Kelley Kosow - The Integrity Advantage: Step Into Your Truth, Love Your Life, and Claim Your Magnificence

About the Author

Kelley Kosow is an author, motivational speaker, and the chief executive officer of the highly acclaimed Ford Institute. She continues the legacy of the late Debbie Ford, New York Times bestselling author and creator of The Shadow Process, and leads the development and teachings of The Ford Institutes transformational programs to tens of thousands of people across the globe.

Known as a kick-ass coach to high-level executives, change makers, celebrities, and dynamic, motivated individuals committed to personal transformation, Kelley blends her quick wit, laser-sharp insight, and relentless compassion to help people upgrade their lives on a cellular level. While her gifts are many, she is remarkably skilled at awakening people to their limiting patterns, beliefs, and self-sabotaging behaviors and presenting the path of what is possible. Her coaching elevates the relationships her clients and students have not only with others, but also with themselves.

Kelley is a graduate of Brown University and the University of Miami Law School and was formerly a practicing attorney and family law mediator. Though she achieved great success in her career, she felt stuck and was seeking more meaningful work when she discovered The Ford Institute. After Kelley began working with Debbie, she knew that a new path had opened up for her, and she became a staff member in 2007.

Prior to that, Kelley founded the company Go Goddess! Inc., which created games, books, and seminars to empower, inspire, and entertain women and girls. She has been featured in O: The Oprah Magazine as someone who could Dream it, Do it, as well as in InStyle, People, Working Mother, Latina, the New York Times, Conde Nast Traveler, and the Los Angeles Times. Kelley has also appeared on Lifetimes The Balancing Act and the Better Show.

Today, Kelley splits her time in Miami, New York City, and Los Angeles with family, friends, and her personal development community.

For more on Kelley and her work, visit kelleykosow.com.

Acknowledgments

I am blessed to have the most amazing people in my life! They love, inspire, support, push, challenge, applaud, see, and accept me. They are and have been with me every step of the way, and for that I am truly blessed and infinitely grateful!

The fact is, everyone who has touched my life has impacted this book. Although I couldnt possibly thank them all, my hope is that they know in their heart the love and gratitude I have for them. However, I would be remiss if I did not personally thank the following people:

My parents, for giving me the amazing foundation and education that has made everything possible. To my mother, Eleanor Kosow, for always being there for the girls and me. You are the epitome of what a matriarch of a family should be. You are an icon of style and a role model of strength, moral conviction, and faith! To my father, Joseph Kosow, I wish you were here longer, but I could not have asked for someone who made a bigger impression. Your humor, brilliance, and larger-than-life personaI am proud to be my fathers daughter!

Debbie Ford, for being a brilliant teacher, inspiration, and friend. Thank you for seeing in me what I did not own in myself. Youll be with me like a handprint on my heart forever, and because I knew you, I have been changed for good. I miss you but know that you are doing your thing from the other side.

Elaine Berkowitz, Cathy Blank, Mayi de la Vega, Claire Faithful, Judy Lefton, Rachel Levy, Jane Marcus, Pauline Merl, Starr Porter, Claudia Potamkin, Laurie Riemer, Millinda Sinnreich, and Lynda Weiser for being the best friends, confidantes, and support system a person could have. Thank you for being aunts to the girls and sisters to me!

Ellen Collier, my first teacher, for holding the space and being the catalyst for so many blessings. I miss your safety and your strength.

Claudette Herbert, for always being there and giving 110%! Watching you evolve into the woman that you are has been a joy! Thank you for all that you do and for your fierce dedication.

Robert Fox, for being so impeccable as a trainer and a friend. I loved our mornings together. Thank you for sharing your humanity and your heart with me. Missing you still hurts, and know I am hooked forever!

Gabriel Stunna Varona, for being there for me every day, kicking my butt, and understanding my facial expressions and the way my mind works! Who you are and what you bring to the world is awe-inspiring (shoesforstreets.com)! And to my workout buddy, Jill Finkelstein, for always showing up and caring!

Julie Stroud, for believing in me and supporting me in every way. Our partnership and the trust and respect we have for each other are gifts that I truly cherish! I cant thank you enough for your steadfast dedication, brilliance, and friendship.

Fran Fusco, for being my other touchstone and always giving me the space and encouragement to keep going.

All the Integrative Life Coaches at The Ford Institute (thefordinstitute.com), who have supported me, grown up with me, and walked this evolutionary path with methank you for sharing your lives, lessons, laughter, and love. And a special big thanks to Julie Bishop, Shari Coltune, Nancy Levin, Bette Schubert, and Vincent Scotto for their extraordinary sharing and support. Your dedication and generosity of spirit have impacted not only me, but thousands. And to my teachers and mentors over the years, thank you for your wisdom, guidance, and feedback.

My clients and all of those who contributed their stories to this book. Thank you for sharing your lives, entrusting me with your confidences, and allowing your stories to be used to serve others.

Michael Mirdad for your guidance, wisdom, and generosity.

The amazing men in my life who have loved, supported, and put up with me. Thank you for all that you brought to my life and taught me about love and myself.

Tom Bird, creator of the Write Your Book in a Weekend workshop (tombird.com). Thank you for creating the space for me to realize that I had a book inside me and giving me the opportunity to birth the first version of this book. Your generosity, candor, and caring was the huge push I needed to make this dream into a reality.

Cindy DiTiberioif you had not come along, I probably would have given up! I cannot thank you enough for your genius, generosity, structure, true caring, and all that you bring to the table. Having you by my side made all the difference!

Stephanie Tade, my literary agent (and her assistant, Colleen Martell), for having faith in me and supporting me in truly finding and expressing my voice. Thank you for standing with me in my vision, standing up for me when I was insecure, and giving me the confidence to be authentic in unknown territory.

Alice Peck, for your authentic encouragement, generous heart, and brilliant editing.

All the people at Sounds True, for your dedication and commitment to and support for not only me, but also the world of transformation, personal growth, and education. I am honored to be part of your team.

The three most important people in my life, Chelsea, Nikki, and Ryann. I am so blessed to have you as daughters. Beyond being my favorite people in the world, I am in awe at what amazing human beings you are. You are my greatest gifts!

Lyrics from For Good from the musical Wicked.

A New Definition of Integrity

In most standard dictionaries, there are two definitions of integrity:

The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles

The state of being whole and undivided

For the first forty years of my life, I was only familiar with the first definition of integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. Strong moral principles, I knew all about those; I was brought up by an Italian Catholic mother. She had a clear and strong sense of right and wrong and made sure to pass those concepts along to her three children. Being the youngest, and seeing my brother and sister punished for doing anything wrong, I decided early on to take the path of doing it right. My good-girl, overachiever persona was cemented before I hit first grade. I clung to my checklist of life, exceeding every goal and milestone I set. I showed up 100 percent and produced beyond expectation. When I became an attorney, that sealed the dealI was a fighter for justice and truth. I, like so many others, wore