Amy Newmark - Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Joy of Less: 101 Stories about Having More by Simplifying Our Lives

Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Joy of Less

101 Stories about Having More by Simplifying Our Lives

Amy Newmark and Brooke Burke-Charvet

Published by Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC www.chickensoup.com

Copyright 2016 by Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

CSS, Chicken Soup for the Soul, and its Logo and Marks are trademarks of Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC.

The publisher gratefully acknowledges the many publishers and individuals who granted Chicken Soup for the Soul permission to reprint the cited material.

Front cover artwork courtesy of iStockphoto.com/Javarman3 (@Javarman3)

Front cover photo of Brooke Burke-Charvet courtesy of Jeff Katz

Back cover and Interior photo courtesy of iStockphoto.com/dsharple (@dsharple)

Photo of Amy Newmark courtesy of Susan Morrow at SwickPix

Interior photo of Brooke Burke-Charvet courtesy of Don Flood

Cover and Interior by Daniel Zaccari

Distributed to the booktrade by Simon & Schuster. SAN: 200-2442

Publishers Cataloging-In-Publication Data

(Prepared by The Donohue Group, Inc.)

Names: Newmark, Amy, compiler. | Burke, Brooke, compiler.

Title: Chicken soup for the soul : the joy of less : 101 stories about having more by simplifying our lives / [compiled by] Amy Newmark and Brooke Burke-Charvet.

Other Titles: Joy of less : 101 stories about having more by simplifying our lives

Description: [Cos Cob, Connecticut] : Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, [2016]

Identifiers: LCCN 2016932380 | ISBN 978-1-61159-957-2 (print) |

ISBN 978-1-61159-257-3 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Simplicity--Literary collections. | Simplicity--Anecdotes. | Consumption (Economics)--Literary collections. | Consumption (Economics)--Anecdotes. | Contentment--Literary collections. | Contentment--Anecdotes. | Conduct of life--Literary collections. | Conduct of life--Anecdotes. | Anecdotes.

Classification: LCC BJ1496 .C45 2016 (print) | LCC BJ1496 (ebook) | DDC 646.7--dc23

Changing your life one story at a time

www.chickensoup.com

W e live in a society where most people are looking for the BBD (the Bigger, Better Deal) and not making an effort to nurture and enjoy what they already have. Making a commitment to prioritize whats most meaningful in ones life is imperative for living a life of fulfillment.

Im surrounded by a world of privilege, excess, and fantasy. While I run a business and raise my four children, I also work in television and I come across many unsatisfied people who tend to miss the message of The Joy of Less. Thats why I was so excited to be a part of this inspirational collection of Chicken Soup for the Soul stories that help us focus on what really matters in our lives.

I believe in the power of saying no no to too many material possessions, and no to schedules so crowded with obligations that we crowd out time we should spend with our families and our friends. We need to use the power of no so that we can say yes to the things that matter to us.

As a young woman, I shared my life with many people aiming to please others at the expense of being true to themselves and their own needs. Ill never forget the first time my boyfriend blew off a social dinner because we were jetlagged and simply too tired to pull it off. I was so relieved that we could skip what was potentially a four-hour dinner, but I was also mortified by his insensitivity to our hosts. I remember thinking how free he must feel to not be psychologically obligated to show up for someone elses event.

Rather than canceling, I have learned to say no up front. Now let me tell you, Hollywood is notorious for being flaky. I cannot stand people who say yes and then dont follow through. Being unreliable is unacceptable. There is an etiquette to saying no, which can be misinterpreted as being rude, but I believe in a good, honest no.

I write my own story. I am responsible for the commitment to raise a connected family without guilt, and I alone control my journey. I often make compromises for my husband and family, but outside of that I do not do what does not serve me.

As a multitasking businesswoman and mother of four, I have chosen to conquer my work/life balancing act by saying no as often as I need to. Which means I dont have much of a social life! But my family life is so rewarding, and valuable, that I choose to put it first and let all other wish lists take a back seat.

I used to get anxious when looking at my calendar, calculating every full day and the endless events that filled it. I would furiously flip pages looking for an empty date that meant I would have some time to breathe. I placed my personal time last on the priority list. Then I turned forty and I grew up!

Saying no to many social events and other demands on my time, even optional ones that are for work, allows me to carve out my invaluable me time. I need that for my sanity, and in order to do a good job doing what matters to me. I am often asked how I balance motherhood and my hectic life. I dont know if any woman honestly thinks she has achieved that perfect balance, but I am okay taking my life day by day and doing the best I can and that means focusing on quality time. For example, I dont feel any guilt about passing on most invitations on school nights. On busy work days, I try my best to be home at night for my family. That means missing those fun ladies nights with the other moms, and it means passing on nights out, even with friends I adore. They have to take second place to my family and my own wellbeing.

The speed at which we move is so fast that we too often forget to hit the pause button. I spent much of my younger years going to places I had little interest in, socializing with people I didnt enjoy, and wasting time for other peoples benefit. All of that compromised my personal gratification.

Youll read dozens of stories in this Chicken Soup for the Soul collection that will empower you to say no yourself. Youll see how other men and women did it, and youll read about the consequences which were always great! Most of our writers were pleasantly surprised by how well their nos were received, and by how well their lives went once they learned how to de-clutter their calendars.

Youll also learn about another kind of de-cluttering in these stories, and that is the how and why of reducing all the stuff that you have. Its a rare person who doesnt feel that he or she has too many material possessions, and we present you with dozens of stories that provide you with easy-to-implement tips for how to do it.

My own rule, the result of necessity, is dig it or ditch it. If you arent using it, if you havent worn it in a year, get it out of your life. Give it to a friend, donate it to your church or a thrift shop that supports a good cause. Someone else will value the item that no longer fits in your life.

Keeping the clutter means someone else doesnt get the blessing of your unwanted item, and it also means you cant clearly see those items of value that really should remain part of your life. I love having a little space between hangers and being able to organize fashion choices. Having too much just isnt healthy. Its overwhelming, it hangs over us, and it slows us down.