Asha Dornfest - Parent hacks: 134 genius shortcuts for life with kids

By Asha Dornfest

Workman Publishing | New York

To Caron Arnold, Sara Carlstead Brumfield, Kara Hagen, Tracy Hengst, Adrienne Jones, Jim Jones, Elana Kehoe, Stu Mark, Rob Monroe, Duane Morin, Heather Petit, Jill Pohl, Kendra Riemermann, Marjorie Wheeler, Homa Woodrum, and the readers of ParentHacks.com . This book and my gratitude are yours. We made this together.

In addition to the Parent Hacks community, Id like to thank the following people for allowing me to include their hacks: Amy Storch, writing for ).

What comes to mind when you think about hackers? Malevolent creators of computer viruses? Bored coders wreaking havoc on the Internet? These people exist. But theres a larger, more influential group of hackers who use their cleverness and ingenuity for good. You know them. Youre one of them.

Parents are the smartest, most prolific hackers around. Think about it: When was the last time your day went as expected? Raising kids, particularly in the beginning, is the most seat-of-the-pants job there is. You make it up as you go along, and every now and again, you stumble upon a brilliant solution or shortcut that makes your life easier.

Parent Hacks celebrates those flashes of problem-solving genius.

Whats a parent hack? You delight in your kid. Of course you do. But, along with the joy, lets acknowledge that parenting comes with its share of annoyances, dilemmas, and full-on crises, many of which require fast thinking under less-than-ideal circumstances. The diaper explodes when youre miles from a bathroom, and youve forgotten to restock the diaper bag. The kids fast asleep until the pacifier falls out of his mouth and he wakes up screaming. Im sure you can come up with a few disaster scenarios of your own. One of them probably occurred earlier today.

A parent hack is a creative, unexpected solution to a kid-related problem. Its a clever work-around, an inspired shortcut, a duct-tape-and-chewing-gum-type move that changes the game.

Since 2005, Ive made it my job to collect and share parent hacks. In fact, the idea for ParentHacks.com grew out of a single question I desperately needed answered when I was a new parent: Does someone else know what theyre doing?

This isnt what I expected. Early parenthood didnt exactly line up with my expectations. Id assumed raising kids would bear some resemblance to the extensive babysitting Id done as a teenager. Obviously parenthood was larger in scope and longer in duration (and unpaid), but I was confident my husband, Rael, and I could keep level heads while caring for our children and managing our home.

Instead, the kids were crying, the house was a mess, and I felt like I was drowning. Rael did all he could to help, but I had no idea how to help myself. I loved my family and appreciated our life together, which made my struggle as a new parent all the more fraught.

So I did what had always worked for me in the past: I consulted the experts.

I read every parenting and productivity book I could get my hands on with the assumption (or fervent hope) that other peoplemore qualified peoplewould have the answer. I adopted time-management systems. I called the pediatrician. I adjusted my communication style. I called my mother. I dropped a few hundred dollars on home-organizing supplies. I called my therapist.

But expert advice didnt fix my new life. If anything, it undermined what little confidence I had. I felt more overwhelmed (so much information!) and less equipped to handle it. (I must be doing this wrong!) Social media wasnt yet a thing, so with no easy way to compare notes beyond my immediate circle, I was plagued by self-doubt. My unflappable optimism... flapped.

I found my tribe online. I discovered blogs. At the time, blogs were new enough that finding them felt like stumbling into a secret world. Parents were taking to the Internet, writing their own stories in real time, unvarnished. I was dazzled. This was nothing like the stuff Id read in parenting books and magazines. And by nature of the format, there was an important extra no book or magazine could offer: an invitation to respond.

I immediately jumped in and started blogging. The comment section on my posts (and on other blogs) became my sounding board and my release valve, and readers and blog authors from around the country became my friends. We swapped ideas across time zones, laughed at one anothers parenting foibles, and revealed struggles wed been afraid to admit, sometimes even to ourselves. Local friends thought it was weird that I was talking to people on the Internet, but it felt completely natural to me. Id found my tribe.

In 2005, I launched Parent Hacks with the idea that a blog could be useful for more than storytelling; it could be a platform for exchanging ideas and tips with other parents. My hope was that if enough of us tossed our worked for me discoveries into the pot, wed be able to learn from one another. One parents moment of genius could help another parent in a moment of crisis.

I shared what practical advice I had about baby gear, household shortcuts, productivity, and helpful shifts in perspective, and I invited other parents to do the same. Most of my kid-wrangling tips didnt resemble the sweet, soft-focus suggestions Id read in the magazines. It was more like MacGyver meets What to Expect When Youre Expecting.

Within months, parents from all over the world were emailing me their tips and discoveries. My in-box was flooded with smart ways to deal with diaper blowouts, leaky sippy cups, picky toddlers, and cluttered homes. A blog post would inspire discussion in the comments, which would lead to new posts and even more interesting conversation.

An intelligent, generous community grew around my blog, and I found myself surrounded by parents who were inventive, kind, and unafraid to admit that, yeah, life with kids is complicated. I still had more questions than answers, and I still felt overwhelmed at times, but I also felt more confident that Id figure it out as I went along. We all would, together.

Youre the expert, even when it doesnt feel like it. My readers taught me something I wish I had known from the start: Parenting is a series of best guesses. We rarely feel sure of ourselves. How can we when were making case-by-case decisions based on spotty data and shifting variables, on too little sleep?

Parent Hacks also proved to me that, without a doubt, we all have moments of brilliance. Raising kids reveals our hidden problem-solving ninja. Not every day, not always when we need it, but surely and eventually, we all shine.

The thing is, our flashes of genius are too easily forgotten in the stumble toward bedtime. Thats why I started a blog and now have pulled together this book: to save and pass along these gems. This book is crammed with 134 illustrated tips that will make you smack your forehead and wonder, why didnt I think of that?

Youll find tips on a range of topics from late pregnancy to birth and early parenthood, from organizing your home to feeding and clothing your kids and keeping them (relatively) clean and healthy. Youll get ideas for simplifying outings and travel, suggestions for playtime and learning, and tips for managing holidays and special occasions.

Youll also find new and creative uses for items you probably already have in your home.

You deserve a high five. The Parent Hacks community provides something more subtlebut more importantthan tips. I call it