Smith - The Truth About Ellen: A feel-good romantic comedy

The Truth

About Ellen

Sarah Louise Smith

Copyright 2013 Sarah Louise Smith.

All rights reserved.

Second edition, published 2019.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written

permission of the author except for brief quotations used for promotion or in reviews.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are used

fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental.

Editor: Jeff Gardiner

For my brother Dan,

I hope this makes up for the attempted strangulation.

Chapter One

I've always been the clumsiest person in any given room. When I was 16, I was at a Four Apes concert (my favourite band) and I actually fell down the stairs on the way out of the arena and fractured my wrist. Another time, when I was 24, I was out shopping with my mum and I tripped, sprained an ankle and broke two ribs.

I'm always tripping, falling, slipping, dropping, breaking and losing things. The fact that I'd made it to 28 with a mostly intact body, still functioning and breathing and going about a fairly normal existence, was a miracle of epic proportions.

So, it was no surprise to me that as I peeled the foil off my mini Easter egg and took a small bite that the whole thing crumbled in my hands, leaving my chin, work desk and lap covered in rapidly melting shards of chocolate.

Yummy aren't they? said my co-worker, Darby, taking a dainty bite of hers without creating any mess whatsoever.

Darby was pretty much the opposite of me. I couldn't imagine that she'd ever tripped up the stairs, lost her mother's favourite necklace, forgotten her best friends birthday, or even had a single hair out of place her entire life. She always came into the office looking like shed just stepped out of a glossy magazine. Her face was made up with just the right amount of make-up to give her that naturally stunning look, and her clothes always fit beautifully as if designed and made to measure (which they probably were). And her sing-song voice never uttered a word that wasn't worth the whole office hearing. I hated her. I wasn't jealous honest. I just didn't need someone that perfect in my life, thank you very much.

Oscar, our boss, had left a small egg on each of our desks as a token thanks for our 'hard work'. As I'd only been with the company for five months, and my last boss had barely muttered good morning to me when she arrived each day, I thought this was pretty generous.

My co-workers had, however, complained that he'd given them much larger eggs the year before.

I sat in a pod of four desks with Darby, plus another two girls Margot and Tammy. Margot was nearing retirement and kept quiet most of the day, until anyone started talking about television and then she piped up and gave her opinion on what had been on the night before. Darby and Tammy were close friends who talked all day about their love-lives, gossiped about their mutual chums and other colleagues, or debated fashion and celebrities. In fact they chatted all day about anything they could think of. I mostly kept myself to myself and tried to work hard; I was still on probation and I needed this job. I had rent and bills to pay, a car to run, and a cat to feed. Plus there was always shed-loads of work to be getting on with.

Today was no exception; I had a report to prepare for Oscar, and as it was the last day before the Easter break we were all leaving after lunch. I blocked out the others chitter-chatter, trying to concentrate on what I was working on, but then something Darby said caught my attention and I couldn't ignore it.

I hear the Four Apes are rumoured to be getting back together.

Four Apes. My favourite band. Ever. I was 13 when they burst onto the music scene with a cool blend of indie-rock. I was at just the right age to develop a huge celebrity crush and Four Apes were the perfect band for me to become fanatical about.

I went to their concerts, I donned their t-shirts, and I wore out lots of VHS cassette tapes by recording all their television appearances. Every square inch of my bedroom walls and ceiling was covered in posters and magazine cut-outs. I doodled their logo every time a pen and slip of paper presented itself.

Laura, my best friend back then, was also a huge fan. Her favourite was George, who was the eldest and the drummer. Then there was Alex who played the keyboard; Tom the bass guitarist, who wrote most of the songs. But while I loved them all, I was totally in love with Jasper, the bad boy and lead singer. I would scowl each time I saw paparazzi shots of him coming out of a bar with his arm around a stunning skinny girl, who no doubt didnt realise just how wonderful he was. That shouldve been me.

Then one day, when I was about 18, the band split up and went their separate ways. Jasper launched a huge solo career, which Id also followed closely, buying every album and seeing him live every time he went on tour. I even met him once. My heart fluttered at the memory, but I quickly pushed the memory away again.

The rest of the Four Apes hadnt really been heard of much since; theyd just faded into obscurity.

Until now.

Did you just say the Four Apes are getting back together? I asked Darby, hoping Id be able to hide my over-excitement.

Well, that's what I read. I dont know if it's true.

I turned back to my computer screen and wondered if the world would be graced with another amazing musical masterpiece of an album. I hadnt been in touch with Laura for years; we were friends on Facebook but wed drifted apart. She had a husband and two kids now, and I was still a kid myself, so our lives were very different. I wondered if shed heard this gossip and thought of me, too. How crazy we were for those four boys back then, although of course they were men now.

Ellen, can I see you for a moment? Oscar called from his office. I took another bite of chocolate more carefully this time and made my way to his little room. It was bright and clean, not a pencil out of place. I glanced at the framed photo of his wife and children, and smiled. They always looked like such a cute little family.

So, youve been here five months now, yes?

Oh. Id thought this was about some work Id been doing for him. Didnt he like me? Was my probation over already? What would I do if he let me go? Would my parents be able to help me pay the bills?

Yes, I said, working out how much of a parental loan Id need to request. Maybe I could get a temp job. If I went to an agency right now, how soon could they get me some contract work?

And do you like it?

Yes, I said, feeling my hands turn sweaty. Why does that always happen to me? Wet hands are not what I need in times of crisis. Stupid body.

Good, because Ive been really impressed with you so far.

What? Oh. I relaxed into my seat a little more and tried to subtly rub my sticky hands on my skirt.

Thank you.

So wed like to offer you a permanent contract now. And assuming you want to accept, theres an induction training course every permanent employee has to go on, so well get you booked on that.

Id heard about these training courses from the others; they usually put you in some hellish hotel and you spent five days watching lifeless colleagues tell you about the business youd already been working in for several months, staring at presentation slides and wishing youd turned the offer down.

But it was a week away from home; maybe itd be good for me. Anyway, I needed the job. A permanent contract yay!

Thats great. Thank you so much Oscar.

No, thank you. Youve fitted in well and worked hard. Im really impressed.

I smiled and felt myself blush. Thank you.

Right, okay, Ill sort the paperwork.