Adams - Wabi-Sabi Welcome

Wabi-Sabi Welcome

Learning to embrace the imperfect
and entertain with thoughtfulness and ease

Julie Pointer Adams

artisan | new york

To Mom and Dadfor consistently modeling what sincere humility, hospitality, and an open, generous life truly look like.

And to Ryanfor being a constant source of joy and encouragement, and for happily building a welcoming home full of wabi-sabi pleasures by my side.

Contents

Introduction

Entertaining, in the traditional sense, can feel overwhelmingeven intimidatingwith so many things to consider: whom to invite, what to cook, what dishware to use, how to style the table, and more. But what if being a good host meant little more than sharing a cup of tea on the porch, or merely creating a warm, welcoming environment for your guests? Entertaining is first and foremost about being together, no matter how, when, or where, rather than trying to impress our guests or achieve perfection. Creating this more generous and more forgiving definition of entertaining is what Wabi-Sabi Welcome is all about.

I wrote this book for anyone hungry to share his or her home and life in a simpler, less perfection-seeking way. Regrettably, Ive found that the easier it is to connect through devices, the less and less aware we are of the importance of being connected to the people right around us, and the more intimidated we are by how polished everyone elses lives look. Weve forgotten how good it is to have unhurried, uncurated experiences in the company of others, in real time, with real conversation. These pages are a reminder that all entertaining requires is a bit of thoughtfulness in order to make our homes the kind of intimate and comfy spaces that people love to gather in, and how rich our lives become when we take the time to regularly open our doors.

The Japanese aesthetic of wabi-sabi leads us to such a version of entertaining. This book explores what wabi-sabi looks and feels like, showing how and where Ive experienced it across the globe. So what is it, and why does it matter? Its a way of life that celebrates the perfectly imperfectbeauty found in unusual, unfashionable places or objects, and in moments usually overlooked or unappreciated. It can be found in lovely places, too, perhaps just not where we most expect it. Most important, this mind-set is about paying attention. It is the habit of noticing and relishing small and hidden wonders, like a peony dropping its petals or a church bell tolling at dinnertime. Its a willingness to be easily delighted instead of critical, skeptical, or fearful. Wabi-sabi is candid, honest, and unswerving from the everydayness of real life, and it can liberate us from the burden of expectation because it always welcomes the unexpected. Embracing wabi-sabi as we entertain gives us license to reorder our priorities, letting go of what we think is required of us and replacing it with our own version of what special and meaningful look like on our own terms.

We need wabi-sabi in our homes and minds now more than ever because we are over-saturated with glossy images of perfectiontheres far too much in the media to compare ourselves to, seemingly always telling us to do more. A wabi-sabi viewpoint pushes these ideals aside and urges us to appreciate a different kind of ideal, such as people, places, and things with humility and simplicity, giving little importance to whats perceived as cool or of-the-moment. People who embrace wabi-sabi live large, open lives, with welcoming homes in which to entertain at a moments notice. Entertaining comes easily to them because their idea of hosting is about simply showing up, not showing off. You know these individuals by the way they make you feel instantly at ease and at home. Whether they offer you grilled squid or a glass of apple juice, the crux of the matter for them is providing real comfort and deep connection rather than adhering to conventional ideas of what entertaining should be.

My personal sense of what sharing a home is all about changed dramatically after my familys house burned down in a California wildfire, and with it nearly everything we owned. Whereas at times I may have been tempted to buy into the idea that what I owned, and how perfectly I controlled it all, defined me, I swiftly learned on the brink of adulthood how temporary stuff is. Instead of desiring the best, most covetable, or most sophisticated objects, Ive come to see my home as a vessel for filling with friends and belongings that remind me of transience, such as traces of nature, photographs, and gifts from loved ones. I still enjoy and admire things, and my current home is full of them, but theyre more like props than praiseworthy possessionsaids for making my home as warm and welcoming as possible. Objects are fleeting, but so is the time we have with others, and home is the place for making the most of our valuable moments together.

While wabi-sabi is an expansive, inclusive way of seeing the world, its far from willy-nilly. Its a thoughtful, intentional aesthetic (even if the intent is to let things age naturally) that takes shape in many different forms, which is why I was inspired to create this collection of wabi-sabi expressions from around the world. Each chapter is framed by a wabi-sabi principle and explores different regions where these principles are practiced: Japan, Denmark, California, France, and Italy. Youll see the young and the old, families and single people who have woven wabi-sabi into their everyday being, expressing this philosophy whether at home alone or entertaining a small crowd. These pages are filled with the real and raw things of lifefriends, homes, and settings captured just as I found them, shot exclusively on film to reveal flaws and imperfections. No editing, enhancing, or embellishing here. Instead, youll find down-to-earth ideas for making anyone feel more at home in your space, and simple, approachable recipes that I know to be reliable fallbacks for meals that can feed two or ten. Ultimately, this book should be used like a field guide, both for browsing and reading. I hope it lives somewhere in your home where dog-earing and underlining happen naturally, getting smudged up as you cook and acquiring a perfectly wabi-sabi patina.

Bringing people together shouldnt feel complicated or contrived; it should be joyful and spontaneous. This book is meant to inspire you to make those joyful, spontaneous moments of togetherness happen more often. Having a community is an essential and basic part of life, and for the most part we all have the same joys, desires, and fearswe want to be known, to belong somewhere, and to share the big and little things in life with others. Sometimes we simply need to be with people to feel seen and heard again, and making our homes a healing place for that to happen is a beautiful way to begin. I hope this book can serve as a reminder that so much contentment and conviviality can be added to our lives when we open our homes and ourselvesperfectly imperfect as we areto friends, family, neighbors, and strangers. The wabi-sabi way will help get us there.