Hammond - Sex, Sleep or Scrabble: Seriously Funny Answers to Lifes Quirkiest Queries

1

If you slow down too much, dont you get pressure sores?

Are we really less happy than we were in the fifties?

Is sex the greatest pleasure there is?

Is happiness as contagious as swine fl u?

Can you enjoy being miserable?

A dog, a job and a knob. Do I need anything else?

Is dogging anything to do with dogs?

Is it healthy to sleep with a pet?

What are the side effects of budgie smuggling?

Is it really good to touch the green, green grass of home?

Is pulling your nose a polite way to masturbate in public?

Is swearing good for you?

Do people in glasses get more passes?

Should MPs tell us what theyve snorted?

Whats the most dangerous recreational drug?

Is ecstasy really no riskier than horse-riding?

Where do I find my Ive had enough button?

2

Do doctors take the same advice and drugs they dish out to patients?

Are doctors full of spin?

Why do some GPs buzz you while others fetch you?

What do doctors do in-between patients?

Why do some doctors stare at your face and others at your feet?

Why do doctors always come at you from the right?

Why do doctors do that tapping thing with the fingers?

Why do doctors put their hand on your chest and get you to say ninety-nine?

Do doctors ever pretend to hear noises with a stethoscope?

What did GPs do in the days before they dished out pills?

Whats the most irritating thing a doctor can say to a patient?

When a doctor rolls up his sleeve is it time to leave?

Is it OK to swear in front of patients?

What do doctors do with patients they hate?

Do unlucky beds really exist?

Do doctors still remove bits of brain with an ice-pick?

Do doctors still experiment on themselves?

Has a doctor ever eaten a patients poo?

Why do men become gynecologists?

3

HIS BITS

Penis or Tummy Banana?

Should I prick my pearly penile papules?

What do 90% of British men have that 70% of American men dont?

Whats a helix mark?

Why does my scrotum look fifty years older than I do?

Why is my scrotum covered in chicken skin?

Does my penis have higher blood pressure than I do?

Does a penis always look smaller from above?

Are erections powered by laughing gas?

Why dont men have a bone in the penis?

Can a normal knob be bent and twisted?

Do most men have moobs?

Why do men pee all over the floor?

Are some men genitally unaware?

Are some men genitally too aware?

HER PIECES

Vagina or furry hoop?

If women had to climax to produce an egg, would humans die out?

Does a clitoris have legs?

Why cant women pee standing up?

Does jogging make your boobs droop?

Does breast size matter to men?

Is it worth having a nip, tuck and tidy down below?

If women had no discharge, would they squeak?

BITS AND PIECES

Can you beat a good poo?

Whats the correct position for a poo?

Should you stand up or sit down to wipe?

Is it OK to rinse out a toilet brush in the sink?

Why are the British obsessed with their bowels?

Is Bristol proud of its Stool chart?

Can farting spread disease?

Is farting always someone elses fault?

When is it OK to relieve yourself in public?

If it moves, is it rude?

If a woman starts periods at the menarche, when does a man

start ejaculating?

How do I choose which size sanitary towels to buy my partner?

Why do women clean up when men pee all over the floor?

Why does it hurt when I pee?

4

FLYING SOLO

Is wanking a form of genocide?

Do love eggs need to be fitted?

Do voice activated vibrators work?

Do people who work from home masturbate more?

How do you stop a teenage boy wanking all the time?

Who invented masturbatory guilt?

If you dont masturbate, doesnt it just come out at night?

Is it normal to make a racket when youre on your own?

Is masturbation ever harmful?

VERY BASIC INSTINCTS

Has everyone had more sex than me?

Is it OK to be not terribly interested in sex?

Is it normal to laugh during sex?

Is comedy just sex in disguise?

How soon can I have sex after a heart attack?

How soon can I have sex after the cats died?

Is infidelity normal?

Is marriage really good for your health?

Should I write an infidelity blog?

Is watching porn a type of adultery?

Does everyone else do it?

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a sex worker?

SEX IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

How many different types of orgasm are there?

Where do I find the use-by date on a penis?

Why vinegar strokes?

Whats gichigich?

Do all women shout Geronimo at orgasm?

Whats the correct response to a fanny fart?

Is bacchanalia anything to do with Burt Bacharach?

Can cosmic energy give me better orgasms?