Jedediah Bila - #DoNotDisturb: How I Ghosted My Cell Phone to Take Back My Life

Ive been begging for a DeLorean for my birthday for as long as I can remember. Every year I wake up, look out my window, and hope to see the poufy white hair and electrified eyes of Dr. Emmett Brown, his long arms outstretched from his too-short lab coat, waving excitedly, beckoning me forth, eager to send me back in time.

Back to the Future is one of my favorite movies. Ive seen it at least twenty times. Mostly because I suffer from a particular condition called Simple Life Envy. Instead of marching out of my apartment into the hustle and bustle and technology-muscle that is our modern world, brushing shoulders with people scurrying here and there on their smartphones, yapping into wireless headphones, scrolling through the latest and greatest social media apps, I crave something different. I want to walk outside into a stream of people aware of their surroundings, looking at the detailed faade of an old brownstone, pointing out a rabbit-shaped cloud in the sky, connecting with the loved one beside them, taking hold of a friends arm as they laugh uncontrollably at a joke well told. I want to see children playing with other children on playgrounds, no iPads or other such screens in sight, and their parents actually watching them, not looking down at a device in their hands or interacting with someone else who is somewhere else doing something else. I want to pass by people who say hello. Id say hello back, then breeze along to the neighborhood diner, squeeze into a booth with friends who are deep in conversation, order breakfast for dinner, and appreciate the fact that the most high-tech item in our vicinity is a jukebox playing a great song from the 1950s or 60s. Perhaps the Shirelles, asking wistfully: Will you still love me tomorrow? Yep, that sounds about right.

It isnt pure fantasy to imagine myself in an era when people engaged meaningfully with one another, when outside distractions were few, when you could close chapters of your life and move on without an iCloud or social media reminder trail, when people looked into each others eyes on first dates or glanced at a patch of red roses on a walk home.

Those days really did exist. I remember them. And it wasnt too long ago.

I recall a place where we were in that place and only that place, and only those we could see in front of us were there with us; a time when the frequent, nearby buzzing of a tiny nuisance demanding attention was most likely an insect, not a device for which wed pay dearly every month; a moment when we were actually in the moment, and not taking a selfie of it.

For those of you who cant imagine such a time, believe me when I, and others who knew the world before the ubiquity of smartphones, tell you about it. It existed. And it was wonderful.

Back then, before these digital doohickeys dominated our world, we lived the lives we were living, instead of constantly trying to capture a perfect representation of those lives to post on social media, for us to then check obsessively for views. Or likes. Or whatever. Over and over.

While I know we cant go backward, Id sure like to move forward in a better way. With an appreciation for the simple and the good, and a thoughtful intention to incorporate the best of what was, into what is and can be.

That said, Im not one of those I-had-to-walk-five-miles-to-school-barefoot-in-the-snow-uphill militant memorialists, resentful of the ease that has come with progress. I like aspects of my smartphone and the laptop on which I typed this. I have a social media presence. I dont want to lose any of the wonderful ways the latest and greatest innovations have improved lives. Nor am I denying the ways in which technology has helped humankind in so many arenas, such as science, research, exploration, and communications. But I am beyond frustrated with the surge in personal technology that has compromised so many aspects of who we are and how we live. Its affecting all of us. Even if you dont know it.

If you have no idea of the extent to which tech is dominating your life, this book is for you.

If you have some idea, but no clue as to how to deal with it, this book is for you.

If you have some idea, but have resigned to let tech take over your brain, this book is also for you. Because your brain is a good thing, and you need to know and understand exactly what that gadget in your hand is doing to it.

How these gadgets that now rest constantly in our pockets, on our laps, and in our palms affect our hearts and minds, and our too-often blind acceptance of some new, brain-shrinking, behavior-altering status quothats the problem.

The solution? Well, I think about the tech issue in the same way that I think about many others that affect society. I believe that we, the people, are responsible for ourselves and our actions. When it comes to tech, we must ask questions and consider usage implications for our daily lives and relationships, before embracing Silicon Valleys latest hot trend. We must consider how we want to use technology so that we can design and build the lives we want, the lives that make us happy. What that looks like will be different for each person, and thats okay. The key is to remember that no matter what gadget or app or seemingly convenient who-knows-what emerges next, we, the people, hold the power to use it as we see fit. Or not at all.

That is why I went on this journey of exploration and examination to discover where I was and who I wanted to be, with and without my cell phone, computer, and social media. On this road, I asked myself twelve questions about what I felt I had lost in my tech-dominated life, and along the way I uncovered some answers, and even some solutions.

It wasnt easy to admit the things I reveal here, the details of how I lost myself in the thickets of the tech jungle. Some of these personal stories, reflections, discoveries, and slipups are embarrassing, even downright humiliating, but Im sharing it all because I want you to know that there is a person out there who can help you disentangle from the web of technology that is overtaking your life and your sanity. That person is:

You.

I found my way out of the tech jungle by absorbing wisdom and advice from trusted resources, and then relying on the one person who could act to fix me:

Me.

Now, I dont suggest that you move to a remote town, toss your phone in a well, communicate by telegraph, and carry a lantern to and from your evening destinations. But Im also not suggesting that you passively allow whatever intrusions some random software developer cooks up to enter your life unchallenged and unquestioned. Instead, I share the powerful package of homemade solutions I created for myselfan embrace of the tech features that enhance my life, with self-imposed limits that make me healthier, happier, and in charge.

My hope is that you will find yourself in the stories I share and come away empowered to own the tech in your life instead of letting the technology own you. If you want to. I hope you do, because the quality of our relationships and our experiences with each other, with nature and our surroundings, is at stake. The quality of life for our kids and grandkids depends upon us taking control. The next generation is going to miss so much of the beauty we grew up with if we dont stand tall in this fight and tell technology to sit the hell down.

This is our time to take action, to take control, and to take back our lives.

Im hoping youll put your phone away, or at least put it on airplane mode, and venture with me through these pages, where I examine the current cultural climate, consider the best and worst of what technology has to offer, and reveal the nitty-gritty, personal anecdotes from my voyage through the wringer of the tech revolution, as well as my attempts to navigate my way back out again, to