same, so give yourself some credit, give yourself a break, LOVE yourself.

P.S. Excuse some of my colorful language throughout my storyits how I speak sometimes, and I wanted to be true to you and to me.

Chapter One

Jenny from the Block

L ove is such a complex thing, when you think about it. It is one of the first things most of us experience upon arriving into this world. It takes on different forms in our lives, and we start to learn that there are so many dimensions to it. Soon enough we also learn about losing love and feeling all the heartache through a broken heart. I have been blessed to know all kinds of love in my life and have also survived losing love. Im genuinely thankful for all the experiences because it has all brought me to the life of joy and gratitude that I live now. All the pain brought me clarity and put everything into perspective. Through a tunnel of darkness, I discovered profound light at the other end, and I decided to share a piece of my journey with my community.

Ive never been one to go into some long, drawn-out story about my childhood and how it molded everything in my life as it stands today. Understand, I believe that the effects of ones childhood greatly impacts everything; I just dont need to go on and on about it, so Ill be keeping it short and sweet. Im a strong believer in less is more. Have you ever asked yourself who you really are? Shit, who the hell am I? I guess I should start there.

Im Jennifer Maria from Brooklyn, New York, born and raised, and its in my blood. I lived predominantly in the Sunset Park and Bay Ridge area for most of my life. Brooklyn will always be a part of my soul no matter where I end up. Im the Brooklyn girl who makes sure to tell people that is where Im from, its not just the city , its very different. I also pride myself in knowing a good bagel and really good pizza. It comes with the territory, coming from the hood and all. You see the Brooklyn of today, 2019, is not the Brooklyn I grew up in during the 70s, 80s, 90s and onward

The 70s Brooklyn I remember were the days where we lived in a three-family home owned by a relative, all trying to make ends meet. All middle-class families lived on the block, mostly Irish-American, Italian, and Puerto Rican. If you walked a few blocks from the old hood, you would find yourself in the middle of the Hasidic Jewish community. It all seemed like everyone did their best to get along. I can still picture the eclectic mix of people I would see when I was out and about with my mother. I would say the 80s werent that much different as far as the hood was concerned. Everyone was just moving with the ages: there were roller-skating rinks, neon-colored clothing, a lot of hair spray and, if you had some money, Jordache jeans, too. Damn, I remember that I wanted a horse on my jean pockets just like all the pretty girls I dont remember anyone in my Latin circle having those jeans. As the decades went on, other families started to move in. Mexican-American, Asian-American, and Indian-American. The faces somewhat changed, but it was still a festive stew of amazingly culturally different people, it was great to grow up in such a diverse environment. The mom-and-pop shops surrounded us, and there was the small newspaper store, and the candy shop with buckets filled with five-cent treats. Brooklyn used to be the place where everyone knew the other families, and they all watched out for each other. Today, its a trendy borough that is expanding rapidly and losing its old-school soul. That soul is a part of me and the memories I have.