Stafford - Only love today: reminders to breathe more, stress less, and choose love

OTHER BOOKS BY RACHEL MACY STAFFORD

Hands Free Mama

Hands Free Life

ZONDERVAN

Only Love Today

Copyright 2017 by Rachel Macy Stafford

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

EPub Edition February 2017 ISBN 9780310346753

ISBN 978-0-310-35025-5 (signature edition)

ISBN 978-0-310-34949-5 (international trade edition)

ISBN 978-0-310-35029-3 (audio)

ISBN 978-0-310-34675-3 (ebook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Stafford, Rachel Macy, 1972-author.

Title: Only love today: reminders to breathe more, stress less, and choose love / Rachel Macy Stafford.

Description: Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, [2017]

Identifiers: LCCN 2016043333 | ISBN 9780310346746 (hardcover)

Subjects: LCSH: Christian life.

Classification: LCC BV4501.3 .S723 2017 | DDC 248.4dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016043333

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Cover design, hand lettering, and illustration: Kristi Smith, Juicebox Designs

Interior design: Kait Lamphere

Back cover image: Amy Paulson

First printing January 2017 / Printed in the United States of America

Dedicated to Delpha & Harry Macy

It was your example that inspired

my purpose, my prayer, and

eventually the words in this book.

Let me be love... because thats who

my parents raised me to be.

When your doctor tells you to stop at a drugstore on your way home and buy a blood pressure monitor, you do it.

Without giving it much thought, I chose the model that looked easy enough to administer. I planned to take my blood pressure a few times over the next several days to get an idea of what was going on with me.

When I got home, I immediately sat down at the kitchen table and started unpacking the box. I called out to Natalie, my twelve-year-old medical specialist-in-training, and asked her to help me.

I know how to do that, Mama, she said, taking the cuff from me with capable hands and guiding my arm through the sleeve. We learned this at emergency medicine camp last summer.

As she leaned over me in concern, my mind raced with worries ranging from dire to inconsequential. Whats wrong with me? Will I need blood pressure medication? Will Natalie and I make it to swim practice on time? What in the world am I going to make for dinner? Did I really wear one blue sock and one black sock to the doctors office?

Only love today, I silently repeated until the noise in my head quieted and I could be right where I needed to bein this moment.

I felt the blood pressure cuff squeeze my upper arm and a few strands of Natalies hair graze my skin. For the first time in a long time, I felt I was in good hands. Thats when an unexpected blanket of peace settled over me, offering a crystal-clear perspective:

Those messy piles on the kitchen counter dont matter.

Those snug-fitting pants strewn on the floor of my closet dont either.

That opportunity I missed fifteen years ago and still think about today will need to go now.

That traffic Ill face taking Natalie to swim team practice wont faze me.

That person who always gives me the cold shoulder wont bother me today.

Even the nonstop rain sounds quite soothing as it beats down on the roof of my house for the ninth straight day.

As the cuff loosened and the numbers flashed, I decided Id call my parents. Id write a note to my husband, Scott, and place it on his pillow. Id get that giant knot out of my younger daughters hair softly, tenderly, and lovingly; Avery and I might even laugh about it. Id go for a run in the rain with my music turned all the way up and cry if I felt like it. Id write. Id write beautiful words that would outlast me.

And thats exactly what I did with the hours of day that remained.

In that forty-five-second pause to check the status of my heart, I received the ultimate reprieve: the distractions fell away... the pressure subsided... the worries dissipated... the weight lifted. What mattered most came into clear focus.

Could this be the answer? I wondered. Id always longed for a concrete way to keep my priorities straighta way to put love at the top of the to-do list, above all else. But such an existence was not easy for a recovering perfectionist, reformed rusher, and professional multitasker. Questions, worries, and demands ran on a continuous loop through my head, causing me to choose productivity, distraction, and efficiency over feelings, connections, growth, and self-care far too often.

But in those sacred seconds when I could actually feel the blood pulsing through my veins, I was able to catch my breath and prioritize the meaning-ful over the meaning-less. Thus, heart readings became my daily practice. I sat motionless, relishing the squeeze on my arm and the flash of clarity, knowing Id experience greater intentionality throughout the remainder of the day. In those peaceful moments at the kitchen table, only love today became more than a mantra to recite; it became a reset button for my misdirected soul.

You dont need to do that anymore, Scott said a few months later as Natalie and I huddled together over the cuff like it was our job.

He was referring to what Id learned at my doctor visit the day before: my elevated blood pressure had returned to normal. I was on a healthy path, and I no longer needed to monitor it daily.

Yes. I do, I told my husband, feeling quite certain nothing would ever stop me from taking my blood pressure.

What Scott didnt know was that Id taken an informal inventory of what had transpired since I purchased that cuff. Id taken more walks... more naps... more risks. Id given more second chances... more loving glances... more three-second pauses. Id given away less of my most precious commodities, such as time, focus, and energy, so Id have plenty for the people I loved. I stopped mindlessly scrolling and accepting requests out of guilt; I declined social gatherings that drained me; I reduced unnecessary commitments, time-wasting distractions, and interactions with toxic people. In other words, the cuff had empowered me to channel love into the most important areas of my life despite what the outside world was pressuring me to do. The daily blood pressure reading was my remedy for the ailments of too busy, too tired, too stressed, too hurried, and too distracted. In forty-five seconds, it cleared away the fog so I could seize what mattered most.

As I watched those numbers flash, I wished everyone could experience the illuminating power of the blood pressure cuff the way I had.

One day I realized they could.