Eric Walters - The Rule of Three

Cant you keyboard a little bit faster? Todd asked.

We were in the computer room during study hall, our second-to-last class of the day. Not exactly where I wanted to be, but there were worse places to be than hanging with my best friendeven if we were working on his essay.

Its not the speed of my fingers thats slowing us down. I can only type what you say. And youre not saying anything, I answered.

Come on, Adam, Im counting on you to fill in the blanks on this thing.

Its your essay.

Dont you want me to pass? Todd cajoled.

Of course I want you to pass.

Then youd better get busy, because that whole passing thing isnt likely to happen if you dont contribute.

You wouldnt need my help if you didnt wait until the last minute to do your homework, you slacker, I said.

It is not the last minute. This isnt due until final period.

Which is in forty minutes, I replied.

Thats my point. It wont be the last minute until thirty-nine minutes from now. If I handed it in now, technically it would be early.

This was Todd logic at its finest. He was almost impossible to reason with but totally impossible not to have a laugh with. The freshman girls seated on either side of us in the computer lab seemed to agree as they started giggling.

Please dont encourage him, I said.

And now you dont want me to be encouraged. What sort of best friend are you? Todd demanded. If you ladies want to offer me encouragement, please feel free.

They giggled again. This was obviously becoming more about him trying to impress them and less about helping me help him avoid flunking another assignment.

Why didnt you just do this last night? I asked.

I was worn out from football practice. Physically and mentally. Youd have been worn out, too, if you hadnt quit the team.

I snorted. I didnt quit. I just didnt try out this year.

Same thing.

Its not the same thing. I chose flying lessons over football.

What kind of normal sixteen-year-old chooses flying lessons over anything?

One who wants to be a pilot.

Just like Daddy.

Sure. My father was a commercial pilot for Delta. He had been in uniform at the breakfast table and said he was heading to OHare this morning. I knew he would be taking off on his return flight soon, so hed be home in time to read with the twins before they went to bed.

Personally, Id rather be like your mother, Todd said.

My mother is a woman, I pointed out. And I gotta tell you that picturing you in a dress, heels, and makeup is a bit unnerving.

First off, I want to be a police officer, like your mother. Second, the idea that you are picturing me in a dress, makeup, and heels is more than a bit unnerving, he replied. Just how long have you been fantasizing about me as a woman?

Once Todd got started it was hard to turn him off.

Excuse me! Todd called out. Everybody in the lab turned to face him. How many people find it disturbing that Adam has been picturing me as a woman?

Lots of hands went up.

Ignore him, please! I protested.

Adam, dont be ashamed, embrace your feelings!

Let me know when youre done, Todd.

In this day and age its important that all of us accept you for what you are and how you feel. In fact, I take it as a compliment that you fantasize about me.

I dont fantasize about you!

Dont be embarrassed. Im sure youre not the only one who fantasizes about me. He turned to the girl on one side. Right? You must admit Ive entered your dream world at least once or twice.

She stopped laughing and looked like she was choking on something.

Dont be shy, he said. Embrace your feelings, too. Live the fantasy and you could become part of the total Todd experience.

She turned beet red, gathered up her things, and practically ran away. The other two girls beside us pretended to ignore us now.

Nice, I said.

Mean, possibly. Fun, tremendously. Thats why God created high schoolso kids in older grades could torment kids in younger grades.

I knew that Todd could be neither embarrassed nor contained. He was as relentless as an avalanche. All I could do was redirect him.

Since when did you decide you wanted to be a police officer?

Recently. I decided it would be cool to run around with a gun, he said.

The fact that you dont have a gun right now is at least a small blessing for all of us.

Ill ignore that crackbut if I had a gun I would force you to play football.

Like I said, I have no time.

You could have time for both football and flying lessons if you didnt waste so much time on school. Thats my solution.

And just how is that working out for you? I asked.

It would be going extremely well if somebody would stop giving me a hard time and help me finish up this essay.

Lets just get it finished. I have to get out of here right after school. I have a flight lesson.

Okay, Orville Wright, he said.

Hey, better Orville Wright than Orville Redenbacher. Three more lessons and then I solo.

When you get your license, do you know who I want to be the very first person up in the air with you?

You?

I was thinking anybody except me!

The two girls to my left started giggling againas well as a couple of other people in the lab.

You better not insult the man who has your future at his fingertips or

The lights suddenly went out, the computer screen went blank, and everybody in the lab collectively groaned as we were thrown into darkness.

What happened? I wondered.

Power failure or something. More important, did you at least save my essay? Todd questioned.

I saved it a few minutes ago. Its almost all there.

But I need all of it there! What am I going to tell Mr. Dixon?

Youll tell him about the power failure.

He wont believe me!

Of course hell believe you. The lights are out everywhere, so I think he might have noticed. I gestured to the darkened hall. This isnt just a power failure in the computer lab. Besides, Im sure everything will be back on soon, I said.

Soon may not be soon enough, and he wont believe me that it was almost done. You have to tell him!

Why me?

Hell believe you! You hand in your assignments on time, you never skip class, you do your reading, and youre always polite to teachers. You are such a suck-up!

Its called being responsible.

Suck-up responsible different words for basically the same

Hey, my computer is down, too, the girl beside us said.

Everybodys computer went off, Todd said. Computers need a magical substance called electricity. He turned to me. Todays younger generation doesnt understand much.

I understand that this is my laptop and it has a battery, she said.

The battery must be dead.

But mine went down as well, another boy said.

Mine, too, a girl at the other end of the lab added. All of them were on laptops.

Well, thats because Todd turned to me. Well, Adam?

How should I know?

Didnt you win the science fair last year?

That was for designing a two-seated ultralight, not because I know everything about electricity.

Come on, you know everything about everything. I wouldnt let you do my homework if you didnt. Can we go and find Mr. Dixon and explain to him about my paper?